User:Xylophonic chicken

Xylophonic Chicken

It appears that there are at least two explanations of the phenomena known as ''' Xylophonic Chicken! '''

The original was a creative aural exploration conducted back in England in early 1971,by a small team of percussionists who were temporarily employed as industrial catering chefs (of which the current author was one) in a large department store in London, Harrods, in fact, It was whilst working in this stultifyingly dull and creativity-free zone (or kitchen, as it is also known) that one day 96 raw, whole chickens were laid out in their serried ranks (12 trays of 8 chickens in each - the chickens were 2lbs 12ozs in weight, without giblets) ready for roasting! Synchronously, as of one accord, all four chef-percussionists picked up 2 large carving knives each, and addressing the (very) deceased, and what is more important, supine chickens and commenced "playing" these chickens in a manner that can only be described as  xylophonic  (knife blade's were reversed so that the blunt back of the blade was used to to tap the sternums of the invidious avians.    Joy was unconfined that day as the gradual discovery that tunes and melodies could be attempted by "playing" different chickens in different combinations of sequences, as each bird had a somewhat different pitch  from each other bird; therefore, quite soon, trays were arranged in keys and a rousing rendition of several popular tunes followed.      Included were "When I'm Sixty-Four" (with harmonies); "Downtown"; "Delilah" and ending with the National Anthem (with sostenato ans some (limited) counterpoint! From that day in March 1971 onwards Xylophonic Chicken  was always engaged in whenever the menu could support it, including one infamous occasion, during Christmas 1974, when there were 27 whole turkeys to roast when "Bohemian Rhapsody" (which had not long been released) was attempted, moderately successfully it must be said. Further experimentation ensued, with particular success with sides of (smoked) bacon, the ribs are quite tuneful and also whole mackerel, being approximately the same pitch as a piccolo, but rather too fragile for long melodies. Of course this is also where Haddock Choreography  was developed, of which more can be found elswhere. --Cee4sure (talk) 22:06, 17 June 2013 (UTC)Cee4sure 23.05, 17 June 2013 Xylophonic Chicken is apparently also a rather boring, not very controversial topic of which little was known until now. The whereabouts and appearance of xylophonic chicken is shrouded in mystery, but it has a wholewebsite devoted to it. This latter form of Xylophonic Chicken originated in early 2005, and was shortly followed by a website. It all began because of a certain person that learns the xylophone, and another certain person's affinity for eating chicken; thus Xylophonic Chicken. Xylophonic Chicken gained a chant, which basically pledged a liking for xylophonic chicken, chicken that is xylophonic. Then a website began small, with only a few pages, and slowly expanded into what it is today. It now features diagrams and chicken facts, deals with addiction to red cordial and tic tacs, and has a de-stressing button-pressing therapy page, just to name a few of its barely entertaining features. Xylophonic Chicken will keep growing, slowly, and one day it will be so big that everyone will just forget about it and continue on their merry way.

Xylophonic chicken 08:10, 23 October 2005 (UTC)