User:WanjiaRuan/P1Harmony/MomokoT Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing WanjiaRuan's work.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link: User:WanjiaRuan/P1Harmony


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link: P1Harmony

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hi Wanjia, here's my peer review for you.

Lead
 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? - Yes, you added another paragraph to the lead paragraph, which explains the meaning of the band name. This is an important piece of information for the band, and I believe it is appropriate to put it in the lead section. Also, I noticed that you add another sentence to the lead section about the date of the band's new film. This helps to clarify the band's timeline.

Content


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic? - Yes, in the history section, you separated a long paragraph into two, and added another new paragraph to the band's recent history. You added a detailed timeline for each event and relative citations in each part. By separating the long paragraph, you made it easier to track different events that happened each year. Also, you added two other sections called Artistry and Philanthropy, which introduce the motivation and meaning of the EPs. I feel like you could combine this when you describe these EPs in the history section so that audiences could acknowledge this information altogether.
 * Is the content added up-to-date? - Yes, especially for the history section, you mentioned events that happened from 2023 - the present.

Tone and Balance


 * Is the content added neutral? - For the most part yes, for the added content you basically described the process of events.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?: Most of the information mentioned in the draft comes from the band’s official accounts and the fandom’s perspectives. Maybe you could try to find other perspectives related to the band to create a more neutral tone.

Sources and References


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? - Most of the references come from reliable Korean sources. However, I noticed that there is no reference in the Philanthropy section, maybe you could add 1-2 references here about P1Harmony helping children and farmers on Jeju Island.


 * Are the sources current? - Yes again you have a broad arrange of articles from 2020 to 2023
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible? Yes, I saw resources both in Korean and in English, reflecting multiple perspectives related to the topic.

Organization


 * the content added is well-written and it is easy to read; The content added is well-organized, and it's broken down into sections/general headings and then with specific details. The history part is especially well-organized, good work! I feel like the Members part could be moved to the front since this is essential information for this topic.

Overall impressions


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?/How can the content added be improved? - By adding more information and reorganizing the existing content, I believe this article has been improved a lot.