User:Yunfeng Ge/Edalorhina perezi/Elwhoelwu Peer Review

A lot of really yummy info added to the entry! The mating and parental care sections were really well written; they had great flow. The section on description I understand its a tedium to digest for the reader and much easier to leave it as is w/ the anatomical terminology but jargon makes it impossible to read for the average reader. I made some minor grammar and wording edits in the rest of the entry. Overall solid job :)

Lead

Changed passive to active voice

Removed, “However, this was assessed in 2004, so an update is needed.” Appears to be an opinion?

Description

“The body is a concave shape” this is unclear

Removed comma splices

General grammar edits

Removed colorful words like decorated and assumptive words like random

Explain instead of using jargon e.g. dextral vent tube, terminal oral discs, filiform median ridge, etc.

Geographical Variation

I feel like this section was paraphrased instead of summarized, there is too much jargon

Habitat and Distribution, Diet, and Mating

These sections are well written, concise, and easy to read/understand. The Mating section is really well done.

Reproduction and Life Cycle

“the tadpoles grow to a total length of 10.5 mm.” removed because it appears to be discontinued Elwhoelwu (talk) 01:17, 19 October 2022 (UTC)

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