User:YH4DU/Iraq War/Bayley1234 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

YH4DU


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:YH4DU/Iraq War


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Iraq War

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hello, nice work on information-gathering for your article. I have listed the changes I would make according to each criteria below.

Lead

 * The lead does well in mentioning the topics to be expected in the rest of your section on environmental impact. However, the first three sentences are a bit vague and could use more detail to summarize the content and put it into context. For example, you could touch on the actors who perpetrated the environmental harm and the weapons and military acts that caused this harm.

Content

 * The content is all highly relevant to your topic; however, it appears that you are only drawing from sources from 2003, 2013, and 2016. I am wondering if you could be missing out on some of the prolonged/chronic or later discovered impacts of the Iraq war detailed in more current sources. I might look to see if you could find some information from couple of more current sources.
 * For your section on oil pollution, I would ensure you are using information on the Iraq War (2003-11) and not using information from the Persian Gulf War (1990-91) to ensure it is specific to your topic of the Iraq War. lf you are mentioning occurrences from the Persian Gulf War, I would specify this. It appears that the article you are drawing from is on, "Editorial: Loyalty, Integrity, Reality: Environmental Consequences of the War in Iraq," is on the Persian Gulf War. I would also mention carbon dioxide emissions from the US military and their petroleum fuel use during the war.
 * Where you reference "50 billion carbon emissions," I would include units, i.e., 50 billion [insert unit such as tons] of carbon emissions
 * If you can, I would make note of the significance of Lake Sawa, Therthar, and Habbaniyah, which you mention, to the people living in the region. Lake Sawa, particularly, has historical/Islamic religious and medicinal significance. This would also help in better addressing Wikipedia's equity gaps and historically underrepresented experiences.
 * To further address historically underrepresented experiences, I would use wording that emphasizes the impact on Iraq civilians. For example, instead of saying "where about 22% (9.5 million ha) of the farmland in Iraq have been unable to grow barley," I would instead say "where Iraqi farmers have been unable to grow barley on 22% (9.5 million ha) of their farmland." I might also mention the significance of barley to Iraqi people.

Tone and Balance

 * I would remove the third sentence of the lead, which is as follows: "The environmental impact of the Iraq war depends on the amount of damage caused by the operation of the military." I find it is not totally necessary/does not add any specific information. I am also wondering if the first sentence of your lead is a claim that has been substantiated - that there has been more of a focus on human than environmental harm. This could come across as having an opinionated tone.
 * Overall, your article otherwise appears to be impartial. Well done. I would just work on including perspectives I mentioned in previous sections for a better balance.

Sources and References

 * Nice work in taking from peer-reviewed sources. There are a few mistakes I have found, though, in your references and improvements I would make, which I have listed below.
 * In your lead, where you say, "the pollution from the military activities that have caused on the environment is often buried in the enormous people suffering," I might reword this unless you have found a source which supports the idea that attention has been drawn away from the environmental impacts of the war.
 * There appears to be a duplicate of "Adverse health consequences of the Iraq War" in your reference list. I would remove this. This also means that you might need an additional source to have a sufficient number of references, as there would only be four with the duplicate removed.
 * As stated above, I would include information from more current sources, post-2016, to touch on any developments in the after effects of the war/new information/data. I would also include sources from a more diverse spectrum of authors, which could be found in international journals.
 * The following information, implying that most impacts are not immediately recognized, should have a source: "Nevertheless, the extent of destruction caused to the environment will not likely be recognized until long after the war has passed." I would also specify whether you mean these impacts are not recognized by local people, government, or the media/international community.
 * The following statements should be cited, as they contain specific data/specifies a quantities and locations of impact:
 * "over 130 million gallons of oil have been leaked to the Sawa, Therthar, and Habbaniyah lakes."
 * "Throughout the warfare, the US military dispatched a massive number of fighter jets, dropping approximately 25000 tons of aviation bombs to the ground. As a result, it caused serious environmental pollution and physical damage."
 * "The research from UK Atomic Energy Authority shows that in 2005, the cancer rate was increased by 35% compared to 2003."
 * The following statements should also be cited so they can be verified:
 * "The United States military has used the ammunition made from depleted Uranium during the Iraq war to pierce tank armour."
 * "As a result, the surrounding freshwater ecosystem will be polluted and can impact the species' habitat." (should be cited as it specifies a freshwater ecosystem)
 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
 * In comparing your sources to your content, it cannot seem to find some of what you have written in the corresponding sources you have referenced. You may have forgotten to include some sources. The places where I see this are as follows:
 * I cannot find the "more than 736 oil wells," "more than 50 billion carbon emissions," "130 million gallons of oil," or "5000 birds of 3 species were killed around lake Sawa" in your reference, "Editorial: Loyalty, Integrity, Reality: Environmental Consequences of the War in Iraq"
 * You say "farmland in Iraq have been unable to grow barley," but your reference "Adverse health consequences of the Iraq War" does not appear to mention agriculture
 * The following statements do not seem to correspond to their inline citation of "Environmental pollutions associated to conflicts in Iraq and related health problems." I would double check them.
 * "During the Iraq war, more than 250 chemical industries and armament factories were destroyed by the air force, which caused over 50000 cubic meters of hazardous chemicals such as fertilizer, and raw sewage to leak into the water."
 * "The research from World Wildlife Fund for Nature shows that 33 Iraq wetlands, especially Mesopotamian Marshland, have been contaminated by chemicals, which has caused 60 types of mammal species to lose their habitats, and more than 45 types of plants have been extinct."

Organization

 * The content you have added is well-organized - your section titles fit to their content
 * You have a very well written article, but there are certain places that could be improved grammar and clarity-wise. Below, I have copied the sections of your article and bolded additions that I would make and crossed out what I would remove.
 * For your lead, I would make the following changes:
 * "Throughout the Iraq war, the pollution and environmental degradation from military activities that have caused on the environment is often buried in the enormous people human suffering. Nevertheless, the extent of environmental destruction caused to the environmen t will not likely be recognized until long after the war has passed. The environmental impact of the Iraq war depends on the amount of damage caused by the operation of the military. The environmental consequences caused by of military activities include d oil pollution, radioactive contamination, and ecosystem destruction through air force bombing."
 * For your subsection on oil pollution, I would make the following changes:
 * "The m Military operations in Iraq has have led to the oil spills, which have increased the carbon emissions and contaminated the surrounding water resources. During the Iraq war, the retreating forces of the Iraqi army damaged the oil infrastructure and destroyed more than 736 oil wells in the southern oil fields . As a result, it led to there were , resulting in massive oil spills and ignited the ignition of fires due to bombing. In 2003, more than 50 billion carbon emissions were produced from the burning oil field and released into the atmosphere. Also, over 130 million gallons of oil have been leaked to the Sawa, Therthar, and Habbaniyah lakes. The r Research shows that between 2003 to 2010, there are more than 5000 birds of 3 species were killed around lake Sawa. In addition, the oil spill has impacted human health, where more than a hundred thousand people have a health are at risk of neurological disorders and skin irritations. "
 * For your subsection on radioactive contamination, I would make the following changes:
 * "The United States military has used the ammunition made from depleted Uranium during the Iraq war to pierce tank armour. The r Research shows that the US military has used about 1000 to 2000 tonnes of uranium ammunition, which has caused the radioactive ammunition fragments that contain radioactive materia l to spread across the country. The UNEP report shows those that radioactive material has contaminated air and soil, where in 2008, the radioactive concentration found in Iraqi soil was 709.52. The high level of radiation has caused the prevented plants, especially crop seeds, to not be from sprouting, where ; about 22% (9.5 million ha) of the farmland in Iraq have has been unable to grow barley. In addition, radiation contamination can cause neurocognitive disorders, congenital disabilities, and lung cancer. The r Research from UK Atomic Energy Authority shows that in 2005, the cancer rate was increased by 35% compared to 2003. As a result, it has caused there have been half a million cancer deaths over the past decade. "
 * For your subsection on ecosystem destruction, I would make the following changes:
 * "Throughout the warfare, the US military dispatched a massive number of fighter jets, dropping approximately 25000 tons of aviation bombs to the ground . As a result, resulting in it caused serious environmental pollution and physical damage. During the Iraq war, more than 250 chemical industries and armament factories were destroyed by the air force, which caused over 50000 cubic meters of hazardous chemicals such as fertilizer, and raw sewage to leak into the water. As a result, the surrounding freshwater ecosystem will became polluted and can impact the species' habitat . The r Research from World Wildlife Fund for Nature shows that 33 Iraqi wetlands, especially Mesopotamian Marshland, have been contaminated by chemicals, which has caused 60 types of mammal species to lose their habitats, and more than 45 types of plants have been to become extinct. "
 * Anything that belongs to Iraq should be written as Iraqi, with an "i" at the end, i.e., Iraqi wetlands

Images and Media

 * Remember to include 3 images before submitting your article.

Overall impressions
Overall, your content and sources are good and written unbiasedly. I would focus on ensuring you are citing the correct sources and editing for grammar and clarity.