User:Zac.israel/Jovita González/Ayrielmarie Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Zac.israel


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://dashboard.wikiedu.org/users/Zac.israel
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * User:Zac.israel/Jovita González

Evaluate the drafted changes
I have provided a grammatically edited version of your paper below. Please look into the edits. Edited Version

Jovita González was a well-respected Mexican-American folklorist that focused on retelling stories about the "violence between the Mexican American minority and the dominant Anglos." As a result from her Texas childhood, she experienced a disconnect between Mexican-Americans and the Anglos. As a result, she made sure that she promoted Mexican-American culture and tried to ease the tensions between each group.

Background and upbringing[edit]
Jovita González was born in Roma, Texas on January 18, 1904 to Jacob González Rodríguez and Severina Guerra Barrera. She was born into an exciting family. Her father's side became filled with hardworking, educated Mexicans: "My father, Jacob González Rodríguez, a native of Cadereyta, Nuevo León, came from a family of educators and artisans." On the other hand, her mother's family were descendants of the Spanish colonizers: "Both my maternal grandparents came from a long line of colonizers who had come with Escandón to El Nuevo Santander." Jovita was the fourth out of her parents' seven children. As a youth, her parents decided to move the family from Roma to San-Antonio, Texas to receive a better education.

Lead

I would add a lead sentence about the specific genres' the author focuses on. Also, I would not begin the paragraph with a quote. Perhaps, add this to the body of the paragraph. Also, as seen in the edits, I made the lead sentencing a bit more concise. It can appear wordy. Also, if found, include Jovita's childhood events in which she specifically noted a divide between Chicanos and Anglo-Americans. I would also include her educational background in the lead paragraph. I would add a closing, summation sentence to each paragraph. It makes the paragraph more cohesive.

Content

I would certainly add more information to both sections so they do not appear empty. This can include more about the author's childhood or her importance and scholarly intervention on Mexican-American literature. Yet, I understand this is the beginning stages. However, if you would like me to comment on future drafts please email me ayriel.marie.coleman@emory.edu.

Tone and Balance

This content appears very neutral. Perhaps one of this article's strengths, I do not notice any bias in your narrative style. Also, your writing is supported by your sources while you did not add opinions. Great work!

'''Sources and References '''Although this is the beginning stages of your draft, I would definitely add sources. There are a variety of sources on the web to assist your research. To elucidate, I have linked a couple below that may be helpful! However, your usage of the Norton Anthology is a fantastic start! I know the author biography will prove very useful for your research. I can recognize the Norton Anthology as an unbiased, current source. Interestingly, when I clicked on a few of your links they did not work. I am sure this is a technological issue. If possible, please look into this.

https://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/entries/gonzalez-de-mireles-jovita

https://www.caller.com/story/news/local/2020/03/06/influential-women-south-texas-jovita-gonzalez-mireles/4831881002/

https://thisbridgecalledcyberspace.net/FILES/2405.pdf

Organization

The content had grammatical and spelling errors. Also, some of the sentencing is wordy and thus confusing for the audience. I edited both out in my revision. I do appreciate the sections in which you organized the paragraphs. This allows the audience to skim through and find necessary information. Very useful!

Images and Media

N/A It may be useful to include an image of the beloved author.

New Article

N/A

Overall Impressions

Fantastic start! Just a note, be weary of adding unnecessary quotes. Only utilize quotes if it is absolutely necessary for the comprehension of the audience. All in all, I believe with more sources and adding onto the biography and background sections, this can be a great addition to her currently underwhelming wikipedia article! These changes would assist your research and allow more thorough interpretation. Also, it simply adds more words (which we have to get to 600). I appreciate your tone and narrative voice. Also, your organization is superb! I will be adding your organizational style to my article.