User:Zac.israel/Jovita González/ChujieQiu0614 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing Zac's work.


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Zac.israel/Jovita González


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think Zac started his work with a good lead, because the lead briefly introduced who Jovita González is and introduced her occupation. The lead also gives you an idea of the content that Zac is going to present to you because it talks about how González's upbringing allows her to feel the disconnect between the Mexican-Americans and the Anglo Americans to involve these in her works. The content he focused on later adheres to this introduction, so I think the two are very connected. The article also does very well in giving you specific dates in the draft so that you get an accurate idea of what time the person was living in. Beside these strengths, I did notice some parts where Zac can improve on:


 * 1) The tone of the article seems not very neutral in some minor details, for instance, in your second paragraph you used subjective adjective such as: "interesting" and "hardworking", I feel like they should be change into more objective phrases that does not suggests a subjective emotion. "Interesting" can sounds more objective if it is " might be intriguing to others", because the former sounds too much like a subjective opinion, while the latter sounds more like a fact. Even if such words are to be included, I feel like they should be part of a quotes from someone else rather than your own opinions.
 * 2) I feel like it would be better if you paraphrase the quotes instead of including them in the Wikipedia entries, because I think I read something about use less quotes but paraphrase more in the Wikipedia training modules. Or you can elaborate on the source of the quotes more clearly if they are to be included because right now, even though the content of the quotes suggest they come from Jovita González herself, it would be better for you to explain where and whom the quote is from. For example, you can talk about when she said this so that the readers might know more about the authoritativeness of the source.

Overall, I still think the draft is very great. I certainly learnt more about Jovita González by reading it. The draft also inspires me to include some interview of the author of the book I am researching on, so it is very helpful for me in that regard as well.