User:Yonakrug/Women in Nigeria/GRogers3 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Yona: @Yonakrug


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Women in Nigeria
 * Women in Nigeria

Evaluate the drafted changes
Hey Yona! Here's my peer review :) Great job!!

Lead
Guiding questions:


 * Has the Lead been updated to reflect the new content added by your peer?
 * I think so? I'm a little confused as to whether your introduction and brief history section is a stand-alone section or if it represents the lead. I think it might be helpful to divide this subsection into two parts: introduction (which would be a brief synopsis on the political role of Nigerian women, it might not even have to be titled as this can serve as the lead) and Political History.
 * Does the Lead include an introductory sentence that concisely and clearly describes the article's topic?
 * Right now, the intro paragraph feels a little drawn out. You include a lot of really important information in it, but, like I said before, it might be helpful to split this section into two in order to have space to succinctly state your main points before diving into the meat of the article. Maybe you could even divide this history section into cultural and political history subsections, which might help with organization a little bit.
 * Does the Lead include a brief description of the article's major sections?
 * As of now, there isn't a brief discription of the major subsections in the article. I think this is because this article is a subsection the larger Women in Nigeria article, which makes sense as to why there isn't a synopsis. Still, I feel like if you did include one, it would be super beneficial to the reader!
 * Does the Lead include information that is not present in the article?
 * No lead.
 * Is the Lead concise or is it overly detailed?
 * No lead.

Content
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added relevant to the topic?
 * Yes. In the introduction paragraph, it might be helpful to expressly tie in what you were talking about with Islam, Christianity, and religiosity with the political realm, especially when you talk about how divorde is looked down upon and women must provide sex at their husbands' demand. This seems more of a social issue which would make sense in that section of the women in Nigeria article, but it feels slightly out of place here. You make the connection to politics later on in the challenges with tradition section, but you might also want to make the correlation clearer in the intro section.
 * Is the content added up-to-date?
 * Yes.
 * Is there content that is missing or content that does not belong?
 * No, besides incorporating the social issues element more precivsely, I think everything is extremely relevant. It might also be helpful to include more information on modern organizations fighting to uphold women's equality, which you do really well with the Women in Nigeria organization. Are there any other NGOs fighting to uphold female equality in Nigerian politics? That would be an interesting addition to the Modern Examples of Reform and Struggle section.
 * Does the article deal with one of Wikipedia's equity gaps? Does it address topics related to historically underrepresented populations or topics?
 * Yes.

Tone and Balance
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added neutral?
 * For the most part, yes. There are some instances where you use adjectives to describe a certain situation, such as when you say that "In 1953, this position was filled unsurprisingly by Mrs Remilekun Iseoluwa Aiyedun." I would omit "unsurprisingly," as it seems as though you were unsurprised that it occured. Maybe say something like: "the heavy favorite, Mrs. Remilekun Iseoluwa Aiyedun, filled the position," or something like that. Also, I would omit the "even" when you say "even a private university's request for girls to prove their virginity prior to study," which conveys your excitement about their successes and doesn't lend itself to neutrality.
 * Are there any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * No, but including more sources would be a great way to ensure your reader that your position is completely unbiased. You rely pretty heavily on source 2 in your challenges with tradition section, so adding more sources here could help improve your neutrality.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * No.
 * Does the content added attempt to persuade the reader in favor of one position or away from another
 * No.

Sources and References
Guiding questions:


 * Is all new content backed up by a reliable secondary source of information?
 * Yes, although sometimes you note the same citation in consecutive sentences. You can just link the citation at the end of the last sentence that references the source. Also, I don't think you want to include primary source material generally in Wikipedia articles, so maybe think about replacing the Al Jazeera newspaper article with something that's secondary in nature. You could definitely add some sources in the Women in Nigeria Organization section, which doesn't have any right now.
 * Does the content accurately reflect what the cited sources say? (You'll need to refer to the sources to check this.)
 * Yes.
 * Are the sources thorough - i.e. Do they reflect the available literature on the topic?
 * Yes, although it would be super helpful to have around 5 more sources to gain a full scope of the topic. This might allow you to add information or build on facts that you already reference in you article and help make sure your article stays as neutral as possible.
 * Are the sources current?
 * Yes, all are from the 21st century.
 * Are the sources written by a diverse spectrum of authors? Do they include historically marginalized individuals where possible?
 * Yes.
 * Are there better sources available, such as peer-reviewed articles in place of news coverage or random websites? (You may need to do some digging to answer this.)
 * Here are some additional sources I found
 * https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1ckph37.19?searchText=nigerian+women&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3Dnigerian%2Bwomen%26so%3Drel&ab_segments=0%2FSYC-6294%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3Acb1b2885838d8233205bfddee256c14e&seq=1
 * This one talks a bit about Nigerian women in prison, which I think could be a really interesting addition to your article especially when you talk about how Nigerian women are often restricted in their political capacity.
 * https://www.jstor.org/stable/40282431?searchText=nigerian+women&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3Dnigerian%2Bwomen%26so%3Drel&ab_segments=0%2FSYC-6294%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3A7758a89d3e50836dc119c548ef58ae2e&seq=1
 * This source talks about indigenous Igbo women and political participation in Nigeria, which could be interesting to talk about in your historical background section (especially the different political participation levels of different Nigerian ethnic groups, which I think might be an important addition!)
 * https://www.jstor.org/stable/90001848?searchText=nigerian+women&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3Dnigerian%2Bwomen%26so%3Drel&ab_segments=0%2FSYC-6294%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3A2f3a70afdc2d285f6771286c49c54b19&seq=1
 * This article talks about the relationship between gender and corruption in Nigeria, which is a super important and relevant issue to your article, especially where you reference clientalism.
 * https://www.jstor.org/stable/4187307?searchText=nigerian+women&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3Dnigerian%2Bwomen%26so%3Drel&ab_segments=0%2FSYC-6294%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3A298dfdbe505f4ddc1a6b73c3bf2125a9&seq=1
 * This article outlines the status of contemporary Nigerian women in politics, which would be a cool addition to your Modern examples of reform section. I also feel like contemporary politics could be a section of its own, separate from reform and struggle or perhaps enveloping that section.
 * https://www.jstor.org/stable/phylon1960.53.2.54?searchText=nigerian+women&searchUri=%2Faction%2FdoBasicSearch%3FQuery%3Dnigerian%2Bwomen%26so%3Drel&ab_segments=0%2FSYC-6294%2Fcontrol&refreqid=fastly-default%3A6f9b218995cb6deefb3368e3bf0bcdc4&seq=1
 * This article talks about political activism in regards to women's rights and how that struggle connects to pan-africanism and black feminism. Also could be a great addition to your historical context section!
 * Check a few links. Do they work?
 * Yes.

Organization
Guiding questions:


 * Is the content added well-written - i.e. Is it concise, clear, and easy to read?
 * It is. I do think, though, that you might want to try and shorten some of your sentences and condensce them into more precise chunks, which could help in enhancing reader comprehension. For example, this sentence could be shortened, or a comma could be added to break it up: "Women could not rise higher than the first electoral college because they did not have support from traditional minded men and not all voting women had the means to support them through the taxpaying suffrage system thus the whole system privileged men aiming higher." In general, work on shortening your sentences so you include just the essential information.
 * Does the content added have any grammatical or spelling errors?
 * "Another more contemporary example, the Feminist Coalition, was formed in October to aid the fight for women's equality."
 * Did you mean to say something other than "199 constitution"?
 * "They employed the highly logical strategy of collecting data on the condition of Nigerian women through research and analysis so that women could advocate for their rights backed by real information."
 * "The Nigerian parliament denied the passing of several gender bills in 2022 resulting in a protest of many Nigerian women in the country's capital."
 * Is the content added well-organized - i.e. broken down into sections that reflect the major points of the topic?
 * Yes, although, like I said before, I would break down your sections even further into subsections to improve organization, such as splitting the introduction into two or adding a section on contemporary politics. I also think you should split apart your challenges with tradition section, which covers an expansive range of topics from religion to clientalism.

Overall impressions
Guiding questions:


 * Has the content added improved the overall quality of the article - i.e. Is the article more complete?
 * Absolutely, you add tremendously onto a really bare-bones section of an important article.
 * What are the strengths of the content added?
 * I love your challenges with tradition section as it provides a lot of helpful information on the intersection of culture and politics in Nigeria and a lot of context for the political situation in modern Nigeria. I also really like how you talk about modern reform and dive into the struggles faced by contemporary Nigerian women, which is incredibly important and relevant.
 * How can the content added be improved?
 * I would definitely try and add more sources to your article, which would help not only expand the information you provide but also help increase its neutrality. Maybe work on enhancing the organization and layout of your article and break apart some of your longer sections into more manageable subsections. Also, I would expand on your modern examples section as I think it's one of the most important in the whole article. Finally, work on making your sentences more concise to make the article even more impactful to the reader. Other than that, great job!