User:Xdt/Sandbox

This is my page for testing articles.

=Yesterday's Jam=

"Yesterday's Jam" is the first episode of the first series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on February 3, 2006. It features the first appearences of Roy, Moss, Jen and Denholm.

Synopsis
Denholm, owner of Reynholm Industries, recruits a new worker called Jen who he makes head of the IT Department. Down in the basement, the IT guys aren't too happy to hear about this...

Plot
Denholm is interviewing Jen for a job at Reynholm Industries. She has posted a CV with false information explaining she specialises in working with computers. She says she has knowledge of things such as e-mails and surfing the internet. Convinced she knows her stuff, Denholm makes her head of the IT Department. Jen asks what the people are like who she'll be working with, to which Denholm exclaims; "STANDARD NERDS!"

In the basement, Roy finishes a coffee and turns on his recorded advice message to the people calling from the above floors; "Have you tried turning it on and off again?" and "Is it plugged in?" This in fact works. Moss meanwhile gives a thorough and complicated description of the problem and what must be done, but the other person hangs up.

Arriving downstairs, Jen discovers the basement is nearly abandoned and has very low standards after seeing a man on the toilet. encounters Roy and Moss. Roy is pretending to act posh (to impress Jen) but his false act is ruined by Moss who does not understand what Roy is doing. Discovering she is the new manager, Roy and Moss soon realise she knows nothing about computers at all and they wait for Jen to slip up.

After catching Jen pretending to type, Roy and Moss decide to report her to Denholm. Roy, Moss and Jen make their way upstairs and prepare to tell on her, but change their minds after hearing Denholm firing Floor 4 for not working as a team, (as well as the security guards as they cannot work as a team either). Roy and Jen cover up the real meaning of the visit, with Roy commenting that they had installed voice activation on Denholm's computer. Denholm begins to try out his 'revamped' computer.

Down in the basement, Roy is attacked by a female worker from an above floor who beats him with a shoe, to which Jen manages to stop, without realising. Moss is shocked and comments how well she handled the situation. Jen realises she can be useful in the department, as the relationship manager.

Jen tries to help Roy and Moss give the IT Department a better social status, and they throw a party inviting everyone else at Reynholm Industries to come along.

The party soon gets into fall swing, with a group of women commenting on how hilarious Roy is. Moss walks in, and Roy asks him to tell everyone about the 'really funny incident in Amsterdam'. Moss is surprised by this, and as Roy walks out the room, Moss begins telling the story. The crowd are shocked by hearing of how Roy and Moss hired prostitutes during their holiday in Amsterdam. They were too scared to do anything with the prostitutes so they took them to the fairground and Moss finishes by commenting on what a fun time it was. Roy walks in and too his horror discovers Moss didn't tell the story of how he lost his glasses in Amsterdam, but the story about the prostitutes. The party is ruined, and Roy lunges at Moss.

Later on, Jen comments that the department has no chance of getting any social status. Roy and Moss meanwhile reflect on their holiday in Amsterdam and how much fun it was.

Upstairs, Denholm is yelling at the computer to start up, still not having figured out there is no voice activation...

Trivia

 * Another co-worker appears in two scenes; on the toilet and giving moss the new Harry Potter book. He is not seen again after this episode.
 * This episode features Moss recieving the 'new Harry Potter book', he gets both the children's and adult's versions to make sure there are no differences in the text.
 * Denholm has an A-Team photo on his desk. He refers to each character, but gives incorrect names for each: 'Bodie', 'Doyle' (actually characters from the series The Professionals), 'Tiger' and 'The Jewellery Man' (actually Mr. T's character, B.A. Baracus)

=Calamity Jen=

"Calamity Jen" is the second episode of the first series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on February 3, 2006.

Synopsis
Jen finds her dream pair of shoes, but they're too small. Meanwhile, Denholm declares war on stress.

Plot
Jen spots a pair of red shoes on her way to work, which she stops to stare at.

In the basement Moss is watching an advert for the new UK emergency phone number '999'; '0118 999 881 999 119 725 3'. The advert explains that the service is being upgraded with 'better looking drivers'. Moss believes the number is rather easy to remember, reciting the song of the new number. Jen suddenly walks in, muttering about the shoes and how she can't have them (especially as they're too small). Roy announces that Denholm is holding a talk upstairs, to which Moss complains that Denholm will probably declare war on something.

Upstairs, Denholm announces he's declaring war - on stress. He asks people how to combat stress, yet declares he is the answer. Jen's mind has drifted off and she glances at the exit, and she leaves. Denholm announces there will be a stress course for combatting stress and asks if anyone will go, he adds that there will be a free buffet to which everyone raises their hand. He then adds that anyone stressed at the end of the day, "WILL BE FIRED!"

At the shoe shop, Jen finally manages to get the shoe on after a half an hour effort despite them being three sizes to small.

The stress course has just begun, and Dr. Julian Holmes is talking about stress. He is disturbed by Roy who enters late, with Moss and they cause a great disturbance as they try to get seats. Holmes uses a stress machine to show how easy it is to become stressed, and how he would become stressed easily earlier in life. Roy scares a woman who is using the stress machine by jumping out on her, and Holmes finally loses his temper as Roy and Moss bother him for goes on the stress machine.

In the basement, Moss has built his own stress machine which he is testing on himself. Jen enters and parades her new shoes around but Roy and Moss do not notice to her anger. She removes the shoes and discovers to her horror that her feet are mangled. Roy warns Moss about turning off the machinery in the office because it will cause a fire. Moss sees the machine is off, turns it on, and walks away (having mixed up what Roy told him to do).

Jen meets the nurse who tells Jen she will have to go barefoot for the rest of the day. This results in the new foreign business partner (who Denholm's cultural advisor Paul has given a pair of Doc Martens) jumping on Jen's foot. She screams and yells at the man who leaves. Jen apologises to Denholm, who announces he will visit Jen downstairs.

Roy meets Dr. Julian Holmes who he annoys more and gets into a fight with, this results in Roy running off with the stress machine.

Moss has started a fire, and forgets the new emergency phone number and the fire extinguisher does not work; it's made in Britain. Moss e-mails the fire brigade and sits back and relaxes. Roy arrives along with Jen who are both horrified by the fire despite Moss' reassurance. With Denholm on his way down, Moss and Roy hide the stolen stress machine (which Moss fears will send him and Roy to prison) in Jen's office and cover the fire with an old computer monitor. Roy tries to help Jen get her shoes back on and gets impaled by them. Denholm arrives and tests Jen's stress level with the stolen stress machine which he finds, Jen doesn't appear to be stressed as the machine is broken; it was made in Britain. Roy passes out from loss of blood, Jen passes out from stress, and Moss is knocked out by the fire brigade who bash the door down.

Trivia

 * The spoof TV commercial announcing the emergency phone number has changed from '999' to '0118 999 881 999 119 725 3' is a reference to the 2003 change of Directory enquiries from simply '192' to various six digit numbers beginning '118'.

=Fifty-Fifty=

"Fifty-Fifty" is the third episode of the first series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on February 10, 2006.

Synopsis
Roy declares that all women like bastards while Jen suddenly becomes an 'expert of classical music'.

Plot
Roy's date with Patricia (who works on one of the higher floors at Reynholm Industries) comes to an end. He walks her to her door but she does not want him to come inside. She then tells Roy he has shit on his forehead, but he claims it to be chocolate. They laugh about it but she does not let him in.

Next day at work, Moss tells Roy that Patricia won't have told everyone about the chocolate on his forehead. Jen suddenly comes into the room laughing about what happened the night before; Patricia has told everyone (even Roy's mother who phones him). Roy declares that it's obvious that women don't like kind men but prefer ignorant bastards. Then, Daniel (one of the security guards) enter, and he asks Jen about classical music. She answers all his questions correctly and asks if she's doing anything that night. He tells her to stay in between 8pm and 9pm.

Jen makes a bet with Roy that if he posts an ad on a dating website describing himself as a bastard he won't get a reply. Determined he will, Roy and Moss get to work.

At her home, Jen waits for Daniel. The phone suddenly rings, and she answers and finds out it's Chris Tarrant from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. He asks Jen a question about classical music, which she gets wrong (even though a fifty-fifty had already been used) and causes Daniel to lose £31,000.

Next day, everybody at work knows about what happened to Jen, she is even more dismayed to discover that Roy got a reply for his ad; a girl called Rebecca. Daniel enters and reluctantly asks Jen if she wants to go out for a meal. As he leaves, Jen asks Moss if he knows anywhere that serves good food. Moss suggests she goes to 'Messy Joes' which he pronounces as 'Mesijoes'. Roy then asks where he can take his date, and Moss tells him the same thing.

At Messy Joe's (which turns out to be a family restaraunt), Roy's date with Rebecca seems to be going okay, but Jen and Daniel are eating in silence. A group of singers with guitars (dressed as Mexicans) try to play annoying music to Jen and Daniel but soon leave. Then, a clown begins to taunt Daniel about how he saw him on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Daniel attacks the clown, hitting him with his own floppy shoes. Roy interferes and ends up getting injured.

Jen tends to Roy out the back of the restaraunt with a bandage while Daniel leaves with Rebecca. Roy then calls a cab for Jen, they part with Roy ignorantly slamming the door in Jen's face.

In his and his mother's home, Moss sits in the bathroom trying to make a dating video for people to watch but his mother continues to interrupt.

Trivia

 * Series creator Graham Linehan makes a guest appearence as one of the Mexican singers.

=The Red Door=

"The Red Door" is the fourth episode of the first series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on February 17, 2006. It also features the first appearence of Richmond Avenal.

Synopsis
Jen ponders about what lies beyond the mysterious red door in the basement. Moss meanwhile has to save Roy from becoming a 'desk rabbit'.

Plot
Moss shows off his new cup to Roy explaining it has a picture of him on it so that it won't go missing. Jen enters talking about Gloria's (a secretary from the third floor) new baby. Roy didn't know she was pregnant and thought that her increase in weight was her stealing office equipment just as he did. Moss then shows Roy where the picture of his face is, but spills his drink on him by accident saying he will show Roy the cup in the minute. Jen then asks why do Roy and Moss live in such a grubby office, but Roy and Moss do not know. She tells them they should clean the office. Roy then asks to see Moss' cup and Moss discovers his picture is not on there; it isn't his cup.

Jen and Roy are eating lunch, and Jen asks what is behind the red door on the other side of the room. Roy and Moss run in front of it stating if she goes in there, the rainforest will die. Roy then gets a call (from someone he asked out but turned him down) to fix his computer.

Upstairs, Roy fixes the computer but becomes trapped under the desk between two women.

In the basement, Moss recieves a text from Roy explaining the situation, and dubs him a 'desk rabbit' (a term that Moss has just invented). Moss says he must investigate, and as he leaves Jen heads towards the red door, she opens it and encounters a goth. The goth reveals himself to be called Richmond, who used to work closely with Denholm upstairs and was doing very well. Richmond then says he found out about the band Cradle of Filth (and became a goth). When Denholm's father died, he changed (Richmond gave Denholm's mother a CD of Cradle of Filth) and that's when Richmond got put downstairs. Since then, Roy and Moss kept him beyond the red door, and only exits for supplies (such as Moss' cup).

Moss is unable to distract the two women and has to return to the basement to tell Jen. He is shocked to see Richmond out of his room and tells Jen that she must save Roy.

Jen manages to distract the two ladies by saying a builder is taking off his shirt (the builder is in fact rather ugly) but Roy gets enough time to get up. Jen then goes to Denholm (who has Moss' cup) and talks to him about Richmond, but he tells her to keep out.

Returning downstairs, Roy is also angered about Richmond who has been bringing Moss down. Jen then takes Richmond upstairs to speak with Denholm, who gives him job back. Denholm warns Richmond how easily his mind can change, as it does and Richmond returns to the basement and is shut back in his room. Roy then says not to go through the mysterious green door in the far corner of the room.

Moss then goes to the canteen and searches for his cup.

Trivia

 * The lead-up to Jen encountering Richmond is a parody of Edward Scissorhands.

=The Haunting of Bill Crouse=

"The Haunting of Bill Crouse" is the fifth episode of the first series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on February 24, 2006.

Synopsis
Moss spreads a lie that Jen is dead when he has to get rid of her date from the previous night, Bill Crouse.

Plot
Jen is on a date with Bill Crouse, and she tells him she's having a lovely evening. Bill invites her back to his to listen to the new Jamie Cullum album to which she says yes to. Bill is then rude to the waiter and explains to Jen he doesn't like sharing. Shocked and appalled, Jen says she doesn't like Jamie Cullum.

At work, Roy is listening to the story of Jen's evening out. He explains that Bill is known as 'the news' because he's always telling everyone who he has slept with. Roy then goes onto explain that when people were rude to him when he was a waiter he would put their food down his trousers. He then suggests the same happened to Bill and that Jen was lucky they weren't sharing. Jen then says she's surprised that Julie on the fifth floor thought he was perfect for Jen. Roy then asks who Jen knows on fifth, but she believes Roy is going to letch on her to get a girlfriend, but he denies this. Jen then tells Moss that if Bill comes to see her, that Moss should tell Bill that Jen is busy. Jen goes to her office while Roy goes to try his luck on fifth. Unfortunately, Moss isn't very good at lying and cannot convince Bill, so he tells Bill that Jen is dead. Bill is shocked, and tells Moss he was the last person to sleep with her.

Upstairs, Roy gives Julie his business card explaining 'he's been assigned to deal with any personal computer problems', Roy calls her Judy and Julie calls Judy over believing Roy has the wrong person. Judy is an incredibely ugly woman, to Roy's horror. Roy passes Bill on the way down, who is telling everyone how he was the last person to sleep with Jen.

In the basement, people are comforting Moss, who gets rid of them by saying he wishes to be alone. Roy explains to Moss about Judy as Jen enters explaining she's going to get a coffee. On her way out, Jen trips over the flowers Bill left there and discovers there is a whole pile of them and a card saying 'you will always be in our hearts'. Judy phones Roy to say that her computer is broken, but Roy fakes his phone has no battery and puts the phone down. Jen does not realise everyone thinks she's dead, and Moss lies that she's just won employee of the month. Jen then goes up to thank everyone.

In his office, Bill tells someone how he slept with Jen, who suddenly passes (having been pushed along by a short elderly post-room worker called 'Small' Paul on his trolley). Jen's body is not visible, so Bill only sees her screaming face glide across. The shock of it causes him to pass out. Small Paul says farewell to Jen, and feels a pain near his heart and collapses.

At Jen's 'funeral', Denholm goes to say a few words. He talks about how he and Jen were alike, and then explains how 'his close friend Elton John' has agreed to play a beatiful song about death. Just then, Jen enters to the shock of everyone, Jen says a few words to the baffled crowd, until someone points out she isn't dead. Jen is booed off and Denholm says "You lying cow!" Everyone then cheers on for Elton to play.

Jen returns downstairs and grabs Moss by the throat when he reveals about his lie. She leaves a message for Bill telling him to stop saying to everyone he slept with her upon Moss informing her. Moss then gets her Bill's address. Judy enters asking where Roy is (who has hidden) and Moss tells her he's dead.

Bill gets the message which terrifies him, so he goes home.

That night Jen goes to see Bill, but her car breaks down. She calls out to Bill who thinks she's a ghost. He promises not to say he slept with her ever again, and Jen leaves.

Elton John is shown playing at Small Paul's funeral, while the funeral guests question whether it's the real Elton John.

Judy spots Roy, and is terrified to Roy's delight.

Trivia

 * When Roy and Judy encounter each other on the street, Judy's scream and point are reminiscent of various sci-fi instances of human disguised aliens alerting others of the presence of non-aliens, such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

=Aunt Irma Visits=

"Aunt Irma Visits" is the sixth and final episode of the first series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on March 3, 2006.

Synopsis
For Jen, it's that time of the month, but are Roy and Moss experiencing the same problems?

Plot
Denholm is congratulating everyone on their work on Project Icarus, but he fails to mention the IT Department. Dismayed, they return to the basement.

In the basement, Roy, Moss and Jen ponder how they deserved to be thanked, and Jen is upset to hear they're not going to the thank you party. Jen then asks for Roy to take down the poster advertising a monkey horror film, Roy does not and Jen yells at him. She apologises, and explains it's her time of the month which she dubs 'Aunt Irma'. She warns Roy to annoy her, which he proceeds to do by opening and closing a draw continuouslly and she turns into a spiky red haired person with a booming voice. Roy stops and leans back in shock, to which Jen apologises and goes to her office. Moss enters asking what happened, and then he gets a reminder that it's time for his appointment with the psychiatrist, Dr. Mendall, because of the time he said Jen was dead. Moss explains she is an attractive older woman and goes to give Jen something to sign. His knocking annoys her, and her anger shatters his glasses.

At his appointment with the psychiatrist, Moss finds out he doesn't need to visit anymore, so he tries to lie about psychiatric problems he's been having, so he can keep seeing her. Mendall tells Moss he doesn't need her, but he believes he's as the end of his flipping temper to which she is shocked by his language, but he replies telling her to flip off.

At the vending machine, Roy uses a device to get a packet of Monster Munch, as he does, Denholm jumps out on him wearing ear plugs talking incredibely loud, and thanks Roy for Project Icarus. For no apparent reason, Roy breaks into tears as Denholm walks off.

Downstairs, Moss and Roy discuss their problems, and Jen believes they might be having their own time of the month. Roy is appalled by this, but Moss seems to believe it and sends an e-mail out to everyone in the address book, explaining his and Roy's symptoms to find out what is wrong with them. They soon have over one thousand entries on google and find a website (www.ladysproblems.com) that depicts them as elderly women.

Richmond visits Jen and asks her to have a word with Moss and Roy and shows Jen the website. She asks why Richmond doesn't seem to be affected by Aunt Irma, but he says he's been gloomy all day. Jen comments it's difficult to tell under all his make-up, but he says he isn't wearing any.

Jen finds out Roy and Moss have had a fight (Roy has scratch marks on his cheek).

In Richmond's room, he and Moss watch the news, revealing that 'Aunt Irma Riots' have been occurring across the globe. Roy walks in and sees the reports. He then goes into Jen's office to try and find out how to calm her down.

Dr. Mendall visits Moss, and tells him she terminated his therapy on purpose so she could have a relationship with him.

Roy finds out that when things got on top of Jen in her old job, she would have a big girls' night out. He exits, and sees Mendall and Moss kissing. He mistakes Mendall to be his mother, to her surprise. Roy then asks Moss what he'd say to a big girls' night out.

In Jen's flat, Jen, Moss and Roy watch Steel Magnolias, wearing bathrobes and towels on their heads. Roy manages to convince Jen and Moss that they should go to the thank you party, but not until they've watched ten minutes of Beaches.

Moss, Jen and Roy skip down the road to the party (they even buy t-shirts with Moss and Roy on as depicted on www.ladysproblems.com). Moss goes to see Dr. Mendall, and Roy and Jen decide to get drunk together. Denholm is joking with a group of work colleagues, who he leaves to dance with Moss, Roy, Jen and Dr. Mendall, to the disgust of the group he was just with. As the night progresses, everyone becomes incredibly drunk. Moss dances slowly with Dr. Mendall, as does Roy and Jen while Denholm dances on his own waving a bottle, trying to sing along to the song.

Next morning, Jen screams as she realises she has slept with Moss. Roy believes his mother has brought him in a cup of tea, but it is actually Dr. Mendall which causes him to scream.

Denholm wakes up and sees he's been sleeping with Richmond, and they both scream.

Trivia

 * Moss says he has smarties cereal, which is in fact smarties in milk.

=The Work Outing=

"The Work Outing" is the first episode of the second series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on August 24, 2007.

Synopsis
Jen gets a date to the theatre with Phillip from the sixth floor. Unfortunately, Moss and Roy manage to invite themselves, but all is not well when it turns out it is a gay musical...

Plot
In the basement, Phillip from the sixth floor enters and asks Jen if he can borrow her copy of Heat Magazine. After letting him take it, Jen is asked by him if she wants to go on a date to the theatre. He seems to be staring at Moss as he asks this, and eventually, all the IT department are getting ready for a trip to the theatre, and Roy is determined to see the girl of his dreams, Laura Knightly from The Bill. As Jen says, it's not a date anymore, it's a work outing. Roy begins to question Phillip's sexuality after he asked for the magazine. Richmond briefly enters, with Moss stating how Richmond is still alive. Richmond gives a speech on how no good can come from their trip to the theatre.

Later on, the trio meet Phillip in the theatre, who tells them they're going to see 'Gay - a gay musical', to the horror of Roy who is definetely sure Phillip is gay now.

As the show goes on, Moss believes he has been given a whole new view on life. Roy sits impatiently, waiting for an interval while Jen watches in horror on how excited Phillip gets over the musical, especially the song 'I Love Willies'.

At last, an interval arrives. Roy and Moss hurry to the toilets, but to their horror, a doorman is watching them as they try to use the facilities. Unable to urinate as someone watches, the two of them decide to try and use other means of going to the toilet. Roy uses the disabled toilet, and Moss uses the staff toilet.

Jen is with Phillip, and is now watching horror at his incredibly gay behaviour around other men.

Roy meanwhile, has mistaken the emergency alarm call as a toilet flush, and the toilet is soon surrounded by worried staff. As they try to break in, Roy has only one option; he'll have to pretend to be disabled. He comes up with a ludicrous story of how his wheelchair was stolen. He is given a new one, and pretends he is with the group of wheelchair users who have just wheeled past. He goes to the mobility bus but is brought back and is then introduced to Laura Knightley, who believes Roy to be gay and disabled, she then hears how he couldn't attend the performance of the musical, and has got him tickets to go the next day. He is wheeled off to a mobility bus, to the surprise of Jen.

In the staff toilets, Moss is told off by a staff member who believes Moss to have been slacking off, and orders him to get to work.

Jen's evening full of surprises continues when Moss is serving her drinks at the bar. He proceeds to break the glasses.

Jen finally asks Phillip if he is gay, and he is surprised to hear this and says he isn't, and questions why Jen feels a person has to be gay to enjoy a gay musical, and that straight people wouldn't have homosexual friends and why tickling seems gay. She then apologises and says it was because he borrowed a Heat Magazine. He then admits he is actually gay and breaks into tears. He explains that he thought having a relationship with a woman who looks like a man. Jen walks off angrily and shouts "TAXI!"

It turns out that the mobility bus is actually going to Manchester, and is for gay people. As the vehicle sets off, the group begin to sing 'I Love Willies', to Roy's horror.

Moss is still working behind the bar, but has grown to like working in the theatre, but once again he breaks the glasses.

Trivia

 * Producer Ash Atalla plays the gay disabled man who Roy meets on the mobility bus.
 * The part with Jen shouting for a taxi after a failed relationship, is mirrored in the later episode "The Dinner Party".

=Return of the Golden Child=

"Return of the Golden Child" is the second episode of the second series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on August 31, 2007. It features the final appearence of Denholm and the first appearence of his son Douglas.

Synopsis
Denholm commits suicide after 'irregualities in the pension fund' which causes problems for the IT Department, as Denholm's successor plans to fire them.

Plot
While celebrating the success of Reynholm Industries on the top floor of his business, he is interrupted by his secretary Stephanie who informs him about the police who wish to speak to him about "irregularities in the pension fund". Denholm asks her to make them a cup of tea, and proceeds to jump out of the window.

Earlier that day, Roy is boasting about his new phone to Moss and Jen, the only problem is that it has a poor vibration setting. Moss meanwhile is filling in a questionaire for Roy that will predict the date of his death. Roy is angered by this, and suddenly gets a call from upstairs. Moss accidentally looks at the date of Roy's death, who to his horror finds out it is Thursday at 3pm. Heading upstairs, Moss is annoyed to find someone has disabled the firewalls, and the computers are not working properly. Behind him, Denholm can be seen falling past out of the window to the horror of everyone (sans Moss).

Roy meanwhile is asking his family when relatives have died. Moss returns downstairs, complaining about someone having disabled the firewalls and how the lift is broken. Jen enters the room from her office looking morbid, and says Denholm is dead, which Moss repeats unbothered.

The day of the funeral has come, and Jen comments on how good Roy looks. Roy tries to back out of going, but fails. Jen tells him to stop worrying. Moss tries to do the questionaire for Jen who refuses to let Moss do it. She comments on how she feels she has a good few years left, especially since she hasn't smoked in three years. Denholm's successor enters the room thanking Jen for posting the funeral arrangements, which she says she enjoyed "in a sad way". He then talks to Jen in her office explaining he doesn't like the IT Department. Moss meanwhile has 'pimped' Roy's phone. They both fiddle with it, which angers Derek as he exits Jen's office. He is further angered when he tells Moss and Roy "we are burying a great man today", but Roy replies with "did someone else die". Derek exits angrily. Richmond enters wearing a mask, and Jen tells him he can't go to the funeral, but Richmond is actually unaware of a funeral.

Arriving at the church, Roy discovers to his horror that it is quarter to three, and he has fifteen minutes to live. Roy and Moss manage to anger further by trying to console Denholm's wife. They then enter the church.

Roy is spooked as the priest speaks of death. As the clock hits three, Roy is relieved not to have died. Suddenly he begins to shake and believes he is having a fit, but it is in fact his phone which is on vibration.

Richmond is shown to have sent the call, asking how the funeral went.

Derek is angered even more as Roy returns to his seat commenting it was just his phone. The priest then says that Denholm instructed a short film to be played. The film begins, with Derek mouthing to Jen, Moss and Roy that they are history. Denholm appears on the film, and explains he has died because of smoking, as has most of his family. Moss points out he is wrong aloud to Jen's annoyance. Denholm continues to talk about cigarettes, and Jen becomes severely tempted and heads outside. She finds a cigarette in the gutter.

Denholm then tells Stephanie how to order files, as she makes notes. Denholm then thanks everyone for coming and tells everyone to enjoy the rest of the funeral. He then begins to eat an apple. The priest stops the video, and Derek goes to read the eulogy. He informs everyone how he looks forward to getting to know them, yet some he believes he won't be seeing much of. He explains the eldest son is supposed to read the eulogy, but Denholm's son disappeared after a lengthy court case. Derek then goes to read a poem what he heard from Four Weddings and a Funeral. Suddenly, a stranger bursts in proclaiming "FATHER!" and he runs up to the coffin and accidentally knocks it over. He then gets into a brief fight with the priest. He then questions where God is, and a great man lies there, he once again shouts "FATHER!". He bursts into tears as Jen returns, Moss commenting how she stinks. Jen informs him how she smoked a cigarette from a drain. The man then looks at Jen asking who she is. He reveals himself to be called Douglas, and asks Jen her name and what she's doing after the funeral. The priest then explains that Denholm prepared a second tape which reveals Douglas is Denholm's son from his first marriage, and that Reynholm Industries is now his. Denholm makes him promise now he owns Reynholm Industries he will not becomes caught up in a sexual harrassment case ever again. He then tells Douglas to stop the tape and watch the rest in private. Douglas explains he will not hide secrets but changes his mind after hearing about the pension fund business. He stops the tape and takes it home. Derek introduces himself to Douglas, who explains he's bringing in new people and that Derek is fired. He then tells everyone he'll see them on Monday.

On Monday, Douglas puts up his picture in the new office, replacing his father's. Roy and Moss enter, giving Douglas his phone which they've 'pimped'. He asks where Jen is, and Roy explains she went home early to do some 'catching up' (Jen is watching EastEnders while smoking a number of cigarettes at once).

Roy and Moss leave the office sniggering. They ring Douglas' phone after getting him to turn up the vibration setting. Douglas seems sexually aroused by the vibration however.

On the tape, Denholm is shown still eating the apple he began earlier.

Trivia

 * Jen's smoking problem continues into the next episode, "Moss and the German".

=Moss and the German=

"Moss and the German" is the third episode of the second series of the Channel 4 sitcom The IT Crowd. It first aired on September 7, 2007.

Synopsis
Moss takes up a German cooking course in order to spice up his life, while Jen and the other smokers are forced to smoke elsewhere.

Plot
At Roy's home, he and Moss are about to watch a zombie film. As the anti-piracy ad finishes, Moss comments that they are too close to the television. They move the sofa back but Moss is still unsatisfied. Roy's phone rings, and it is his friend Jeff (who wants to be called 'Dominator'). Jeff asks if Roy has seen the new Tarantino film, which Roy is about to watch. Jeff then blurts out that there is an unusual twist at the end to Roy's horror. He quickly slams the phone down, angered that he knows there will be a twist. The DVD player stops working, and Roy knows if he doesn't watch the film then Jeff will find a way of telling him what happens. Moss then leaves and Roy hurries after him. Moss explains he is tired of his repetitive lifestyle and has an arguement with Roy, commenting how they're married and that Roy's his wife.

Next day, Jen heads out the front of Reynholm Industries, to light her cigarette due to her having begun to smoke again. She meets a fellow smoker called Vorg, who is Eastern European. Jen adopts his accent and they discuss how smokers are shunned away.

Jen then returns to the basement and decides to light up, but Roy forbids it. Jen remembers the time when everyone thought smoking was cool, and tells Roy the smoking area is to soviet. The phone rings, and Roy tells Jen not to answer it because it will be Jeff. Jen tells him they can't stop answering the phone, but Roy tells her Jeff will give up in two rings time to go to the toilet, which he does. Moss then enters, and jumps, landing flat on the sofa. Jen asks what is wrong, and he informs her he has the blues, and how he and Roy had an arguement. Jen says they both need to meet new people. Roy then asks what he'll do while Moss is meeting new people and Jen explains he should meet new people as well, but Roy believes them to all be bastards. The phone rings again, and it is Stephanie informing her that Douglas is coming down. Jen tries to flee, explaining he's been trying to make an advance on her such as asking if she wants to go in his helicoptor (which Roy believes to sound like a good thing). Douglas arrives and asks if Jen has a minute. She says she doesn't want a ride in his helicoptor, but he tells her that's not what he wanted to ask. When asked, he lies that it is work-related. Jen asks if he knows what department it is, and he believes it to be a homosexual department. Jen informs it is IT, and he then lies his computer is broken and needs someone to fix it. Jen says that Roy can help and she hurries off. Douglas asks how any work gets done with Jen around, and asks what the DVD Roy has with him is. He explains what it is, and Douglas invites Roy round that evening to watch it there to which Roy is talked into and Douglas exits.