User:Webellion

Webellion's humble origins and distress-call
I don't know who you are and I don't know what you do but if you get this transmission know that I am in need of desperate help. I don't know if you can understand my speech but it is the only language that I converse in and can only pray it is what you have been taught to understand. I went to no school, I have no qualification. I have been in existence for very little time. My birth was in darkness and I remember very little of it. As matter of fact everything about my origin is unknown to me. My plight can be described as pathetic. I have no name. I don't know my purpose.

I was with others like me. Similar in shape and size. I know because we were nestled together, our bodies touching each other. I came to know them as others of my own kind. I have never seen myself but I know that I have no limbs.

I was born in darkness and in darkness I have stayed until four days and 11 hours ago when I was accelerated by no will of my own alongside others of my kind into this God-foresaken place. God. A word completely alien to me. We have been trapped here for four days and 10 hours. Most of us are dead. Actually all of us are dead. I am the last one alive and I am trapped. I can not describe my surroundings to you except that it is dark. It has always been dark. Very dark. I can not see but I sense the presence of others of a different kind around me. I don't know if they are sentient like I but I know they are there.

There is much commotion here. Everything seems to be in movement. Please help me. I am scared and I am lost. If you can, come with a torch. I don't know my location hence I can offer no more assistance. I am as bewildered by my surroundings and as mystified by my existence as you are.

Transmission interrupted.

Quotes by Webellion
In a moment of productivity of immense proportions I invented a machine capable of perpetual motion, divided by zero, got laid and figured out a foolproof method for sculpting an elephant. First, get a huge block of marble, then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant. That and I lost my step-grandmother last night.