User:XvidLove/sandbox

Vagnar Love.

Is a 23 year old retired football player, who played for Fram FC. During his 9 year career, he played 570 matches, and scored 2.815 goals. The reason for this high goal total, is because he had a clause in his contract, that guaranteed him a Gulløl for every goal. He has also scored every Faroe Islands national team goals to this date. He could run a 100 meter dash in record breaking 8,59 seconds. While he was a youngster, he was scouted by Liverpool, Manchester United, FC Barcelona and Real Madrid, but only Manchester and Liverpool took him on trail, but he didn't get signed, because of a high level of alcohol in his blood. His football trademark, is that he scores at least one bicycle kick pr. game.

Early years.

He got signed to a fulltime contract at the age of six, playing for HB. The first six months, he played as a goalkeeper, but got moved to a forward position, because he scored so many goals from his own box. With the temper of Eric Cantona, and the skills of Roberto Baggio, things were looking good. But his HB career ended after just two years, because of a smoking problem. He got so mad, after getting fired, he swam to Suðuroy, where he signed at new deal, this time with Sumba. His wage was free travel with Smyril, where he got free jolly cola, and one Maxi Burger. He stayed with Sumba until age 11, but then got his contract terminated, for kicking a referee in the balls. He didn't stay a free agent for long, because B36 Tórshavn had noticed his football skills. It took some time to agree a contract with B36, but eventually they agreed a deal, that included: an apartment, a handicap scooter, free food at Statoil, and free clothes, that his teammates didn't use. He didn't score one goal with B36, and got his contract terminated there at age 14, for having a threesome with the coaches and chairmans wife.

Trails with Manchester United and Liverpool.

In june 2004 he went to England, to go on trail with Manchester United and Liverpool, each trail lasted two weeks. United liked what they saw, but ended up not giving Vagner Love a contract, because he threw a hairdryer at the manager. At Liverpool, his trail was a complete failure. He was seen on Penny Lane stripping for money, because the night before he got introduced to beer at a local pub, and desperately wanted more. On his flight home, the plane had to do an emergency landing in Shetland Islands, because Vagner Love got into a fight with the pilot.

Back in the Faroe Islands.

When he got home from England, all the teams were interested in signing Vagner Love. He decided to sign for Fram, because he got a lucrative contract. At Fram he would get free travel in Tórshavn by bus, an apartment next to Glitnir, where he would get 5 Gulløl for every goal he scored, including 1 more Gulløl for every 100 goals pr calendar year. His contract also included 2 clauses, that would allow him to smoke at halftime, and play while he was drunk.

Career at Fram.

He was a crowd favorite, and he had a trademark of scoring at least one bicycle kick pr match. He was a forward, but his style of play was more like a box to box player, helping his team all over the pitch. His skills have been compared, to Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, Ronaldinho and Zidane, but he just gets decribed as being better than all of them combined. During his best season, he scored 102 hattricks, and that year he score an impressive 560 goals. He played nine years with Fram, but didn't ever win a trophy, not even as an individual. He got more more media focus, than Balotelli, he once picked a fight with a young ballboy, for looking at Vagners car, and ended up chasing him through Gundadal with a pitchfork and shovel. It took 50 fullgrown men to catch him, but still he managed to fight himself free, and run away. He ended up in jail, but got released early on good behaviour. Dispite these temper problems, he only got 4 yellow, and zero red cards in his career. He decided to retire, at age 23, because he was to good play in the Faroe Islands, but wasn't allowed to leave the Faroes, because of the fight with the pilot years ago, but mainly because he wanted to focus on developing younger players, and develope his drinking skills. He now is the Faroe Islands under 14 manager, and coaches young players at HB.

Retirement.

He hasn't been seen much since he retired, but some say he has been helping people quit drinking, by offering to drink all their alcohol for free. He managed to get Sea Shepherd to the Faroe Islands, after he was seen at a grind in Sandagerð, stealing a whale, and trying to finger the whale in the blowhole.

He has promised to run for office in the national election in 2015, promising cheaper beer and sigaretts, and longer open hours for Glitnir. So when you cast your vote in 2015, remember: X with Love