User:Waynnee/Golden shiner/Saraknowsthings Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Waynnee


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Waynnee/sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Golden shiner

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The information provided is good and important to the article. However, there are grammatical errors. The use of it instead of their is used frequently. Also, the information provided is kind of slapped in here. There should be more of an introduction to the information - maybe a sentence on the fact that general substances can have an effect on the organism, where you then can elaborate on the specific effects of mercury. Citation numbers should go after the punctuation. Your sources are good and recent. Also, in your last sentence,I think you should focus on making it sound less like a summary of the experiment results - like taking out the part ... 'nearly three times compared to other groups exposed to lower amounts of mercury'. This part isn't really important to this Wikipedia article on Gold Shiners.