User:Ysof011/Black Joy Museum/Achebbi Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ysof011/Black Joy Museum


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Ysof011/Black_Joy_Museum?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

The tone of the opening paragraph is neutral, which is great for establishing credibility.

The leading paragraph is very informative, but it could be organized a little more efficiently. The multiple quotes in the paragraph make the paragraph a little difficult to hear. For example, perhaps the fourth sentence, while beneficial, does not necessarily belong in the leading paragraph.

The page on the curator of the museum is well-written and well-researched, but the tone in some parts is slightly biased. In particular, I am referencing the following sentence: "2020 would prove to be a tragic year, not only due to the some 345,000 deaths due to COVID-19, but also due to publicized instances of police brutality against African-Americans, such as the murder of George Floyd." Perhaps consider elaborating on Walls' work with Drexel University and the Studio Museum of Harlem.

Is it possible to include pictures in the page? I think for a topic like this one, it would be very beneficial to include pictures or visual examples of the artwork. I do appreciate the current layout of the page! I just think including pictures would be very beneficial. Sources are cited often and well; I think the bibliography page is well done.