User:Yaatch/Partial melting/Naeim9146 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Yaatch


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Yaatch/Partial melting
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Partial melting

Overall
Great article. This added a decent amount of information to Wikipedia. You're missing citations here and there and there are maybe issues as listed below. There is so much detail here that is good but very difficult to summarize for the average reader - that is the difficulty we all have in writing an article - choosing what is necessary to add and what isn't. Because we have come so far in our technical degrees, maybe we tend to forget the level of the average reader. The information you have presented is very well researched. I think lots of improvements can be made in summarizing the information for the target audience. Your organization is really good as you listed parameters and then mechanisms - you explained what it depends on and how it happens in sequence.

Reconsider who uses Wikipedia and who the target audience is. It is easy to get lost in technical writing here as we are pursuing technical degrees. But this place is for the average reader. Not the geo-chemist.

Lead section
Lead section maybe a bit too large and detailed. If you ask a smart speaker about partial melting - it will likely use the lead section on Wikipedia. Maybe consider summarizing the entire thing in a few sentences and moving the rest to other sections.

Personally felt that "solidus" and "liquidus" were too complicated for me to understand the first explanation (lead section) of partial melting. Maybe consider putting solidus and liquidus in the later portions with their links.

"Since conduction alone is incapable of heating large masses of rock to the point of melting (with the exception of a few volcanic centers, e. g. Yellowstone), the main processes that govern partial melting are decompression melting and flux melting." - maybe add one line of explanation as to why - that it is slow and inefficient and not enough extarnal heat to drive a melting - I got that from your citation - also this is maybe un-necessary in your lead section.

"Partial melting is also linked to the formation of natural resources" - the word "natural resources" is too broad a term in my opinion. Maybe just say ore deposits.. and maybe link to "Ore"

Your references are really good and this is a well researched article. However - some sources are very old and may not represent current knowledge - 1972/1989 - understanding of partial melting may have changed since then. I am not sure of this and this is only speculation.

Under "Parameters"
" The chemical composition of rocks affects their melting points and the final product of partial melting. For example, melts obtained experimentally from sedimentary rocks, such as shales and graywacke preserved the amount of sodium and potassium in the source rocks " - what does it mean that melts "preserved" the Na and K in the source rocks? - does it mean that the melts have the same amount of Na and K in the source rocks.. or... does it mean that the melt is responsible for the source rock maintaining the original amount of Na and K. - this sentence is maybe difficult for the average reader to understand.

No citation for the entire Pressure and Temperature section - over simplified explanation in my opinion. I understand that there is a diagram on the live article to support this. Maybe include a more detailed figure caption under the diagram - something on the lines of .......the bulk composition of the solid changes towards Cs and the the recently melted liquid initially has the composition C_L that changes to be more like the bulk composition as the temperature rises.... temperature composition diagrams are not immediately understood to the average reader - they'll need a bit more explanation. (my opinion).

Also - this image has a blacked out section on it. Maybe use the same image without that. I've linked it here and it is by the same uploader - https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/archive/d/d4/20100901163639%21Partial_Melting_Phase_Diagram.svg

'' "Furthermore, some authors consider that volatiles control the stability of minerals and the chemical reactions that happen during partial melting. However, some others assign a more subordinate role to volatiles." '' - Maybe reconsider the word "authors" here... maybe just state that the it is debatable or something. I understand that neutrality is an aspect here - perhaps just state that there are conflicting arguments and cite the arguments.

Under "Mechanisms"
'' "The main mechanisms responsible for partial melting are decompression melting, followed by flux melting." '' - don't think there is a need for the word "followed" - this kind of indicates a melting mechanics hierarchy - is there one?

Really good simple explanations of the mechanisms. Was easy for me to understand. However, for the section on Decompression melting- maybe too technical for average reader who doesn't immediately know what an 'adiabatic' reduction is.

"At seafloor spreading zones (mid-ocean ridges), hot peridotite ascending from the mantle undergoes partial melting due to a decrease in pressure, generating a basaltic melt and a solid phase. This melt when extruded in the surface is responsible for the creation of new oceanic crust. In continental rifts, where the lithosphere is colder and more rigid, decompression melting occurs when material from the hot and more plastic asthenosphere is transported to lower pressures." - This entire section is uncited. Also I dont think its "extruded to" - it might be "extruded on" - please recheck the grammar here.

'' "In the scientific literature the details of this process are thoroughly discussed." '' - Kind of an unnecessary sentence.

The diagram shows the interplay between the solidus and the geotherm with the arrows for different tectonic settings. Perhaps explain how to read the diagram in the caption. Again - the average reader might not understand what a geotherm is or how temperature pressure/depth diagrams work.

Under "Significance"
Most of the significance section is uncited - which makes significance sound like just your opinion on partial melting.

"Partial melts are thought to play an important role in enriching old parts of the continental lithosphere in incompatible elements" - with Wikipedia written for the average reader - the context of this is hard to know - the average reader may ask - "what does it mean for the crust to be enriched with incompatible elements?" or "what is an incompatible element?"

"Partial melts produced at depth move upwards due to the compaction of the surrounding matrix." - too much detail and isn't obviously relevant to the significance section.

Also - listing the series of ore deposit types for which partial melting is associated with is maybe too much detail and unnecessary in the significance section.