User:Yeulefan4l/Thomas Grubb/MasonFleming44 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Yeulefan4l, Red9qg


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Yeulefan4l/Thomas_Grubb?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Thomas Grubb

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * I like how you included links to other people or places that Grubb was involved with


 * The article could have headings for different things talked about instead of just starting new paragraphs
 * A link on the word "magnetometers" could be useful
 * There should be cited references after almost every sentence
 * If Grubb and Romney Robinson did anything together you can talk about that
 * Was the 13.3 inch lens also used to see Halley's comet in 1835?
 * Why was the project for the telescope in the southern hemisphere a failure?
 * The additions could use better transitions from sentence to sentence
 * I'm having trouble understanding where each sentence belongs in the article. So, you could possibly just copy the whole article in your sandbox and then add your sentences in and bold what you added.
 * You could mention other devices that Grubbs company made
 * In your references, add the page numbers where you are gathering the information from