User:Wittysage

I was born on the marble floor of a log cabin during breakfast; making me of legal drinking age.

I enjoy outdoor activities like startling skunks and selling stuff on EBay that people wont’ buy at a garage sale. My dream is to open a five-star tanning salon in the Paris Hilton.

I learned the martial arts from the only one legged, blind Archer I’ve ever known. Like my sensei, I feel that if you find the right vocation, you should try mayonnaise on a hot dog.

I work as programmer and part time telemarketer for a hydro colonic spa in Nashville Tennessee. Calling people at dinner time to discuss evacuating their bowls has helped me immensely with the online dating scene.

I was baptized as a Protestant Buddhist, circumcised by a freelance Mohel and spent the first years of my life sequestered in a monastery, so I consider myself religious but not spiritual. My plumber thinks I should find a more happy-go-lucky sect.

I’m generally not a “club” person, but sometimes I’ll dress up in my best Knights Armor and hit the line dancing circuit. I love traveling and often request the middle seat and cry during long flights.

Since I got out of the Navy, life has been about taking advantage of all of the things I could not have on a ship full of men like sleeping with a 350 Watt night light.

Although I love to read, since I’m illiterate I don’t get to do it very often.

My therapist tells me that I need to relax more. By the way my shrink is driving me nuts. Is it still paranoia if they really are out to get you?

I’ve been told that I’m good looking, sexy, have great legs, am fun to be with and have an exceptional wit. But she may have been saying those things to get me to eat my peas.

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