User:Xinyu Cai111111/Cybersex trafficking/NortheasternUEnvironment Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

XinyuCai111111


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Xinyu Cai111111/Cybersex trafficking


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Cybersex trafficking

Evaluate the drafted changes
XinyuCai111111's edits to the Cybersex trafficking entry have been thorough and expansive. Including a task section before the edits was helpful to provide insight and structure for their planned changes. The introductory section was also helpful in providing some background context on the entry.

The users plan to expand on cybersex trafficking for Australia and Oceana, East Asia, Europe, North America, and Southeast Asia will help bolster and flesh out the current entry as it stands. XinyuCai111111's current draft has addressed Australia and Oceana, East Asia, and Europe so that is what will be discussed here.

The section on Australia is well written and thorough. In the first sentence of the second paragraph of this section I would recommend changing the word "by" to "to." Similarly, the East Asia section provides an in-depth summary of the current state and recent developments in the region. In the first sentence of the first paragraph of this section there is an unnecessary colon that should be removed.

There are some other smaller grammatical changes that could be made to strengthen the language overall but do not significantly impede from the entry in a significant manner.

Moving forward, the user should aim to add in the North America and Southeast Asia sections unless they decide to just focus on the previous three which have already been edited. Further, there is a subheading titled "Definitions" with a few points listed underneath it. It is unclear whether the author plans to build out this section as well. NortheasternUEnvironment (talk) 03:56, 10 December 2021 (UTC)