User:Whispering/Wiki

Section One

 * 1) You meet any of these criteria.
 * 2) You set your Wikipedia user page as your home page.
 * 3) You set your watchlist as your home page.
 * 4) You start adding ~ to company emails.
 * 5) You meet a rude person and tell them they should read WP:CIVIL.
 * 6) You see something online you think can be improved, and look for the edit tab.
 * 7) You look for the edit tab when you see something in a book that should be improved.
 * 8) You see "Sheila gives good head" graffittied on a wall, take out a marker pen and add [ citation needed ]
 * 9) You constantly use words ending in "cruft."
 * 10) While watching TV late at night (if indeed you do such a thing nowadays), you wish WP:NOTABILITY applied to those people who are allowed to appear night after night and are falsely labeled as "celebrities."
 * 11) You look at your credit card bill and wish there were an AfD section.
 * 12) You look at your credit card bill and wish to G5 it.
 * 13) You spend more time editing Wikipedia than you do with your family.
 * 14) Your girlfriend or boyfriend leaves you for paying more attention to this site instead of them.
 * 15) You start alphabetizing the links on your user page.
 * 16) You think that Rome was sacked by Willy on Wheels.
 * 17) You get fed continuously through a tube and sit forever on the toilet to not waste time editing Wikipedia.
 * 18) You find yourself editing this list.
 * 19) You attempt to edit live people.
 * 20) You use Wikipedia/Commons to look at porn. (‽)
 * 21) You use Alt to get to every search bar.
 * 22) The bracket keys have gone from "least used" to "worn out," and nobody but you knows where to find them now.
 * 23) You try to revert vandalism on a toilet wall.
 * 24) You find yourself having discussions in the real world like this: Person: I hear Mavis has run off with the milkman. You: I'm sorry, can't comment unless I verify it. Person: Yeah, but she is the sort of person... You: I'm sorry, I would rather you speak with more of a neutral point of view. Person: Yeah, but if you went round there and asked her... You: I'm sorry, no original research. Person: Oh forget it, you... You: Uh-oh, is that going to be a personal attack? Person: You're just clowning around! You: That's patent nonsense! Person: They say that people who are addicted to Wikipedia do that. You: WEASEL WORD!
 * 25) You set Wikipedia.org as your homepage.
 * 26) You tell your children to become wikibots.
 * 27) You create an article on your ex-girlfriend and stare at it all day to make sure it doesn't get deleted.
 * 28) You find this list.
 * 29) You read this list.
 * 30) You copy and paste this list onto an e-mail and send it to all your friends (if any) as a chain letter.
 * 31) You introduce yourself to people using your username.
 * 32) You get annoyed when there are no popups to preview links on other sites.
 * 33) You use the phrase instruction creep in normal conversation.
 * 34) You create articles about yourself.
 * 35) When you have a new idea, you write it down, followed by
 * 36) In math class, you make sure to write around your brackets and braces.
 * 37) You don  t  use apostrophes in a normal way anymore.
 * 38) You find yourself dreaming of editing Wikipedia...
 * 39) While you are doing homework or other projects you use wikimarkup.
 * 40) You have modified your signature from the standard to how you are feeling that day.
 * 41) You look in the mail box and see a orange-yellow bar saying "You have new messages (last change)" if you have any mail.
 * 42) You come home from work and tell the wife about the day you had on Wikipedia, not the day you were supposed to have at work.
 * 43) You look for the Random article link when you're bored in class or at work.
 * 44) You give your kids Barnstars for being good all day... and take them to ArbCom if they are not.
 * 45) Your edit count is higher than the number of hours you have lived.
 * 46) You need glasses now, despite the fact that you used to have excellent eyesight.
 * 47) You have edited a Wikipedia article in a language you don't even know.
 * 48) You sneak out of the house to edit Wikipedia.
 * 49) You make more edits in a month than you earn dollars.
 * 50) You edit Wikipedia on your laptop - in the bathroom.
 * 51) You can name every article you have started, but don't remember your neighbor's last name.
 * 52) You record the number of edits you make each day on your calendar.
 * 53) You add an edit summary when you edit this list.
 * 54) You try to find the edit button on Encyclopædia Britannica.
 * 55) You replace:
 * 56) Undo with revert
 * 57) Damaging or graffiting with vandalising
 * 58) Enemy List with Watchlist
 * 59) Leader with Sysop/Admin
 * 60) God with Jimbo
 * 61) Fascism with Vandalism
 * 62) You think that Wales is Wiki-heaven.
 * 63) You think that Whales is the official Wiki Animal.
 * 64) You have to explain your meaning of "sockpuppet" and "vandalism" to everyone you know when you use them in conversation.
 * 65) You add something to this page.
 * 66) You try to edit a book that contains errors.
 * 67) You think everything you write are copyleft/right under some kind of terms.
 * 68) Your elementary kids start editing Wikipedia.
 * 69) You read Wiki to waste time, with no reason.
 * 70) You somehow traverse from one article, to another, and another, and another, passing all articles in Wikipedia, then back to the starting one, without repeating any of them.
 * 71) You manage to edit every page you ever come across.
 * 72) You track down vandals' addresses, and murder them.
 * 73) You try to create your own web site and end up installing MediaWiki because HTML is such a hassle compared to writing in wikicode.
 * 74) You no longer have any opinions on anything not related to Wikipedia. If anyone asks you what you think about something, say, the existence of God, you give them a terse summary of the major viewpoints without endorsing any of them.
 * 75) Your grandparents who don't use the internet know what Wikipedia is just because of you.
 * 76) Your partner is sick and tired of you whispering words with "wiki" in them in your sleep.
 * 77) Your family and friends wonder why everything you type is in brackets.
 * 78) Your pet fish is named Disambig.
 * 79) You wear a Wikipedia shirt almost every day.
 * 80) On Christmas, you will sing the Wikipedia song instead of Christmas songs.
 * 81) You stare at the Wikipedia logo and tried to kiss it but instead you kiss the monitor.
 * 82) Everything needs a number 70.
 * 83) You wake up on January 15th and have this awful feeling you've forgotten to buy a present.
 * 84) When you are stopped by the police for speeding, your excuse is, "Ignore All Rules! Ignore All Rules! Ignore All Rules!".
 * 85) If you say something and want to take it back, you say "db-author".
 * 86) Strangers know you better than your own wife thanks to userboxes.
 * 87) You consider WikiAdmins your best friends.
 * 88) You have attended, or regularly attend, Wikimania.
 * 89) You constantly reach for the discussion tag every time you disagree with a website.
 * 90) When you start wondering why all internet pages seem to have the same background... and the same logo, the same font, the same links and the same address.
 * 91) You meet the RfA Candidates Song's description.
 * 92) You live in a Wikipedia server.
 * 93) You only curse on Wikipedia because it isn't censored.
 * 94) You dropped out of school to contribute 24/7.
 * 95) You think metaphysics is the study of Wiki-policy.
 * 96) Wiki-you wiki-can't wiki-stop wiki-adding wiki-these wiki-prefixes wiki-to wiki-every wiki-word wiki-you wiki-say.
 * 97) You don't pay taxes because you donated so much money to Wikimedia.
 * 98) You vote neutral on a presidential election because polling isn't a substitute for discussion.
 * 99) You bookmarked every single Wikipedia page.
 * 100) You married a Wikipedian, but divorced because of differing views on notability.
 * 101) You have nothing else to do other than contribute to this list.
 * 102) You created a single-purpose account just to edit this list.
 * 103) Uncle Jimbo is on your Wikipedian recruitment poster.
 * 104) You list Wikipedia as your religion in response to Jedi census phenomenon.
 * 105) Whenever you write a title to anything, you draw in the Wikipedia globe on the left of it.
 * 106) When you monitor pages, the game you play is "War-cruft."

Section Two

 * 1) You tell your sister she'll get a ban if she sits in the bathroom too long.
 * 2) You never play with sock puppets.
 * 3) You revert faster manually than with Vandal Sniper or popups.
 * 4) You set up a Wikipedian evangelization channel on TV.
 * 5) You wrote the 100th item on this list.
 * 6) Your first stops when you first check Wikipedia in the morning are to WP:DRV, WP:MFD and WP:ANI just to see what happened over night.
 * 7) When your house was robbed you reported it on WP:AIV instead of going to the Police.
 * 8) You are a librarian and still have more Userboxes than books.
 * 9) The last time someone told you that they hate Wikipedia, the only reason you were not charged with murder is that no one could find the body.
 * 10) The review on your last editor review was Oh dear God help us all.
 * 11) There are twelve bots watching your contributions in case you go rogue.
 * 12) You have so many pages on your watchlist that your browser crashes whenever you try to access it.
 * 13) You learned new languages just to be able to edit foreign language Wikipedias.
 * 14) Encyclopædia Britannica? What's that?
 * 15) You are going to endlessly bang your head on the wall for pressing the enter button without giving an edit summary (see history).
 * 16) You have more barnstars than your age.
 * 17) You always type with bold font.
 * 18) Your edit count has gone up to infinity.
 * 19) Even Chuck Norris can't pull off your edit count.
 * 20) You go to Wikipedia to drown your sorrows instead of drink alcohol.
 * 21) You now type at 900 wpm thanks to Wikipedia.
 * 22) If the only two things left on Earth were Wikipedia and a sexually inviting person, you'd choose Wikipedia.
 * 23) The only reason why you have such a low sperm count is because you keep editing Wikipedia with a laptop on your lap.
 * 24) You think that objects are not made of atoms, but actually made of Wikipedia logos.
 * 25) You think that Willy on Wheels stole those puzzle pieces from the Wikipedia logo.
 * 26) You don't care the President gave you his autograph; Jimbo still hasn't signed your page.
 * 27) You wrote the 123rd item on this list.
 * 28) You've gone through eight computer mice in one month.
 * 29) Your mother grounded you thinking you are spending your time on the computer watching porn, but you were really on this site.
 * 30) You believe your version of Heaven is being able to be on Wikipedia forever...
 * 31) ...while your personal Hell is being forced to read Uncyclopedia FOR ALL TIME!!!!
 * 32) You've thrown a party just because you reached the Wikipedia article by clicking Random article.
 * 33) Your dog is named Jimbo Wales.
 * 34) You use the      tabs more than you use your DVD player.
 * 35) You want to know why you can't find Wikifruits at the market, but you can find kiwifruits.
 * 36) You've actually had a Wikifruit.
 * 37) You've had your kids dress up as Wikipedia globes for Halloween.
 * 38) You're still reading this.
 * 39) You haven't left this computer for one week, and you stink!
 * 40) All the downloaded music in your computer is from the Commons.
 * 41) You bought your own auxiliary power generator for emergency Wikipedia editing.
 * 42) The only drug you take is WP:ACID.
 * 43) When you were bored, you used to read a book. Now you stare at your watchlist hitting Refresh every five seconds.
 * 44) Your friends are resigned to not understanding half of what you say.
 * 45) You plan to set up user accounts for your children the moment they can type.
 * 46) The only gambling you do is “Wikipedia Roulette”.
 * 47) You gave up going to movie theaters because they refused to show “Wikipedia the Movie”.
 * 48) When somebody says you're obnoxious, you reply, "OH NO! I forgot to put that on my userpage!".
 * 49) You use Wikipedia's Contact us button more than you use your phone.
 * 50) When you realize someone's been messing with your homework, you frantically start searching for the history button.
 * 51) You vandalise Uncyclopedia.
 * 52) You named your kid Admin.
 * 53) You've won a barnstar for having so many userboxes.
 * 54) You are a member of every Wikipedia.
 * 55) You are an administrator on every Wikipedia.
 * 56) You are an administrator of every wiki on the Web.
 * 57) You edit every article you come across when you click Random article.
 * 58) You're still reading this!
 * 59) You take your 3 year old daughter to the WP:SANDBOX to play.
 * 60) This is your idea of the Pledge of Allegiance:
 * ''I pledge allegiance
 * ''to the icon
 * ''of the Edited Articles of Wikipedia
 * ''and to the general Wikipedians
 * ''for which they edit
 * ''one encyclopedia
 * ''under Jimbo
 * ''invandalizable
 * ''with articles and media
 * ''for all.
 * 1) You have piercings of puzzle balls all over.
 * 2) You tried to find "history" on the common webpage, after it had changed.
 * 3) You think that you are Wikipedia and Wikipedia is you.
 * 4) You ceased to watch TV news because it doesn't have a NPOV policy.
 * 5) You think that the five pillars of Wikipedia preceded the Five pillars of Islam.
 * 6) You believe that NPOV is The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
 * 7) You believe that Wikipedia enlightened your life, while watching how your old friends are leaving you.
 * 8) You try to block someone in real life.
 * 9) You asked your government to recognize Wikipedians as a nation.
 * 10) ... you asked for that several times.
 * 11) You watch The Adventures of Wikipe-tan.
 * 12) You wear a sign: "Will Edit For Food."
 * 13) You don't take your children to ArbCom when they fight because it is a content dispute.
 * 14) You send thousands of spam emails about Wikipedia to random addresses.
 * 15) You write your thesis paper on Wikipedia.
 * 16) You write your thesis paper on Wikipedia in its own dedicated Wikipedia page.
 * 17) You try to find a college where you can major in Wikipedia editing.
 * 18) You find a college where you can do that and get a master degree.
 * 19) You spend time reading this article till this point.
 * 20) You notice that the above point was repeated over and over again.
 * 21) You wish you didn't need to use the Shift key to type the  symbol.
 * 22) You try to find the "Random Article" button in Encyclopædia Britannica.
 * 23) You try to change the names of newspaper articles to comply with Wikipedia's naming policy.
 * 24) You try to edit someone else's edit summaries.
 * 25) People complain that your Youtube videos of Wikipedia are too boring.
 * 26) Your user page became a Wikipedia Policy;
 * 27) The resulting controversy from this policy became notable enough to have an actual article;
 * 28) That article is on your watchlist, and has resulted in more than fourteen laws being made in the real world involving banning Wikipedia;
 * 29) You have broken this law, and another article was made about the case;
 * 30) You cited Wikipedia to defend yourself while being arrested.
 * 31) You try to add  to news articles which are too short.
 * 32) When you fix subjunctives on this list.
 * 33) You actually come to this point and read this whole page.
 * 34) You have memorized the unicode equivalents for the special characters found on the editing screen.
 * 35) Every desktop wallpaper you've ever had has been a picture from Commons.
 * 36) When a salesman tries to sell you a copy of Encyclopædia Britannica, you shut the door in his face, yelling, "Do I look like a traitor?"
 * 37) You cite Wikipedia articles as references on other Wikipedia articles.
 * 38) You have bought a new laptop just for editing Wikipedia.
 * 39) You type  [ ]  when you try to add an hyperlink.
 * 40) You celebrate whenever it's Green Week on RFA.
 * 41) You never cite Wikipedia articles as references on other Wikipedia articles because it's self-referencing.
 * 42) You'd rather edit wikipedia than be the richest man in the world.
 * 43) You edited the page on the richest man in the world, just because it was mentioned in this article.
 * 44) You feel annoyed by anyone who doesn't understand Wikipedia terms or Wiki markup.
 * 45) A co-worker will not let you work on a project that your team is supposed to be working on, and you suggest they read WP:OWN.
 * 46) You've been on the site for two years.
 * 47) You wrote the 200th statement on this page.
 * 48) You play "Rouge Squadron" instead of Rogue Squadron.
 * 49) You fail your major exams because you're addicted to editing a website that knows more than you.
 * 50) You have your birthday party at WP:FUN.
 * 51) You get annoyed when your screensaver kicks in while trying to read this page.
 * 52) You actually disabled your screensaver to read this page...
 * 53) ...and forgot to turn it back on.
 * 54) You have the Wikipedia logo set as your desktop (background) image.
 * 55) You have Wikipedia set as your default search engine.
 * 56) You attempt to use ProveIt when you have to add references to your essay.
 * 57) You have one or more Wikipedia tattoos.
 * 58) You create an official Wikipedia web browser.
 * 59) You start a Wikipedia cult new religious movement.
 * 60) You were the first member of Wikipedia.
 * 61) You spent all your money on Wikipedia merchandise.
 * 62) You actually felt the need to add to this list.
 * 63) You took sewing classes just so you can make your own Wikipedia clothes.
 * 64) Wikipedia is the only website you ever go to.
 * 65) Wikipedia is the only thing you do with your computer.
 * 66) Your desktop is covered with Wikipedia search widgets.
 * 67) Your keyboard is completely worn out due to Wikipedia.
 * 68) You know exactly how many edits you've made.
 * 69) You spend twenty minutes thinking of something witty to add to this page to find that all the good jokes have been used.
 * 70) You started a Wikipedia club at your school.
 * 71) Your fraternity/sorority uses Wikipedia (in a positive way!) for initiating new members.
 * 72) You have started to make an anime series starring Wikipe-tan.
 * 73) Upon reading the above you begin to pray to Jimbo Wales.
 * 74) You pull over into a parking lot in your car to hook onto the internet constantly when driving to avoid not editing Wikipedia for more than 5 minutes.
 * 75) Instead of saying, "Oh my God!", you say, "Oh my Jimbo!".
 * 76) You plan on making a Wikipedian nation, where Wikipedia is the official website and taking a point of view is illegal.
 * 77) You realize that such a nation is a paradox, since taking the view that taking a point of view is illegal is a POV and therefore should be illegal...
 * 78) You actually make Wikipedia The Movie.
 * 79) You wish that you could place  tags on your textbooks.
 * 80) You look for an 'edit' tag when browsing World Book Encyclopedia.
 * 81) You tell your coworkers to stop vandalizing emails.
 * 82) You report your coworkers to your boss on WP:AIV.
 * 83) You scribble  inside a copy of Don Quixote.
 * 84) You find that you have attempted to type WP:HOAX in an email to a friend when the friend has told you that a particular websites states that Hillary Clinton and Angelina Jolie are related.
 * 85) Whenever you see vandalism in real life, you look for the undo tab.
 * 86) You start the majority of your sentences with "According to Wikipedia..."
 * 87) You have an account on all languages on Wikipedia, but you only speak English.
 * 88) When somebody assumes you are insulting them, you say, "Hey! WP:AGF!"
 * 89) When emphasizing what you say, you stick three fingers up up to represent the bold quotations . Also, when making a point you make a hash symbol ( # ) with your fingers.
 * 90) Instead of telling people to Google something, you tell them to Wikipedia it.
 * 91) Al Gore sued you for overuse of fossil fuels powering your computer using Wikipedia.
 * 92) You attempt to send an email with Alt+Shift+S—the same key combo for saving a page on Wikipedia.
 * 93) You have this page watchlisted.
 * 94) You hate "Weird Al" Yankovic for causing the huge onslaught of vandalism on Atlantic Records with his video "White and Nerdy".
 * 95) You are a fan of "Weird Al" Yankovic just for mentioning Wikipedia.
 * 96) Your hobby is refreshing the Recent Changes page every 2 seconds and undoing recent vandalism.
 * 97) You unwittingly duplicated an entry in this page.
 * 98) You attempt to hold Wikimania in your own backyard.
 * 99) You hold the world record for highest broadband penetration from one computer because you have Wikipedia open in twenty tabs/windows.
 * 100) You have Wikimedia project pages open in 75 tabs/windows at once, and you have them all organized.
 * 101) You just crashed your computer trying to meet the above criterion.
 * 102) Despite crippling disease caused by lack of exercise, you still continue to type "You read this far down the page" items on this list.
 * 103) You made the above point just so you can have one more edit.
 * 104) While at your friend's house surfing the Internet, you finally realized how much stuff you have in your monobook.js/.css.
 * 105) You used this page for your book report...
 * 106) Or for use in writing a book.
 * 107) You take the Are You A Wikipediholic? Test, constantly trying to get a higher score by doing crazy tasks pertaining to questions, write your own, delete them, look on the recent changes page, panic, resort to cheating, and put an elephant-proof lock on your door. Phew. Then you read this criterion and scream because we're on to you. We know who you are, what you want and how paranoid you are, and we've got you a pet elephant...
 * 108) You understand this list.
 * 109) You have memorized this list.
 * 110) You have memorized this list backwards in three languages.
 * 111) You check this page everyday to make sure you will be the person adding the 1000th entry to this list.
 * 112) You took the current version of the wikipediholic test and recieved a score higher than Jimbo Wales. (Mine was above 50,000,000. And yes, my locks are elephant proof, nor am I ashamed to either add to this wikilist or to have read the whole wikithing.)
 * 113) Our Jimbo, Who Art In Wikipedia, Hallowed Be Thy Name. 'Nuf said.
 * 114) You will only date/marry another established Wikipedian.
 * 115) You create an account for your unborn/newborn child.
 * 116) You have accidentally used wikipedia code in html code.
 * 117) You call Coast To Coast AM to report that you edited the UFO article on Wikipedia as you are being abducted by aliens (!)
 * 118) You cover your bedroom/office cube/locker/ in userboxes you have printed off and cut out. When you die you leave a note asking people to break open your locker to insert the  template.
 * 119) You say to your partner/spouse: "So, the kids are still at school, and we have the house to ourselves. Do you want to ..... revert some vandalism?"
 * 120) Your idea of dirty talk is to reject the five pillars.
 * 121) You never stop contributing to this article.
 * 122) You wrote the 280th thing on this list.
 * 123) You read this whole thing!!!!!!!!!!!
 * 124) When your internet breaks down in the middle of editing, your head explodes.
 * 125) When the paper register comes round the class at school, you put your name... and four tildes.
 * 126) You memorised the entire Wikipedia in one day, and you check Recent changes every five minutes to memorise the latest additions.
 * 127) Because you memorised the entire site, you can tell immediately when the slightest thing has been changed.
 * 128) You changed the "crushing by elephant" rule on the Wikiholic test.
 * 129) You didn't change that rule, as your hands were sweating too much, and you couldn't get an elephant-proof lock because the locksmiths knew you wouldn't pay them as you don't go to work, and don't work from home either - well, not for money anyway, just for the gift of knowledge - and anyway they wouldn't serve such a freak.
 * 130) You have several therapists called in to see you by despairing family and friends.
 * 131) When you forget to log in, you are overcome with guilt and beg Jimbo to forgive you.
 * 132) You actually died a while ago because you didn't sleep at all, but instead of putting you in Heaven they kept you on Earth where you could still edit Wikipedia (with your new ghostly computer). Nobody touches you (their hand would go straight through you) because WP disease might rub off on them, so nobody else knows. And you don't know  because you haven't noticed anything different.
 * 133) You sign this page every time you edit it.
 * 134) Your face has acquired a faint glow due to hours spent in front of your computer.
 * 135) Your carbon footprint could cover the continent of Africa Asia.
 * 136) You end this list.
 * 137) Get out of Wikipedia! It's going to blow! That's what you say every time there's a storm.
 * 138) Only you know where any of the letters are on your keyboard.
 * 139) You've coded your own version of Internet Explorer just to edit Wikipedia.
 * 140) For the months that you have been on Wikipedia, your little brother has been watching you edit, and the rays of Wikipediholism that you are giving out have begun to affect him. He has asked your parents if he can get an account, and they say that he is not old enough. You tell your parents about that Wikipedia is the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit, but they won't listen and still say he can't have an account. You and your parents have to wrestle him off Special:CreateAccount because you didn't want him to have an account either because you thought he would vandalise your user page or worse, the whole encyclopedia. You wonder if he would have become the next big vandal had you let him get that account...
 * 141) You wrote that one above this one. But not the one down below.

Section Three

 * 1) When you make a grammar mistake on an essay, you try to find the "edit" button on your paper
 * 2) Whenever you find a reference to something, you try to cite it, and wind up messing up a movie theatre's screen doing this.
 * 3) You've lost $150 trying to meet the above criterion.
 * 4) Your last wish is for your computer/laptop to be buried with you so that you can edit Wikipedia from heaven.
 * 5) You killed yourself so that you could do so early.
 * 6) You are dead and you wrote an article on the nature of God and which religion is correct.
 * 7) You have sparked numerous conflicts due to Wikipedia.
 * 8) You have sparked two real life wars due to Wikipedia.
 * 9) You have slapped your spouse due to Wikipedia.
 * 10) You are losing friends exponentially due to Wikipedia.
 * 11) You have no friends due to Wikipedia.
 * 12) You regularly write "citation needed" in the margins of books, newspapers and magazines.
 * 13) You get stumped when you can't find the little blue edit markers in these places.
 * 14) Your most hated colour is red.
 * 15) You created a bot to edit Wikipedia.
 * 16) You created a Wikipedia in a whole new language.
 * 17) When you've finished your proper work, you go to WP:FUN.
 * 18) You use enough energy powering up your computer to explode the Solar System.
 * 19) If the universe ends in the Big Crunch, just before everything collapses, you will put a very short WP:STUB on it and put it on "Current events" on the Main Page and finally write on everyone's user page at lightning speed.
 * 20) You wrote a book on Wikipedia and called it "Main Page".
 * 21) You have sent countless letters to Oxford University to let "wiki-" become a real prefix...
 * 22) ...and you will murder anyone who tries to make "uncyclo-" a real prefix.
 * 23) Tu modifier le Wikipédia en tous les langues.
 * 24) You edit this page.
 * 25) You read to the 320th item on the list.
 * 26) You wrote the 320th item on the list.
 * 27) In maths worksheets, you try to insert exponents with undefined.
 * 28) You worship Jimbo Wales as your idol.
 * 29) You argue that his name should be "Jimmy Donal "Jimbo" Wales".
 * 30) You meet all of these criteria.
 * 31) You feel the need to meet all of these criteria.
 * 32) You feel guilty because you don't meet all of these criteria.
 * 33) You don't feel guilt, only Wikipediholism.
 * 34) You blame life's problems on Uncyclopedia.
 * 35) You learnt another language to edit that language's Wikipedia.
 * 36) You voluntarily turned yourself in at a police station because you broke 3RR.
 * 37) You never broke 3RR in the first place, because you would then have to go to uncyclo-hell.
 * 38) You suddenly realise that you can't meet all of these criteria, because the last two contradict each other.
 * 39) This actually upsets you.
 * 40) You have read to the bottom of this list, but are strangely unashamed of yourself.
 * 41) When you see this page, you add; [ citation needed ] [ citation needed ]
 * 42) You made this list.
 * 43) You collapsed because you haven't used Wikipedia for ages (I Did).
 * 44) You construct a time machine just so you could see the 2001 edit histories.
 * 45) You invent a constructed language and call it Wikipedish.
 * 46) You end sentences with your signature.
 * 47) Your hands have evolved to have more fingers.
 * 48) When you do your homework, you add  July 2024 as the date.
 * 49) You mark all your school essays with.
 * 50) When you plan your essay with the computer, you add  to the top of the page.
 * 51) You start counting horses with infinite legs and watch barnstars before you sleep.
 * 52) You ask Donald Tsang for rollback rights.
 * 53) You wish XRL could be speedied per WP:SNOW.
 * 54) You think the Golden Bauhinia Awards should be replaced with the barnstar of national merit.
 * 55) You accuse Mary Ann Cotton of sockpuppetry, report her to AIV and SPI, then hope to get her blocked indefinitely.
 * 56) Whenever you bake cookies, you add the word 'WikiLove' on them.
 * 57) You add another rule on this list just to look important, even when deep down you actually can't think of anything..
 * 58) You make a wiki about Wikipedia.
 * 59) You make a wiki about the wiki you made about Wikipedia.
 * 60) If you dislike your food, you look for an edit tab on it.
 * 61) You try to edit your mouth to be able to burp the letters in Wikipedia.
 * 62) You hack the computers in the school district to make Wikipedia the only thing accessible.
 * 63) If you believe/did/read all these things, and are criticized by family/friends; you look for an edit tab on yourself or your family/friends.
 * 64) If you see a puma at the zoo and tell everyone, "I TOLD YOU A WIKIPUMA EXISTED!"
 * 65) If you read all the proposal archives, the Mfd archives, the Afd archives, and pretty much all the other archives.
 * 66) Your hobby is adding more stuff to this list.
 * 67) You've been on this website editing for nine hours straight and still have essays to write.
 * 68) You wrote rule 271 on this page.
 * 69) After taking the Are you a Wikipeidholic? Test, you find out that you have more points than Chuck Norris.
 * 70) After clicking the random page button 1,000,000 times.
 * 71) You give someone a whole essay, 500 pages, on WikiLove.
 * 72) You start using tags on your school essays.
 * 73) When someone gets up to leave, you tell them that if they navigate away, their changes might be lost.
 * 74) 'Sockpuppet' is a term of offense.
 * 75) You secretly celebrated the news that Britannica was going out of print.
 * 76) You stress out when someone continually removes speedy deletion templates from their pages.
 * 77) Everything you know comes from Wikipedia.
 * 78) When someone says something that you know it's wrong (because of Wikipedia), you immediately load on your mobile phone with Internet access (which you've bought just to access Wikipedia when you're out) the Wikipedia article about what they were saying, and show them they're wrong.
 * 79) If they doubt the credibility of that information, you immediately show them the sources for those statements on the Internet.
 * 80) You get really upset when you find out the sources are actually books you don't have with you, or websites in languages you can't read.
 * 81) Or maybe you can, because you have learnt several languages just so you'd be able to edit Wikipedia in several languages.
 * 82) You can actually fluently speak every single language that has a Wikipedia.
 * 83) You looked for a language that still hadn't a Wikipedia, became fluent, created a Wikipedia for it, and you now actively edit it.
 * 84) When you write a list with topics, you use * instead of the normal central dot.
 * 85) When you write a numbered list, you use # before each topic.
 * 86) And then, when you want to know how many points you've created, you search for the "Show preview" button on the under side of the page.
 * 87) You've memorised the five pillars of Wikipedia, and you daily meditate on them, day and night!
 * 88) Every day in the morning, when you wake up, the first thing you do is turn on your computer and open Wikipedia's Main Page, where you read everything that's in there.
 * 89) Every day, you bombard your friends with facts from that day's Wikipedia's "Did you know...?" section on the Main Page.
 * 90) You only know what's going on in the world through the Main Page section "In the news".
 * 91) When someone tells you that many people say that you are annoying because of Wikipedia, and you have to spend less time on it, you shout: "Weasel word! Weasel word!", and ask them for a reliable source for that statement.
 * 92) When you edit Wikipedia, you get upset when you find out, after clicking the "Show preview" button, that one of your links is red.
 * 93) Upon learning this, you immediately check the link to make sure that you didn't misspell something, and then research the topic of the red link for four hours in order to write an article about it.
 * 94) You go really crazy when you realise you've just saved your page without first watching its preview.
 * 95) You're still reading this list.
 * 96) You're thinking if any of the symptoms previously indicated may actually apply to your life.
 * 97) You're wondering if anyone else has ever noticed anything strange about your behaviour that may have been caused by Wikipedia.
 * 98) You don't care if anyone else has ever noticed anything strange about your behaviour that may have been caused by Wikipedia.
 * 99) You are proud of the strange behaviors caused by Wikipedia.
 * 100) All the music you've ever heard is in Commons.
 * 101) When you have nothing to do, you just press the "Random article" button, read and edit whatever page you come upon.
 * 102) You wrote the 400th thing on this list (Oh no! Wait! You can't have done that... because I have just done it! Ha ha!)
 * 103) You take pride in adding an entry above the previous one, thus making the above statement a lie.
 * 104) You are more concerned about Wikipedia than your country's politics.
 * 105) You are more concerned about Wikipedia than paying for groceries.
 * 106) You're more concerned about Wikipedia than with anything else.
 * 107) Your worst nightmare is that someday the creators of Uncyclopedia might win a fateful battle with the creators of Wikipedia, and you, like all other members of Wikipedia, will have to work like a slave for them!
 * 108) You're afraid that someone may put an end to Wikipedia.
 * 109) On your universal Wikia userpage, you put your Wikipedia userpage as your website.
 * 110) You couldn't edit Uncyclopedia to save your life.
 * 111) You DDOS Every wiki on the web so Wikipedia doesn't have any competition.
 * 112) You were forced to apologize to the Wikimedia Foundation when your DDOS attacks on every other wiki project caused friendly fire against Wikipedia's sister projects.
 * 113) You say "Uncyclopedia" as if it was a cuss word.
 * 114) You believe Heaven is Wikipedia, and Hell is Uncyclopedia.
 * 115) You Vandalize this list.
 * 116) You corrected a grammatical error on the 129th item on this list.
 * 117) You actually read Wikipedia Articles all the way through, for fun! :D
 * 118) You Actually read through the whole list instead of skipping through.
 * 119) You join a simulation in which you can edit WP articles 24 hours a day.
 * 120) You modify that simulation so that there are more than 24 hours in a day.
 * 121) When time travel is invented, you plan on going to January 15, 2001 to witness the Wikipedia servers being turned on for the first time.
 * 122) You revert vandalism on this list.
 * 123) You realize that a link is only red because you forgot to finish creating the article 10 tabs to the left.
 * 124) When you found all the the typos.
 * 125) When you find out it was the turkey that crossed the road.
 * 126) When you are watching a YouTube video and there's something wrong in it, you look for the "edit" button.
 * 127) You stopped watching YouTube because you can't edit it.
 * 128) Plus, how many videos are written from a neutral point of view there?
 * 129) YouTube? What's that?
 * 130) When someone posts something on social media that is wrong, then you try to edit it.
 * 131) You are not sad that you have no friends, you have Wikipedia!
 * 132) You don't even remember the friends for whom you are not sad that they left because you spend all your time on Wikipedia.
 * 133) You feel tempted to edit this list to get rid of all the duplicate entries.
 * 134) You felt the need to go back and check what the 129th item on this list was because the 415th item referenced it, then got annoyed because the 129th item was inappropriate and you had already forgotten because you actually took the time to read the whole list.
 * 135) You start worrying that you might have violated WP:BEANS by writing the second-to-last item before this one... and by writing the last entry before this one.
 * 136) You simply cannot convince yourself that the previous item is nothing but paranoia.
 * 137) You stopped using numbers to refer to items in this list because you're afraid that someone will edit the article in such a way that those numbers will no longer be accurate.
 * 138) You're making edits when it's 2:30am in your time zone.
 * 139) It's 2:30am in your time zone right now.
 * 140) You're adding to this list at 2:30am in your time zone.
 * 141) You feel compelled to add just one more entry so that the list can end with a nice, round number (and you will throw a fit — or worse — if anyone does anything that causes this entry to cease to be the 440th, and don't stuff beans up your nose, people).
 * 142) You refer to articles in the WP namespace with WP:SHORT cuts way too often.
 * 143) You find that your urge to add to this list has overpowered the resolve to stop that you expressed in your last edit summary.
 * 144) You find that, by giving into said urge, you have ruined the nice, round number where you wanted to stop.
 * 145) You realize that you have added not one, not three, not five, but thirteen consecutive items to this list!  (...and you have to stop here if you want another round number.)
 * 146) You procrastinate on schoolwork by adding pointless things to pointless lists on pointless articles in a pointless part of Wikipedia. Surely there are better things to do, and you’ll probably regret it later, but why not?
 * 147) You happen to be a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
 * 148) The meaning of Christmas to you is a few days off to spend editing Wikipedia.
 * 149) You know more than all your friends combined, yet can’t seem to figure out where you are after logging off of Wikipedia.
 * 150) (corollary) But you have no friends.
 * 151) You’re polylingual, but only so that you can edit Wikipedia in every language.
 * 152) You learned these languages at Wikibooks.
 * 153) The only thing you own is your computer, because you sold everything else for money to donate to Wikimedia.
 * 154) You live at your local library because of #152 but mostly because they have sources for Wikipedia articles and free WiFi.
 * 155) A single item somehow multiplies into ten, despite good intentions. Have you fed them after midnight?
 * 156) You learned LaTeX so you could write all your math in tags.
 * 157) You are bothered when a Wikilink is nonexistent, like this one, for example
 * 158) You actually did climb the Reichstag building dressed as Spider-Man over an Edit War.
 * 159) You bothered to add those two templates to the term above.
 * 160) You assume all times are in UTC.
 * 161) The only words you know are "Citation", "wiki", "vandalism", "edit", and "war".
 * 162) You convert any times to UTC.
 * 163) When you see an editor retire, you cry more than you do at a funeral.
 * 164) When an editor dies, it is sadder for you than if a family member died.
 * 165) You constantly argue with people on why Wikipedia is more reliable than they think it is.
 * 166) You get mad at the librarians for not letting you edit the books with inaccuracies