User:WikiEditor1121/Throw-away society/Maisystarr Peer Review

NOTE FROM COURSE INSTRUCTOR: I agree that with this really thoughtful and thorough review. A few places where it could be improved further - especially in terms of providing some data to support claims of the amount of waste being produced by fast fashion. This also might help with some of the places where the tone feels more "original research," in part because it isn't being supported by external sources. Otherwise, an important contribution to this article.

I enjoy your contribution to the Throw-away society article and I think it's a very important section to add. I think it was really great that you talk about style obsolescence and define it for people. I have some suggestions based on my reading but I think you're doing good.

Lead
I like how the first sentence of your addition is defining fast fashion. This is a good way to start this section but I think the structure of the sentence could be edited. I think it could be broken up into two sentences to help with flow.

Content
I think the content added is definitely relevant to the article. Fast fashion is a main contributor to our throw away society. It looks like your sources are pretty current and it looks like your data is up to date. I don't see anything that seems out of date. I think something that is potentially missing is some statistics or studies that could factually back up what you're saying. You mention millions on tons of textiles end up in landfills or end up in second hand markets, I wonder if there's any specific examples of this that you could source or something.

Tone and Balance
At times, it feels like original research. Even though I know what you're saying is true, the way it's worded seems like you're stating opinions as facts. This is where I think statistics or something would be useful because it's direct fact to pull from and prove your points. I think some wording could just be adjusted. Instead of "therefore" you could say "In react to this", and then have some proof of what your saying. Like if you're saying it causes consumption and waste of clothing to skyrocket, I would see if there's any statistics that reflect that. You also say that "fast fashion is sold at a lower cost and is therefore more appealing to lower income families". This connection seems like original research because you're not giving us any information that reflects this.

Sources and References
Your current sources seem pretty good. They look like they're mostly from recent years and the one that seems older is from Oxford Journal which is super reputable. I do wonder if there's any more academic journals or studies that talk about fast fashion. I feel like there probably is because it's such a current topic. If you could find anything like that I think it would really strengthen what you've got.

Organization
The 3 different sections seem appropriate for the contents. I would just say that flow could be improved. There were just a few spots I got tripped up on. Maybe try reading it out loud to feel the flow.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

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 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)