User:Yanakigel1/Hemp/Sedith7 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Yanakigel1


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Yanakigel1/Hemp


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Hemp

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead:

Nothing has been added to the lead of the article.

Content:

The content of the article is informative and relevant to hemp. However there are some major issues that I have found. In the first paragraph (Building materials). An entire section has been directly copy and pasted. The citation that was provided does not contain the information. However, it is word for word from ( https://beaconpro360.com/hempcrete/.)

“ panelized system of hemp-lime panels for use in building construction is currently under test in a European Union-funded research collaboration led by the University of Bath. The panels are being designed to assure high-quality construction, rapid on-site erection, optimal hygrothermal performance from day one, and energy- and resource-efficient buildings. The 36-month work program aims to refine product and manufacturing protocols and produce data for certification and marketing, warranty, insurance cover, and availability of finance. It also includes the development of markets in Britain, France, and Spain”

There are also multiple grammatical mistakes in this section:

Line 2: “versatile in a multitude of use” … should be “versatile in a multitude of uses”

Line 5: “constriction” should be “construction”

Line 6: “HEMP market was at its largest ….” should be “The HEMP market was at its largest….”

Also,  “during it rapid illegalization….”  should be  “during its rapid illegalization”

However, grammatically the rest of the contribution seems to be okay.

Tone and Balance:

The tone and balance of this article is for the most part neutral. I did not overly feel as though I was being persuaded to any particular point of view.

Sources and references:

Most if not all of the citations, barring citation 11,  came from either websites or newspapers, for this reason much of the citations are not from truly reputable sources. Furthermore I came across a few more issues. In the (Hemp concrete) section, citation 12 that was used has nothing to do with HEMP or what you are supposedly citing. It is a research paper on the mitochondrial lineage diversity of a species of water flea “  "Figure 4: Distribution of major Alonella clades (both original and sequences retrieved from NCBI GenBank)". dx.doi.org. Retrieved 2021-02-25.”. I cannot understand why you would put this as a citation for what you wrote. Furthermore, multiple citations are in different languages. Citation 11 in french, and  8,9 and 10 are all websites from the Czheck republic that are entirely written in Czheck,  making it impossible to verify the citation. Also, you have no citations for nearly the entirety of what you actually wrote for your (Hemp insulation) section.

I would suggest using citations from more reputable sources as well as adding more citations in areas such as hemp insulation. There is also an error that needs to be corrected for citation 1. Finally, your citation 18 for ( Hemp wood), I cannot find any of the information that you wrote on this page, It is just a dutch art/architecture studios website.

Organisation:

I found your organisation of the contribution to be very good. The sub categories listed are well chosen and full of informative information.

Images and media:

There are no images added but this was not a requirement of this weeks assignment so there is no issue with this.

Overall Impression:

I think the contribution contains a lot of informative and relevant information. Your choice of categories was also very good organisationally. However, I think your citations are lacking entirely in some parts and not relevant in others (in the case of the mitochondrial DNA of a water flea). I also think most of your links would not be from what would be considered reputable sources. Your grammar is good for the most part except for the first 6 lines of your first section. My biggest issue here is the 8 lines of word for word copy and paste from (https://beaconpro360.com/hempcrete/.) which you did not even cite. Overall I think this contribution needs a lot of work, in proper citations, as well as not copy and pasting material.