User:Whizkid32/Sina Shamsavari/Elid 389 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Whizkid32


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Whizkid32/Sina_Shamsavari?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * Lead
 * The lead is concise and not overly detailed while still containing the information that is later presenting in the wiki page. You did a good job of making it clear why Sina Shamsavari is notable and had a strong introductory sentence.
 * Content
 * The content was overall really great and proved itself to be consistently relevant and up-to-date.
 * I would find a way to rephrase this to make it sound slightly more professional, if that makes sense - "Growing up during a time where homophobia was prevalent"
 * Tone and Balance
 * I think you do a very good job of balancing keeping a neutral tone while also expressing what makes this individual notable and interesting.
 * Sources and References
 * I think pretty much everything is backed up by sources. There are a few things included that are a little more general that I feel might benefit from some citations and references just to ensure there's no issues of credibility, but I overall I think it's really strong in this area. All the links I checked worked :)
 * Organization
 * I think your organization is perfect. The only area I recommend consider moving around a little bit is your notable works area. If you're gonna add more, it should end up great, but if you're going to leave that amount, I would find another way to format it so it doesn't look like such a short list, which might hurt the credibility a bit. Besides that, really great!
 * Images and Media
 * So, I'm trying to figure out how to work around copy-writed images myself, but if you can figure it out, an image of his characters or something would be really cool to add!
 * For New Articles
 * I think you'll need more sources overall, but for this far into the project I think you have a great amount and are satisfying the notability requirement!
 * Overall Impressions
 * Overall, I think you're doing really well. I think once you add some more information, like images and some new sources, it's going to be really really great. The article does feel like it needs a bit more, but I think that's more so a consequence of having more time to finish the project than not having any other information. Good luck for the rest of the project! You're doing great!