User:Wnfrase/Grand Canyon/Clhild Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Wnfrase


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Wnfrase/Grand_Canyon?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Grand Canyon

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think adding a climate change section to this article is a great idea. It has a lot of information already, but I didn't see much mention of the climate. I think the first sentence would sound better if it started with "Due to" instead of "Because of" and I'm not sure that "over the years" is necessary. The sentence that mentions the rainfall of the South Rim should include if it's 13 inches a year or season or something else. It could also be helpful to add why decreased precipitation is a problem. I think the word "that" should be removed from the last sentence to help it make sense. Overall I think the paragraph flows pretty well and it is all concise and relevant content. I tested the links to references and they all worked and looked good!