User:Wyatt915/Funny Vandalism

Stuart Post
Stuart Post is a respectable young gentleman from the small country village of Croydon, London. He is a rather huge fan of Polo, Cricket, Vincent Samways and Hip Hop. He is currently unemployed, but has worked within the banking industry for many a year. He hopes to change paths and find employment within the biochemical mathematics department of Hamleys. His favourite colour is "deficate brown" as it reminds him of the natural world. He drives a classic Bubble Car around town as it releases hardly any naughty chemicals, which he frowns upon.

Growing up, he was a bit a naughty tearaway, causing a stir among the locals. It has been told that once, when he was around the age of 13, he snuck into Lady Crinklebottoms back garden, and slaughtered all of her award-winning Hungry Caterpilla's. She was extremely distraught by this occurrence, and in revenge, took a knife to his Penis. Secret sources have told reporters that this is untrue, as his Penis is still intact.

At the age of 15, Stuart Post nearly ran into trouble with the law, when he was found hanging fully naked, upside down, tied to a local "Men At Work" sign. When the police took him in, they found he had the date rape drug Ryhipnol in his system. After further testing, they found that he had been seduced, and raped by a local Priest. The Priest, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was sent to Purgotary for 7 years. Despite this short sentance, he was murdered in his cell by his fellow inmate, Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

Post has stayed out of trouble now for a good 67 years, and is currently dying from a rare disease called "Penisfallenoffeth Syndrome." Althought is current state is fairly stable, the Doctors and Nurses at MayDay Hospital have estimated that he only has a few months left to live.

Notes from Wyatt915 on Stewart Post
I put this article up for speedy deletion, but it was too funny to kill completely, so I put it here.
 * Written By: Kellymariestar

List of Uranium Mines
crazy people are running around my flying space ship

Lorenzo_de'_Medici
http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Lorenzo_de'_Medici&action=historysubmit&diff=330366928&oldid=330366901