User:Yeoman Scrap

What's In a Name?
I'm named after a droid from a Star Wars novel:

From Chapter 27 of Jedi Trial, A Clone Wars Novel by David Sherman and Dan Cragg:

"Foth was from New Agamar, stocky, approaching middle age. He grinned back. 'Let's see those promotion packets,' he said to the military protocol droid that had been programmed to be his writer. One of the crew, probably with the droid's connivance, had stenciled a first-class yeoman's chevrons on its forehead. The crew's name for the droid was Yeoman Scrapheap."

=Stories=

My user page really ought not to be blank, but I haven't done anything, so instead I'll just have stories I like. Think of it like a more legible lorem ipsum.

Accident Prone Mitch Johnson
From "The Right Stuff" by Tom Wolfe:

"The three of them—even in the midst of this bad string!—would love to get on a subject such as accident-prone Mitch Johnson. Accident-prone Mitch Johnson, it seemed, was a Navy pilot whose life was in the hands of two angels, one of them bad and the other one good. The bad angel would put him into accidents that would have annihilated any ordinary pilot, and the good angel would bring him out of them without a scratch. Just the other day—this was the sort of story Jane would hear them tell—Mitch Johnson was coming in to land on a carrier. But he came in short, missed the flight deck, and crashed into the fantail, below the deck. There was a tremendous explosion, and the rear half of the plane fell into the water in flames. Everyone on the flight deck said, “Poor Johnson. The good angel was off duty.” They were still debating how to remove the debris and his mortal remains when a phone rang on the bridge. A somewhat dopey voice said, “This is Johnson. Say, listen, I’m down here in the supply hold and the hatch is locked and I can’t find the lights and I can’t see a goddamned thing and I tripped over a cable and I think I hurt my leg.” The officer on the bridge slammed the phone down, then vowed to find out what morbid sonofabitch could pull a phone prank at a time like this. Then the phone rang again, and the man with the dopey voice managed to establish the fact that he was, indeed, Mitch Johnson. The good angel had not left his side. When he smashed into the fantail, he hit some empty ammunition drums, and they cushioned the impact, leaving him groggy but not seriously hurt. The fuselage had blown to pieces; so he just stepped out onto the fantail and opened a hatch that led into the supply hold. It was pitch black in there, and there were cables all across the floor, holding down spare aircraft engines. Accident-prone Mitch Johnson kept tripping over these cables until he found a telephone. Sure enough, the one injury he had was a bruised shin from tripping over a cable. The man was accident-prone! Pete and Wally and Jim absolutely cracked up over stories like this. It was amazing. Great sports yarns! Nothing more than that."

=Stats=