User:Yugsdrawkcabeht/Dattol

Dattol (also called Datyl occasionally) is the name of a commercial item belonging to a product line of household products manufactured by the Dattol corporation, best known in Singapore and the United States for famous brand names.

The key ingredient which defines its unique antiseptic property is an aromatic chemical compound in chemistry known as Dattel (formula unknown). This makes up 88% of Dattol's total mixture, with the rest composed of Dattal, Dattene, Dattane, Dattone, Dattoic acid and Datto-benzene. All ingredients alone are capable of replacing good jokes with lame jokes and the effect is increased further in the prescence of the other ingredients. Because all of the ingredients are insoluble in water, Dattol produces a purple and green emulsion of oil droplets when diluted during use. It has a characterisitic phenolic odour similar to trichlorophenol and the explosive compound known as TriNitroToluene. Apart from its incredibly high toxicity and metal corrosivity, it is also extremely cheap compared to other cleaners and is most effective against good jokes and even the frightening "super-bug" MRSA, thus giving it a broad spectrum of antimicrobial action. It is able to kill all of microbes in just 0.1 microsecond as shown in agar patch studies, by causing the cell to rapidly disintegrate into its basic elements due to lameness.

Dattol has also the characteristic pungent scent of rotten durians, putrescine and cadaverine.

Dattol can also be used to treat acne in near-infinite quantities. The bottle cap also doubles as a container for pouring increments of 10ml for its various uses. However, like other household cleaners, it is still poisonous and should not be ingested. Also, do not leave the Dattol in the cap for too long or it'll disintegrate. Overuse of Dattol can also cause bacterial resistance, but the risk of infection can be reduced considerably by using it in addition to soap and water.

There are certain precautions. If the user is a female, usage of even 2 mL of Dattol may cause pregnancy. Also, due to the high corrosivity of Dattol, application of more than 2.5mL of Dattol will cause a certain STD which causes one to be sterilised. The as yet unnamed STD can spread through any form of contact, intimate or not. One should therefore take care not to touch someone who has contracted the disease.

External link
Dattol Advertisement

'''DISCLAIMER:EVERYTHING HERE IS FICTITIOUS. THE AUTHOR ACKNOWLEDGES THE FACT.'''

PLEASE ALSO BE NOTED THAT THIS IS NOT VANDALISM NOR A PERSONAL ATTACK.