User:YouDubStudent/Fate: The Cursed King/Pisces Unicorn Peer Review

General info

 * YouDubStudent
 * User:YouDubStudent/Fate: The Cursed King

Lead evaluation
There is no lead in the draft sandbox, but you definitely need to write a lead. I strongly recommend the tutorial in the wikiedu.org dashboard for our class as a resource to help you write out your lead.

Content Evaluation
General Information & System Requirements


 * The section you have called "General Information" may be better formatted as a template. I suggest looking at video game wikipedia pages that are rated as rank FA or B or Good to find templates that may help you organize this information in an easier to read format. Right now the general section reads as a list more than an encyclopedic entry.


 * The system requirements section might be better added to an info box or a navbox template. i.e. Destiny 2's Reception box

Aspects of Fate: The Cursed King

Gameplay
I think this section is a good, in-depth explanation of the mechanics and controller mapping the game uses, however it is a bit too detailed about how the game is played compared to what people are saying about the gameplay. It needs more citations from secondary sources. Maybe check articles in Video Game publications about the game and use them as references to inform how you ought to explain gameplay and also for references you can use in your citation. Just be careful to put anything you write in your own words to avoid plagarism or copy right violation. I also noticed a typo where you used "witch" instead of "which." To help with grammar and sentence structure I highly recommend using the free online version of grammarly.com.

Weapons and Armor
I think you could easily expand this section by adding information about the inspirations of the weapon and armor design on the part of the development team. What real world weapons and armor may have inspired them? What region of the world are the designs modeled on? Is it supposed to look like fantasy armor? What previous games influenced the design of the character's equipped items? Look for interviews with the development team for citations in this section, and here I think video game publications and magazines may be helpful. Try using the online UW libraries to search for these articles and publications online or to order scans/copies.

Tone and balance evaluation
Try to remove any use of the words "you" or "I" and be careful about your use of the phrase "the player."

I also noticed that you called the procedural based dungeon creation unique, I think you mean to say that it was one of the first games to use this methodology? Since, now, procedural based dungeon creation is more common.

The sections you have added appear to be very straight-forward and seem to draw much of the information from the primary source (the game itself). It comes across like you have been playing the game and are now describing it. In order to better fit the Wikipedia style try to read a few examples of encyclopedia entries about other video games to get a grasp of the way your article should sound. Read the articles out loud to learn how they feel when you hear them.

Try to make sure when you are writing that you are not using entire sentences as transitional phrases, (i.e. "The customization does not stop there") otherwise it comes across as promotional in tone.

Sources and references evaluation
Try not to use Wiki fandom as a reference if you can help it.

The url in your first citation appears to be broken?

Overall good use of citations regularly and throughout. Try to choose more academic or news oriented sources to add variability and add to the reliability of the content.

Organizational evaluation
"Overall your organization makes sense. I only suggest writing more in-depth about each section so that it becomes closer to a C class article in length and coverage."

Overall evaluation
I think you still have a lot of work to do but that it is coming along nicely and if you add more content you will be on the right track. I highly recommend visiting the Odegaard Writing Center for help with the style, structure, and readability. You can make an appointment with them online and let them know you are practicing writing an encyclopedia-style entry.

Keep up the good work!