User:Wormygal/Collective animal behavior/Alwayh Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Wormygal


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Wormygal/Collective animal behavior


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Collective animal behavior

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello, this is my peer evaluation of your changes to the collective animal behaviour article.

I am not sure your rewording to the article adds anything or clears up any odd wording. Removal of 'group' in parts of the lead makes things more ambiguous at times. In the modeling approach subheading "Two examples of this simulation is the Boids program created by Craig Reynolds in 1986 and the Self Propelled Particle model" 'is' should be 'are'. I like your added citations, and your added sentence in the social interaction subheading. Obviously this is a well developed article, so it may be difficult to do much with it, but I feel more additions like that would really grow the contribution of your proposed changes! Could you add to the inbreeding subsection, possibly? Maybe there has been a study done to help back it up? In an initial skim through the original article that section is noticeably more bare than the others. It may be a good spot to look into.