User:Yk0302/User:Doublebassplayerv/Melvin Dunlap/Tofu98 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Doubebassplayerv


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Doublebassplayerv/Melvin Dunlap


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Melvin Dunlap

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead addition of the lead section and gear is useful and adds needed structure to the article. I would recommend adding blue links to relevant articles mentioned in each section. Maybe include a little bit about his playing style in the lead section as well. Dr. Wright suggested I include an entire section of my musician's playing style, which I think would benefit your article as well.

If it is possible to find examples of Melvin's playing style through these recordings it might be helpful to add that context and cite the recordings. Within there you could also talk about Melvin's influences, given there are sources for that.

Within the main body it might be useful to break up the large paragraph into two smaller paragraphs that get to the core of the information.

I like how the discography is structured in order of artist they were working for as session player.

The tone is academic and neutral, I think it fits very well within Wikipedia's guidelines.

Great job, looking forward to future edits!