User:Yungqab/sandbox

Jonathan "Yung King" "Phillipe" "Vardeh" Jaffe is a recent graduate of Cornell University, with a double major in both Abraham Lincoln and Hip Hop. Born and raised on Earth, Jaffe first gained media attention through recently graduating, where his neck was burdened with the weight of seven million cords. He received wider notice after eating a peanut last week, cannibalism being frowned upon in society. In 2015, Jaffe's net earnings totaled $2, which he donated to his local Kmart in exchange for a can of Pringles.

Health
Jaffe takes vitamin B6 every morning because his mom says so.

He goes to the doctor a lot because he thinks he has cancer.

He uses an inhaler before talking to girls.

Relationships
"The most important relationship in life is the one you have with your hair." - Jaffe, every morning in the mirror.

Nevertheless, Jaffe cultivates strong personal relationships with many of his favorite things:

Fame
Jaffe likes to think of himself as Drake's mentor, despite having been discovered on the streets of London last year by A$AP.

He is known for unparalleled skill in Dungeons and Dragons, Fantasy Basketball, and Spreading.

Future Plans
Jaffe hopes to rip less holes in his clothes, and maybe give birth to a few more cats.