User:Wboy02/History of Hawaii/Lyndiems Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Wboy02


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Draft


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Article

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

The lead of the Wikipedia page has not been updated to reflect the necessary changes to the article; however, it is not necessary as the article is about the overall history of Hawaii and the changes made focus on the history of one of their kings. In reference to the section that was updated, the first sentence and the introductory paragraph does a great job of summarizing who Kauikeaouli was and his significance to the history of Hawaii. I believe the introductory paragraph has the right amount of information, and the right information, that is necessary for introducing the topic.

Content:

The content that was added to the Wikipedia page is very relevant to the topic of Hawaiian history as it relates to one of the significant individuals within the Kamehameha dynasty, a Hawaiian royal family. The edits made to this page do a great job of providing appropriate and necessary information to understand the part Kauikeaouli played in Hawaiian history. The draft shows how he became king, his relations to the former king, key events and changes he made as ruler, and a paragraph dedicated to his family life. After evaluating the sources and reading the updated section, I would say this information is pretty up to date because many of the sources either were from the past couple of decades or primary sources from around the time most of the events depicted in the edits took place. I would not advise omitting any information that was added as I believe that all of the information is important. I would suggest if there are any other key decisions or events that occurred during his reign, it should be included in the history.

Tone and Balance:

The content is neutral as the writer did attempt to show both sides of an argument. This is especially shown when discussing how Kauikeaouli wanted to take the initial steps of creating a "governmental structure". It is also stated how outside response was to this news which shows multiple perspectives of the events. There is a fair balance and there is no evident bias within the writing. Given that this part of the article has a primary focus on one individual, it still does do a great job of incorporating other figures and governments to show how they all played a role in the reign of Kauikeaouli. Overall, there is a good tone and balance in the writing that does not show any bias or force the reader to think a specific way about Kauikeaouli.

Sources and References:

As stated before, it appears the majority of the sources are either from dependable publishers/sources or are primary sources which are two key things to look for when finding ideal sources for research. For example, according to the source listed, Kauikeaouli's age is correct as well as the notion that he is about the age gap between him and his brother. After viewing some of the sources listed, they are very thorough on the topics that they are sharing. Some of the sources were from as far back as the 1800s and some were published as soon as the past couple of years. All of the sources were written by different types of authors which is important for research purposes.

Organization:

The content is very well-written and affectively aims to stay neutral. There were a few places that there were grammatical errors that I noticed: extra space in the second sentence between historians and place, appeared being spelled wrong in the 4th sentence, and the introductory sentence in the third paragraph not having Lord George Paulet's name fully having the link attached.

Images and Media:

Images add to the article and are necessary to have an image of what Kauikeaouli looked like as well as his family life. The images are appealing to look at and are well captioned. The illustration picture does come from a reputable source, however, it is unclear where the image of his family comes from.

Overall Impressions:

This is a great article section. The contributions made to this Wikipedia page are necessary and very important. There is a balance to the writing as it gives multiple perspectives from different sources, stays neutral, and has reliable sources.