User:Walcanarus/sandbox/Cael Brown

Carl Brown (born April 1245) is the (Self Declared) King of Wales. He also is the current leader of the Welsh Kingdom Party which he took over from himself when he elected himself the elected leader. He never understood politics or even Kingdoms for that matter. But it didn't stop him from declaring himself King to annoy the local village folk.

Biography
Nothing of Cael is really known expect from 5 people all now dead. The first one Karl White said that he was a horrible leader and would kill anyone who dared to talk about him, Karl also was scared he was going to die so he fled to Ethopia in 2004 where he died of food overdose. The second and third Karlen Yellow and Cal Blue, both male lesbian lovers said that Karl forced them to dance for at least 200 hours a day to the Soviet Union national anthem slowed down by 400%. The fourth person only went by the name Numbers said that Karl was a normal guy up until the age of his birth where his father Karl Marx forced him to become King of Wales to spread the news and great importance of communism way back in 043BC, Numbers sadly died from being stabbed by a whole subway in 1822. The fifth and final person who talked about him was a man named Donald Trump. Donald talked a lot about Cael in his political speeches, using the word "Mexican" and "Illegal" to describe Cael. (Those being his legal other names in the UK and Ireland). Trump sadly died after his golden plane smashed into the Jeb Bush national hotel back in 1992. Jeb Bush also sadly died after reading a piece of paper with the name "Cael All colours mixed together".

Military Failure
Cael Brown once was part of a military, not an official military so to speak but his military. He ordered 900 men (women we not allowed in his Kingdom, even his wife was a man, all of his kids, men) to flood the nearest farm and give him all the sheep, he freed the sheep (20360 of them, all male) and made sure they were safe in his Kingdom, problem was the local police were called in and fined Cael £20,000 for stealing. After the sheep were returned, Cael raised £40,000 from a homeless shelter, brought the sheep and then paid off the fine, his only battle and he lost it to a local unarmed militia.

Political career
Cael's political career was all over the place, he lost 900 elections, 90% were his own, he still lost them. No one really knew where he stood on policies other than shouting "Make Wales Great Again" "Free Beer for me and you" and slowly singing the Soviet Union and Germany national anthem. He says he is far right but most of his policies like "freeing the slaves" and "Seize the means of production" seem pretty far left.