User:Woebegone/sandbox

Comments from Werónika
Thanks to for your hard work on this article. It's very well-written, interesting, and comprehensive. Good use of images in particular. Most of my comments are pretty minor—just grammar and stylistic fixes. Featured article candidates
 * "and is located the edge of the village's Walter W. Law Memorial Park". Yikes, should probably be "and is located on the edge", no?
 * "sites including public school buildings". Should be "sites, including..."
 * "adding the section in which the library is housed today". So this implies that the actual library is only housed in a portion of the current building? Maybe clarify what the rest of the building houses in the lead.
 * "and an eight-member board of trustees was appointed". I don't usually mind passive voice, but this grates on me. Who appointed the board of trustees?
 * "which became 3,000 by 1926, approximately 6,000 by 1939, and by 1952, 8,000 volumes". This would sound better if written in parallel structure ("which became approximately 3,000 by 1926, 6,000 by 1939, and 8,000...").
 * "In 1988, the library's collections". Should be "by 1988."
 * "a present branch of the International Union of Operating Engineers". Do you mean that it was then used as the headquarters for that branch of the IUOE? Because when you write "a present branch," that could also mean that is the current function of the Briarcliff Farms office building.
 * "Desiring a larger and more centrally-located space... the library was relocated again". This prepositional phrase seems tonally off because it doesn't say who desired that space. I would consider rewriting, especially since it sounds awkward to pile all the prepositions in the front before the clause.
 * "on the second floor of its recreation building on Old Route 100 (then part of NY Route 100) near the village downtown." Fix the modifiers. You shouldn't say that Old Route 100 is near the village downtown unless it's true for the entire road.
 * "From the beginning, the..." Redundant, unless the recreation center rooms somehow became bigger later on. If it's true for the entire situation, you don't need to say that it happened from the beginning.
 * "(at the intersection of two highways[20])". Move the citation to the outside of the parenthesis. Also, this modifier seems awkwardly placed. Are you describing the area, or the traffic?
 * "and was thus hazardous to children". There's no need to include this specifically, because traffic can be hazardous to adults as well.
 * "...was busy with traffic... had no sidewalks nearby, and was far from the village's public school buildings." This sentence uses two "was's" and one "had", so you should combine the two verb objects together that use the same verb. e.g. "the area was busy with traffic and far from the village's public school buildings, and had no sidewalks nearby". It just makes the prose tighter.
 * "to be voted by referendum". Referendums are inherently decided by popular vote.
 * "and was not centrally located in the village". The wording is confusing. Would the library not be located in the center of the village, or would the library center (the main library) not be focused in the village?
 * "also in 1952, the village semicentennial history book notes the need for a permanent home for the library." Trivial fact not related to the library's history. I would take it out or put it somewhere else, especially since the sudden shift to present tense in the middle of the sentence was very distracting.
 * "The station had been built... In its later operation as a station." This is confusing: was it not initially meant to be a train station?
 * "named the street that led to the library, Library Road". Take out the comma since it's an essential phrase.
 * "In 1963, Briarcliff resident and artist Myril Adler proposed a series of exhibits of graphic art; the first showing was in October of that year." When was the proposal?
 * "Adler would display". Change to "Adler displayed."
 * "In the 1980s and 90s,..." I don't see the need to clarify this statement by saying it was reported by the Times. I also don't see the need for a general statement about the popularity of videocassettes during this time period. I would suggest rewriting this sentence to focus just on the library, something along the lines of "The library experienced a significant increase in popularity of videocassettes during the 1980s and 1990s...."
 * "The library, which had 3,200 square feet (300 m2)". Should be "was 3,200 square feet" in order with previous descriptions of the library's area.
 * "led a fundraising effort raising". Put a comma between "effort" and "raising."
 * "today)[19].[31]" Fix the citation order.
 * "it failed by 13 votes, from the 871 cast". I don't know why you would include the total number of votes, but not specify exactly how many people voted for or against it? If I did my algebra right, x + x + 13 = 871, so it failed by a 429-442 vote.
 * "In the early 2000s, plans began for expansion of the library building." I would like some clarification for who decided to expand the building. The board of trustees? The village board?
 * "for the renovation and also". "Also" is redundant, because if you're doing something in addition to another thing (implied by the conjunction "and"), then you're also doing it.
 * "The original station building was renovated... in 2016. The plans were in development since as early as 2013..." Keep it in chronological order. Discuss the plans to renovate the centre in 2013 before talking about the completion of the renovation in 2016.
 * "the center's opening and the dedication to Vescio on May 30, 2016." The prepositional phrase "on May 30, 2016" could refer just to the dedication to Vesio or to both the dedication and the opening of the center. Since it's unclear, rephrase the sentence to move that up to the beginning so it refers to the entire sentence. ("On May 30,... presided over the center's opening and dedication to Vesio.") There's also no need to repeat the article "the" since it applies to both.
 * "and has a large parking lot accessible from Library Road". Is a description of the parking lot really noteworthy enough to warrant inclusion? Readers would already assume it has a parking lot that is sized large enough to accommodate its audience.
 * "is nearby the". Using "nearby" as a proposition is grammatically incorrect. Change to "near."
 * "borders the pool constructed". Insert a comma between "pool" and "constructed" since it's not an essential phrase.
 * "as an emergency broadcast and warming and cooling center". Can't use conjunction reduction when the conjunctions in question are different ("an emergency broadcast" vs "a warming and cooling center").
 * "and has movable furniture". This phrase confuses me. Assuming your couch isn't nailed to your floor, wouldn't all furniture be movable? What's the relevance of noting that the centre has furniture you can move around?
 * "was named in memory of Juliette Wasserman". Add some context for who Wasserman is/was (otherwise there's really no point in saying the children's room was named after some random figure).
 * and eight part-time employees, including reference and youth librarians." Are the reference and youth librarians part-time employees?
 * "Services include... a children's room, and a local history collection". Is a children's room really a service being provided? A service (versus a good, or something that is a feature of the library) would be something that does not include a physical transaction (like discussion).
 * "The Friends of the Briarcliff Manor Public Library is an organization through which community..." No need for passive tense; rewording to active tense ("Community members support the library through..."). Also, take out "help." They're not "helping" to support, they are supporting.
 * "books, and provided... and participated..." Reword to take out the second "and" (fix parallel structure). The verb order should be "have helped, provided, sponsored, and participated".
 * "The publication, The Changing Landscape". Take out the comma since it's an essential phrase; not all the publications were written by Mary Cheever.
 * "occupying that space for eight years". Did it move back to the school building in 1974?
 * "one year". Hyphenate.
 * "The department had its origins in a recreation committee formed in 1943." Move the history section to the beginning, since it should be in chronological order.