User:Yasminemahm./Newcomer education/Grace.jana07 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Yasminemahm


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Yasminemahm./Newcomer_education?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Newcomer education

Evaluate the drafted changes
Awesome additions to this article! My take-aways:

- I offered some copy-editing suggestions which you don't have to take--just word choice and grammar ideas that might make the article additions read more like a Wikipedia article and less like a school paper. For example, you don't have to use in-text citations, and sometimes that muddles the point of what you're trying to say; I would recommend removing any "according to __" type clauses, and instead just state the fact/statistic/etc., and cite the source with the tiny blue number instead.

- Hmmm, language bridges a little bit on a lack of neutrality; maybe go over specific word choices like "countless obstacles" to give more airs of objectivity? The Wiki neutrality policy is ugly but I don't know I think I'm required to note this for peer review... :/

- Are there any wiki articles on trauma-informed care? If not, that's incredibly disappointing, and if so, I think they should definitely be hyperlinked. People need to read a heck of a lot more about that.

- On that note, do you have any more information on the theory of segmented assimilation? Or can there be a hyperlink for that as well?

- You do a great job citing sources and incorporating what you have to offer into the pre-existing article--very smooth.

Great contributions; can't wait to see your final product :)