User:Yusef Asabiyah

Um, hi there,

You don't know me, and I doubt you care a damn. And yet...And yet... If you knew me, how happy you'd be. Your arm pits would smell of marzipan, your genitalia...of marigolds. Your eyes would resemble nastertiums, even when you were awake. Yes, you'd be happy then. Your life would have a fulness and a glory seldom known on this earthly sphere. Let's face it... the experience would be better than orgasm, and less -- much less -- susceptible to the risk of prosecution, child support, and alimony on the (not) off-chance that things went sour. You see, I am not neutral or neuter. I don't get pregnant, though. Nope. Not a goin' to do. Wouldn't be prudent. I'm going to leave that to the "others." The ones with spectacular nipples. The ones with the glands for that sort of thing. I didn't say I didn't have limitations. I do. It's just that the ones I have are the happy ones. The glorious ones. The ones that make you want to sing, or tap dance. The ones that make me go round,round,round, slap happy. Those are the ones I offer as gift, to you. Because... You know me now. You've read this far, and you know me, and I hope you'll burp,fart, and laugh... You're this much more happy and glad. Amen.