User:Yiwang13/Data Diplomacy/Grilledtandoorismoke Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Yiwang13


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Yiwang13/Data Diplomacy


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead


 * In need of a lead section.

Data Diplomacy – Definition


 * If you adjust sentence structure and try to fit this into something more concise, you could easily repurpose this section into a Lead for your article!
 * "Data can help and influence numerous aspects of the diplomatic process, such as information gathering, negotiations, consular services, humanitarian response, foreign policy development, etc."
 * How would data do so? How is data deployed in diplomacy?
 * The second half of your second paragraph and your third paragraph both need embedded citations.
 * How has data diplomacy risen? Where is it being used as a form of soft power? How is this being accomplished?

Classification and Application Areas


 * I would recommend three separate embedded citations for each subcategories you mention here for each respective article/authors you list.

Data in Diplomacy


 * Need embedded citations here.
 * "Such type of diplomacy does not restrict to diplomats but also occurs between institutions and the public"
 * This reads a bit awkwardly. You might want to revisit sentence structure here to make it read better. E.g. This type of diplomacy is not restricted to diplomats…

Diplomacy for Data


 * Need embedded citations here.
 * You might also like to link to the Wikipedia pages for the organizations you list!

Data for Diplomacy


 * Need embedded citations here.
 * "Data for Diplomacy means the creation of platforms by data experts around the world, where the role of diplomats is primarily to facilitate the creation of such relationships and to leverage the value of data as soft power. Applications include the use of big data in UN humanitarian volunteer programs."
 * Sentence structure here reads just a bit awkwardly. Would be worth experimenting with sentence structure here. It’s also a bit vague, may need a bit more explanation.
 * It is worth noting that the three subcategories of data diplomacy are inevitably overlapping
 * You might also want to move this prior to your descriptions of each subcategory to provide more context for readers.

Potential Areas - Potential areas of what?

Public Diplomacy


 * Embedded citations
 * How is this significant? What context does this add to your article?

Information Collection and Sharing


 * Citations

Risks and Limitations

Privacy and Security


 * Citations

Data Accuracy


 * Citations.

Human Rights Protection and Ethical Standards


 * Citations.

General Comments


 * Overall, your article reads well aside from a few awkward sentence structures.
 * Your tone and style may also need adjusting to comply with Wikipedia’s standards.
 * Be sure to provide citations for every claim you make, even if you're paraphrasing ideas.
 * Your article would be much improved by providing examples of you're talking about.
 * You may also want to consider thinking about the “So, what?” factor. Why are these subcategories important and necessary? What makes them significant? Your article is concise but lacks detail in a few areas which may benefit from adding more context or detail.
 * Regardless, your article forms a great basis for your subject! It just needs a little bit of adjusting, and it should be good!