User:Xcelsor/sandbox

I.	Lead a.	“Mr. Seamus Twomey, the one-time chief of staff, Mountjoy escaper, and former Belfast brigade commander” …. Better information for the Leader section giving brief description of Seamus than going into depth in his biography. b.	In an Interview when asked what “Irish Nationalism” meant to him in his words, he responded, “We draw a distinction between Irish Nationalism and republicanism. A ‘nationalist’ as such can work for the benefit of his country by doing all in his power to promote industry and help people etc. Our definition implies the militant republican tradition. Our use of the term ‘nationalism’ means first of all getting the freedom of our country and then starting to better the welfare of the people” II. Biography a.	Early Life: Former manager of a bookmaker shop b.	Bookmaker in the 50s. Helped in every election campaign in the 50s and 60s. Interned during World war II; Seamus was help on the prison ship Al Rawadah and later in Crulim Road Jail in Belfast. His wife, Rosie, was held in Armagh jail, a women’s prison in Ulster. Seamus Twomey was born in Marchioness Street in the Lower Falls Area. His father was a volunteer during the 1920s. Seamus Twomey joined the Fianna Eireann in 1936 and the IRA in 1937. Married to Rosie Twomey (McCotter) in 1946. Was a father to sons and daughters, Veronica and Patricia Twomey; and was also a grandfather. In August 1971 he became O/C of Belfast Brigade. b.	Death: “Died in Dublin, age 70, from a heart condition in which he battled for a long time” Important because in the Wiki article it just said he died from an illness; this gives clarity as to what illness specifically. III. Irish Resistance Army (IRA) Chief of Staff a.	Split the biography b.	“During an inquest into the deaths of ten Protestant workers, Sean O'Callaghan named Seamus Twomey and Brian Keenan as the men who sanctioned the atrocity.” …”Sean O'Callaghan told the court that Seamus Twomey and Brian Keenan had not consulted the IRA's Army council before authorizing the attack.” c. IV. Capture a.	Split the biography Airlifted from a hijacked helicopter and escaped prison and for three years resumed his post as Chief of Staff. b.	“The IRA hijacked a helicopter, inset above right pictured with officers, and forced its pilot to pick up Mountjoy Prison inmates JB O'Hagan, Seamus Twomey and Kevin Mallon.” b.	Jailed for three years for IRA activities. d.	Jailed again in 1977 in the republic serving 5 years after his release he was no longer active. V.	After Prison a.	“After his release in January 1982 he remained active in the republican movement and made political appearances in the United States, apparently avoiding a ban on entry to the United States by using an anglicized version of his first name, calling himself James Twomey.” b. VI. Quotations a.	Add more quotations from newspaper b.	“the truce is broken. The truce which we fought hard to maintain was today breached on a number of occasions.” ” Despites the past 48 hrs., we have been negotiating with the office of the Secretary of State in an endeavor to reach a peaceful solutions to the homeless problem that has arisen in the area as a results of UDA intimidation. ”Despite hours of talk, and the fact that we withdrew on two occasions, British representatives bowed the knew to pressure from the sinister UDA and refused to permit families who have been legally allocated house in Horn Drive, entry to their own homes.” c.	Press conference on July 13th: “Our CHQ in Dublin was fully aware and fully informed of everything that took place and were in complete agreement with Belfast and units all over Northern Ireland going back into action” b.	When asked in an interview “...you say you want to get ‘freedom for our country’ what do you mean? Twomey replies “Freedom does not mean simply the freedom of green fields: it means that every person is catered for so that ever family in the country would be able to live free from poverty and unemployment.” VII. Further Reading VIII. Footnotes

** COMMENTS**

I just made super simple proof reading edits like deleting extra spaces, spelling errors, I also added Irish Resistance Army the first time you mention the IRA just for any reader that isn't familiar. The first time was in the title though, so I'm not sure if that placement is awkward. I had a slight difficulty following in the beginning just because I don’t already know about Seamus Twomey so I was kind of confused. But obviously you noted to add that description in the beginning so I’m sure once you’ve made your final version it’ll flow well. I really liked the newspaper source so I like that you noted to add more, that will add a lot of good content. Maybe also add a slight explanation of the UDA or at least what it stands for if its self explanatory. The first time you mentioned it I was slightly confused. The same thing but in reference to CHQ. Again, I see you noted to add in “after prison”, that’ll also help the flow of your paragraphs. The chronology helps it makes sense to an average reader, well done. Overall, I thought it was really well done! It's straight forward, easy to read, and articulate. Great job!