User:WiseBear90

The Life of "Wise Bear"
    My name, is not Wise Bear. Though, it is my native american name. I am creating this page, cause I have the urge, to tell my life story, from birth up to this day in time. So let's start with where I am currently. I am a 18 year old male, living in the state of Washington. I currently have a girlfriend, who I consider my fiance. Though, you will learn more about that later. I am currently living with my dad, step mom, and two younger adopted sisters. Well, I guess we should start?

    I was born in Seattle, through ceasection. Though, the doctors realized, that I would have to be ceasectioned, as my cord, was wraped three times around my neck. I was dead when I had came out, no noise, no movement, nothing. Though, here I stand, so I must thank those doctors, who have made it so I stand here today.

    As I was growing up, I was un-aware that my parents were fighting on a constant basis. My mother and father had divorced when I was young. Though, my dad is surprised that I remember his move out of the house so well. Throughout the next couple of years, both my dad and my mom had re-married. I took it quite well with my step-mom apparently, though, had a bit of a harder time adjusting to living with my step-dad. Again, I was young, so it wasn't too hard to get used to. I was around the age of 6 or 7 when they had remarried.

    I had always loved helping people. I had first noticed it in fourth grade, that it had made me feel better, when people were able to talk to me about their problems, or about what was bugging them. And that I was able to make them feel better. I was at recess, when there was a boy, sitting by himself on top of the little hill, at the elementry, right in front of the track/feild. So I went over to him, and asked him why he was by himself. I can't remember what it was he had said, though somehow, whatever I had said in reply, had put a smile on him, and he was off having fun at recess.

    When I was eleven, my mom told me, that my step-dad's job was moving to Georgia. And that, it was my choice either to live in Ga, with my 2 year old sister, my mom, and my step dad, or that I could live with my dad and step mom here in Washington. At that time, I didn't want to leave my mom. So I had moved to Georgia in 2001.

    My first few months in Georgia, absolutly sucked. So I thought. There were these two girls who had always picked on me, and bullied me. And I absolutly hated it. My 5th grade teacher, had a thing, were if you didn't do all your work, or didn't turn in your homework, that you would sit at the silent table. So I had liked the silent table, it was away from the bullies. I made sure, that I could sit at the silent table, as much as possible. THough the teacher finally caught on, and then made me sit at the silent table, for I was at that table for over 2 weeks straight. Well, the day she had made me sit at the normal lunch table, was the day, that this one girl, named Meaghan, had stood up for me, against the two girls who were picking on me. I couldn't believe what she had done for me. It was one of the most amazing things I ever saw someone do for me. So, still even to this day, I consider her my hero.

    Ever since I could remember, I had always had 'girlfriends'. Ever since kindergarden, but I don't find that they really count. Though, with my first real girlfriend, her name was Julia. And I thought I was in love. I now honestly can't remember what year of the summer it was. Though, I can say, it had to be sometime around my 7th to 8th grade summer. I had thought everything was perfect. She was my first actual kiss. We had kissed at a boat launch at Lake Lanier in Georgia. That summer, I had gone to Washington to visit my dad. We had gone camping. One night, I had gotten a call, that one of our friends had kissed her. She asked if I was angry with her, and I wasn't. So I had told her I wasn't. She either didn't believe me, or had just wanted out of the relationship. So she had left me, and then I had later found out, that she was going out with the guy.

    There was an incident though, where I had gone to the movie theaters with my friend Landon, and we had met up with some girls. Two girls. Well, to cut the story as short as I can, me and one of the girls made out. This was in the middle of 7th grade. But when the movie was over, and we had walked out of the theatre, she had looked at me, and basicly said, "Oh sh*t, no. Not you!" Sorta deal. Like, I can't believe I just made out with an uncool kid. Found out though, that she was apparently high off weed.

<P>    I had attended Collins Hill High School, my freshmen, and half my sophmore year, I had goofed around. And extremly messed up my high school path to graduating on time. But I had still wanted to attend CHHS.</P>

<P>    As I continued to grow up, when I reached age 16, I had noticed, there was something wrong with a conflict between my mother and father. For my mother had said many things about my father. Not all so good. And my dad, he never spoke of my mother. But when he did, it was always: "She is just trying to do, what she thinks is best for you, cause she loves you". So I started realizing, that not everything added up. And there was only one way to find out who was lying to me, and who was being truthful. And that was to move.</P> <P>    I had decided to move on a few reasons. One, there was a better hope of me graduating on time here in Washington. Two, I had wished to find out who was the truthful one. And three, well, I was 16, and had never lived with my dad for as long as my memory has a record of. So I started living here in Washington. A few months prior, my dad and step-mother had adopted two girls. So it made home feel, less like home.</P>

<P>    I started drivers ed right away as I got here. Got enrolled into classes at the high school. And after my first summer vacation in Ga, I had my drivers license. It felt good to be independent. </P> <P>    Though, when I had moved into Washington. I got a girlfriend, named Kara. I had thought things were going good. I knew she smoked cigerates, but she told me she would stop for me. Behind my back though, she had told people, that I had proposed to her. Though, I never did. I did however give her a $25 ring, that my mom got me for christmas. Which, prior girls have also worn. To show that she was important to me. She had also not only did that though, but she cheated on me, had sex with other guys, did meth with her mom, and weed. So the ENTIRE relationship, was a lie. So I had left her.</P>

<P>    When I came back to Washington, from my sumer break. I was driving around, and like I said, loved the independancy. Though, I felt I was too much independent. For I at the time, didn't really have the closests friends ever. And I felt alone. One night, I had stayed up late on the net, myspace to be exact. Where this most wonderful girl, Sarah, who at the time, I thought was brave for what she had done. Over myspace, she had posted a bullentin, in the school myspace page. Saying how she was mosing from California, and that if anyone wished, they could show her around. So, I had realized, that she had put her hand out, with her eyes closed. Which I thought was brave. Well, I had wanted to get her into the right crowd, and show her around.</P> <P>    So I had replied, a few days later, she is at the school, and we were texting, to try to meet one another in person. I was a bit scared. For I had no idea, what this person was going to be like. Just to find out, she is the most amazingly wonderful caring kind hearted, fun to be around person in the entire earth that has ever to of been born in the universe. That day, I had asked her, if she had wanted to goto the school football game with me. THough i didn't watch football. But we ended up, talking the entire time. We had such a blast I think. Well, later that night, we were in my step-mom's car, parked in a parking spot. We kept talking, and we had realized, that we could communicate so well. And that it was so odd, that we could trust each other so much, when we had knew so little about each other. Well, I had asked her out, at 10:47, and we kissed. WE had decided, to get out of the car, before her mom came. So her mom came, and Sarah gave me the most caring hug I had felt in, well, never. I walked in the homecoming dance, right as it was over, and everyone was walking out.</P>

<P>Being with her, was like nothing imaginable. She has made me feel so alive, so happy, so loved, so wanted, just everything that I need to live. And she is everything that I wish to live for. I am jealous of her. Her being so perfect in everyway possible. She is, the absolute one for me, and I know that there isn't a doubt about it. I don't think, that there has ever been such a love, as the love in which we once had with each other. She was my everything. She taught me many things. Most times, I am the one, trying to get people to love themselves for who they are, and she made me realize, that I didn't even love myself. Though, being with her, I have learned to love myself. But I could never love anyone, as much as I do her.</P>

<P>I wish to give her everything. I wish to be able, to give her happiness, that will last her entire life, and afterlife. I wish marry this girl. This wonderful, beautiful young women. I wish to give her, all that I can give. She has no idea just how much I love her, and she never will. She will never understand. For of my own fault</P>

<P>I was so greatly happy with her, but one day, I was hurt, and lost, and felt lonely. And I did something, which I greatly regret. I had cheated on her. I had gone to my best friends house, and we somehow kissed What was even worse, we made out. Also the fact, the next day, it had happened again. But only as far as a kissed. And I know, that deep down, I can never forgive myself. For I have hurt Sarah so terribly. That I know I don't deserve her. But if she says, that I can make her happy. Than I shall continue with all my might, to make her happy. I know, that I have f*cked up, with showing that I was commited. But the thing is, after all the pain I have caused her, I find myself dedicated to her for life. And that there would never be a even slightest chance, of anything happening again.</P>

<P>For I hate myself, for what I have done. And how I can never take it back. And how night after night, I worry, if she is going to leave me. She is all I think about day in, and day out. And even in my sleep. There is no way around that. There is no way around the fact, that forever, I shall always love her. She is my first, and only love I ever wish to have. And even if she does end up leaving me, I shall prove myself to her. I know now, that I could never be with ANYONE ELSE!</P>

<P>I have given all that I could give to Sarah. Everything but my true commitment from what had happened. THough, I believe that she deserves true commitment, and though she may not be able to see it now, I hope one day she can see it.</P>

<P>I shall always be there for her, as she was always there for me when I needed her most. She is so true. So...heavenly, she is my angel, and I, and I have cliped her wings. To my deathbed, Sarah's name, shall be engraved into my heart.</P>

<P> I shall never forget, the day that I met Sarah. I shall never forget, all the great memories I have with her. I shall never forget, the day we hopped the buses to movies for the first time. I shall never forget, all the times we babysat together. I shall never forget my 18th birthday, and how she made it the best birthday, I could ever have. She gave me everything I could ever ask for, and oh so much more. And I wish to do the same.</P>

<P>And Sarah if you are reading this, I am so greatly, truly sorry for everything that has happened, that has goned wrong. I believe you have every right to be mad at me. Every right to hate me. Every right, to leave me, for someone who you can trust.</P>

<P> And as to this day? Well, I am currently still with Sarah. OR So I believe. She is what gets me by each day. She is what keeps me going. But, I am still currently attending the high school in Washington, and I work for a car dealership, doing rentals. And I am still saving up money for a country long road trip. :)</P>

<P>For this, is how my life currently is. And this is what I believe, are the main points upon my life. If you wish to know me, then you should know all that I have put above. I shall leave that, to that.</P>

-Wise Bear (talk) 20:31, 4 October 2008 (UTC)