User:WildButLoyalNugget/sandbox

= Mike Condit = From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Mike Condit (born in November) is an American comedian, future Chopped competitor, dancer, artist, and meme and vine connoisseur. He is best known for being overwhelmingly entertaining to his friends and a ridiculously wonderful human being.

Description
Mike Condit is the most perfect person in the world. Not only is he unbelievably attractive, and good at literally everything he does, but he also has the best personality. He is absolutely hilarious and makes anyone who hangs out with him laugh until their stomach aches. He has the best comebacks and there isn't a person on Earth as clever as he is. His roasts are top notch and his friendly insults are fire. He is somehow always considerate of others and puts other peoples feelings above his. He isn't selfish at all and will do anything for a friend. He appears to have endless patience and an extremely high tolerance, especially when it comes to annoying Caroline antics. He is honestly almost too smart. He is so talented and a really good singer. He creates the funniest memes and can think of a hilarious caption for any picture. Mike is the sweetest, most thoughtful boyfriend too. He does nice things for no reason. He makes everyone he talks to 100 times happier than they were before. Anyone who knows him is beyond lucky. He's so much better, and so much more important, than he thinks he is. He deserves all of the happiness and goodness in the world, and nothing less. He inspires people to be better and do better. There aren't enough positive adjectives in the world to describe Mike. He's the motherfucking greatest.

Early Life
Mike Condit was raised Catholic, like super duper Catholic. The most Catholic. Poor poor repressed bb. He was also viciously attacked by a demon chihuahua and traumatized by a neighbor who threw him into some shrubbery. He is still recovering to this day.

Personal Life
Mike Condit was average in every way until July 6th, 2018. This is when the epic love story begins. On that night, he might some psycho named Caroline and nothing would ever be the same. She was an awful bitch and fucked up a lot, so even though they had fun together, Mike had to go on sabbatical for a bit. After a few months, both Caroline and Mike missed each other wayyyy too much, and got back together. Ever since then, they've been the happiest couple and love each other very very much. Mike says he is obsessed with Caroline, but Caroline knows she is even more obsessed with Mike. They're adorable.

Influences
Mike Condit has cited Chris D'Elia, Roy Purdy, and Marky Mark as major influences in his life.

Awards and Achievements
Some of Mike's achievements include being #boyfriendgoals, being an excellent positive male role model for Guppy, putting up with Caroline, and quickly memorizing League of Legends champions despite not playing the game.

Fun Facts

 * 1) Mike completely changed Caroline's life for the better.
 * 2) Caroline doesn't know where or who she would be without Mike.
 * 3) Mike is Caroline's favorite person ever.
 * 4) Mike has prevented Caroline from getting a concussion and a lot of bruises.
 * 5) Mike is very photogenic.
 * 6) Mike is significantly better at taking pictures than 99% of the male population.
 * 7) Mike is the perfect size.