User:YamilBar/Heteroromantic Bisexuality/Jadams25 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

YamilBar


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:YamilBar/Heteroromantic Bisexuality


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Heteroromantic Bisexuality

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overview:

I think you're off to a good start. Solid definition of what heteroromantic bisexuality is, I can tell you were careful with your wording in order to match with what you've in your research references. If you can find a way to make it more concise that would be great, because at the moment it reads a little awkwardly, but again I understand that you are being specific in your phrasing here.

Specifics & Suggestions::

As for my suggestions, I think I would work on phrasing in your definition of what heteroromantic bisexuality is, because it did take me a second read over to understand what makes it differ from bisexuality. I think mentioning that it is a subset of bisexuality is really important to convey to the reader--for me this cleared up any confusion I had from the first sentence immediately. I would suggest mentioning this at the beginning of your definition to prime the reader that this is similar to the traditional understanding of bisexuality, but with the specific component of the romantic attraction to the opposite sex included, i.e. "Heteroromantic Bisexuality--a subset of Bisexuality--is the romantic attraction toward people of the opposite gender ... "

Closing:

Overall I think you're off to a good start, and I look forward to seeing the final result! GOOD WORK! :-)