User:Wyogirl1/Lourdes Huanca Atencio/Iheartfrogs Peer Review

General info
Wyogirl1, Meliboxeo, Gracie568, Jwin777
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Wyogirl1/Lourdes Huanca Atencio
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article presents the life of a very intriguing woman who has done so much. There are some things need to be changed throughout for more cohesive writing. She is referred to as "Huanca Atencio", "Atencio", and "Lourdes" in different places. There should maybe be more agreement in how to refer to her.

The lead section is solid and works well. The use of "furthermore" and "in addition" right next to each other seems a bit redundant, though.

The "Early and Personal Life" section seems a bit short, although I assume it's due to lack of info. The section works well, though. It is well-written except for the sentence "Currently, Huanca Atencio has two sons." Is she pregnant? Will she be having more kids? Why the use of currently? When does currently refer to?

The "FENMUCARINAP" subsection is very well done. It is very clear about the importance of this organization and her role it. I have only nitpicks such as the citation for source 11 should be at the end of the sentence.

The "FILAC" subsection is also done well, although Huanca Atencio's role within the organization is a bit unclear. Did she just attend and present before the org?

The "Political Involvement" subsection is very poor. The language is very informal. There are run-on sentences, redundancies, and confusing language. It almost feels like typed up notes that haven't been changed at all for use on Wikipedia. Uses of "this year" and other similar phrases should be changed to the actual year because someone reading this in two months or two years will likely be confused. Parts of the section also take a clear stance which need to be changed to be more neutral. The content in this sections is very interesting, though.

Overall, this page is well done. She is a great choice to make a page about and has been involved in such great movements. The content is great, but the "Political Involvement" subsection needs a lot of work. Otherwise, it is a promising Wikipedia page in need of a few tweaks here and there