User:Yaydnew/Food desert/Manorhe18 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Wendy Ayala - Yaydnew


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Yaydnew/Food_desert?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Food desert

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Content
I think there is a lot more you can add in regards to content. For example, in the Farmer's Markets and Community Gardens edit I think you can explain what urban agriculture is, add more citations and research on the benefits and cons of it is, and also name more examples of urban agriculture. Contextualizing Oakland and why it may or may not be a food dessert and how it contributes (are there studies on how urban agriculture has increased food security maybe?) are all helpful to add. The same advice I would give to your writing in the Youth Education section. Overall, I think you need a lot more content (I believe its supposed to be around 500 words for each article) and more detail.

Tone
The tone of your writing is good and neutral, however some of the places in which you places your sentences seem awkward and abrupt. You can work on making it flow better. The viewpoints you added seem biased towards only Oakland and one singular organization, and you can work on the content to create a more encylopedia/ general tone and balance.

Sources and references
There needs to be a lot more sources, I only see one so far. I think as you work on adding content this will be fixed. Overall, very interesting topic!