User:XRoseThornX

I always hate the time of year when scheduling comes around.

You're forced to think about your future, to focus on the "tomorrow" and the "many, many years from now that you could never fathom." Around this time of year, we are forced to fathom the unfathomable and are eventually asked the question "What do you want to do with your life?"

Well, what DO I want to do with my life?

I thought I knew, but I'm becoming more and more privvy to the idea that I really don't.

It's funny how people can look at you and see so many possibilities; this friend is bubbly and patient and would therefore make an excellent teacher, that friend is very technologically knowledgable and would probably enjoy working in a technical profession.

People are able to look at you and your talents better than you can.

At least, that's my case.

I never really saw any talents I posessed, if things came easy to me, I never assumed it was because I was good at it. It took me until the fifth grade to finally understand that I was good at English, and many teachers had to tell me how good I was. I would be praised for my writing skills and told I could amount into something in that field; now here I sit, trying to figure out if that's what I really want.

Since the fifth grade, I've been programmed to understand what I want.

I acquired a pre-emptive response; "So, Danielle, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A writer," I'd say, without missing a beat. I never thought about it, I never considered it. People just told me I was good, and I accepted that.

Well, now, as I get so close to finally reaching "my life", I don't know what to do. I sit here, gathering regrets. "I should have taken this class, I should have joined this club, this would look good on my college transcript."

When did people start living mainly for their future?

I'm going on my first trip to Florida, and I could not be more excited.

That's happening next month; this is happening years from now.

I can't let simple events in my life affect me any more, now I have to consider my future, because everything I'm doing now affects it.

Am I going to be a writer? I'm interested in psychology. I do like writing. I have no logistic skills. I have likes and dislikes, randomly scattered, no rhyme or reason. Do I take the classes that would be good for me, or the classes I want?

I want to take a creative writing class next year.

I've wanted to since my sophomore year, since I first learned the class existed.

What do people see when they look at me? What do THEY see in me?

I'm a good person to confide in, I've been told. One of my good friends looks to me for advice frequently, so naturally sees me as a personal psychiatrist, and that is what I should be.

I'm very interested in psychology, I used to be socially paranoid and read people constantly. Then I got tired of being so socially aware and afraid.

Can't I get through the things I'm looking forward to?

Do I have to grow up and figure out how the next ten years of my life are going to be planned when I can barely figure out what I want for a snack?

For now, I want to focus on going to Disney World. I want to meet Rafiki for the first time and hug sweltering people in large, furry costumes, hoping to recall my childhood dream of always wanted to be there.

I'm forced to not enjoy my own life, and I don't think that's right.

And because I question it, I will fail.

Because I want to live in the moment and not plan out anything, I will not prosper.

I will end up taking the classes I want, not pertaining to what I'm doing with my life, and then not know what to do once I get to that point.

I'm standing at a crossroad, and I have two options.

Focus on the future and worry (or wonder why I'm not already worreid when I'm not sure what I want to do) OR live in the moment and get through the minor things that are going to make up my life. Should I take that chemistry class so I can have at least one of those "Big Three" that science teachers keep talking about? Does it look bad that I replaced my science class with an additional English class?

And how am I going to answer these questions and figure out which way I'm going if I don't even know if I'm going to pass my history test next period?

So many questions and no answers.

This is my life.

F my life.

"Something" was a song written by the Beatles in 1980 B.C. It was a simpler time, which would all be changed when Paul McCartney murdered his father for extra money. When "Something" was released, it was a smash hit, making it the most popular non-Muslim produced song in the world. The song was meant to touch the hearts of thousands of people. However, the song did nothing but start a war that lasted for 7 years, taking the lives of millions. After the massacre, the Beatles sat down and had a long talk. Their song had caused murder and destruction, and soon the whole world would know that "Something" was the song the started something; mainly, a nuclear war. Then, George Harrison was arrested for drunk driving, and this caused the band to have a terrible drought, which was dramatized in the movie Titanic. In conclusion, "Something" will be with us forever; not just a song, but a way of life.

http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AWTOjms3hm5pZG1qenFjbl8yZ2ZjcG0zd3M&hl=en