User:Winter is coming567/Hōei eruption-PM/Mymywg Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

winter is coming567


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User Winter%20is%20coming567/Hōei_eruption-PM?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Hōei eruption

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer? No, in the lead there is not reference to the cause of the eruption. Include a sentence to introduce the topic of the cause of the eruption.

Content


 * i s the content added relevant to the topic? Yes, so far added content is relevant to the topic. The "cause of Hoei Eruption" is a relevant addition to the Hoei eruption article. It is interesting information from an earth science perspective to add.


 * is the content added up-to-date? The content refers to the correct time period the event occurred. This article was published relatively recently in 2012. This is beneficial because with new technology the findings can be more accurate and backed up by new evidence.


 * is there content that is missing or content that does not belong? With my understanding of how volcanos work, I think some background as to how volcanos work or a link to an existing wiki article about the volcanism process would be beneficial. The information given was a bit hard for me to understand.
 * does the article deal with one of wiki equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics? Yes, this natural disaster occurs in a country outside of North America. Most information on wiki articles are regarding the United States and Canada. Information about experiences in Japan are not as covered.

Tone and Balance

Source and References
 * Is the content added neutral? Yes, the content is neutral. You used the word "hypothesized" which is not stating a proven fact which avoids controversy. Everything stated is information regarding the topic that without the intention of persuading the reader of a controversial conclusion.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented? The section Affects on Local Population is smaller than Cause of the Hoei Eruption. The affects of the local Japanese people would use more coverage. If there is another opinion as to the cause of the Hoe Eruption, this can be included.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another? No, the added content does not persuade the reader in factor of a position. The editor clarifies the information stated is a hypothesis and the reader should keep in mind other processes not covered could also be reason for the eruption to occur.


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information? Yes, the source is a reliable secondary source. It seems like it is published from Harvard University in 2012.
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? Yes, the article does accurately reflect what the cited source say. I would recommend use more understandable terms for the common reader that does not have the same amount of earth science knowledge as an earth science major.
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic? Yes, I found more sources that have all ben published at an earlier date. Therefore, the source used is the most recent. The information contains in the 1 reference does cover the added topic.
 * Are the sources current? Yes, the source is as current as there is.
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible? The primary author is a woman so they do include a historically marginalized individual. There was only 1 reference so not much to evaluate.
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? There is an article called "Underground Primary Succession of Ectomycorrhizal Fungi in a Volcanic Desert on Mount Fuji" that mentions Hoei Eruption by Kazuhide Nara who is from the University of Tokyo. It would be beneficial gaining incite from a person from a Japanese science educator. Additionally, the article Making Mountains: Mini-Fujis, Edo Popular Religion and Hiroshige's "One Hundred Famous Views of Edo" by Melinda Takeuchi. For some more background, it mentions the significance of the Mount Hōei. These might be off topic for your section you're adding but this could be used for a background or significance of Hōei. Additionally, the sources below can be referred to for additional information to backup your added facts regarding causes of volcanic eruptions. Something interesting that can be added is how this eruption can affect global temperatures.
 * Hansell, A. L., et al. “Education: The Health Hazards of Volcanoes and Geothermal Areas.” Occupational and Environmental Medicine, vol. 63, no. 2, 2006, pp. 149–56. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/27732689 . Accessed 9 Mar. 2023.
 * Thompson, Russell D. “Volcanic Eruptions and Global Temperatures.” Ambio, vol. 24, no. 5, 1995, pp. 320–21. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/4314357 . Accessed 9 Mar. 2023.
 * Check a few links. Do they work? No, the link does not work. You should add more as well.

Organization


 * Is the content added well-written? For the most part it is, however, I would like to point out some possible improvements.
 * I recommend staying consistent with how you address kilometres. You use "twenty kilometres" and in another paragraph "8 km in depth". Personally, I recommend doing using "20 kilometres" or "20 km" format because it's easier to read.
 * I'm not sure what dacitic and andesitic means. Maybe add a brief explanation or make the word a link to a related wikipedi article. I would apply this same strategy for any other words that are not common knowledge.
 * "The latter caused magma expansion due to the "vesiculation" of the now-mixed magma, allowing it to travel to the surface of Mount Fuji." When you referred to the latter, by the time I got to this point I forgot what the latter was. I recommend explicitly saying what you're referring to.
 * Use more sources for this large chunk of the article. It will make your added information more credible. The sources can be referring to general articles about causes of volcanic eruptions, doesn't have to be specific to the Hōei Eruption. Refer to suggested sources to add in the "source and reference" section.
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors? There is a grammatical error in the sentence "processes which played a part in bringing about the eruption." It should be "processes that played a part in bringing about the eruption."
 * is the content added well-organized? Yes, it is well organized. It is in a logical order to describe what events lead to the Hoei eruption.

Overall Impressions

Additional Questions
 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article? Yes, the additional information about the volcanic eruption does improve the quality of the Hoei Eruption. It is relevant information to add to the summary of this event.
 * What are the strengths of the content added? The additional science information to provide more background on the entire event is useful to a further understanding on the specific natural phenomenon.

- Maya Wong
 * Does your peer have 5-7 reliable sources? No, you have 1. Please add more as suggested in reference and source section.
 * Does the topic link in some way to our course material? Yes, it has to do with earth science. However, you might want to add more about how this has affected humans and their resources.
 * Does your peer add historical context to their article? Yes, you add previous earthquakes that lead up to the eruption. This is historical context required to answer the question, "what caused the Hoei eruption?"
 * Based on what you know from course content, what do you think Wikipedia users should know about this topic? How does this affect the local people and their resources or the entire world (global temperatures)? Refer to the references and sources section where I recommended additional articles. The course focuses more on the relationship of the environment with people (Human Resources, therefore things we use and interact with). Therefore, the history Hoei can provide more insight to the significance and how it affects peoples way of life.