User:Zach arias 777/Homosexuality in American football/Gracekmeyers Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Zacharias777


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Homosexuality in American football

Evaluate the drafted changes[edit]
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)


 * 1) First, what does the article do well?
 * 2) The article has a structured outline of representation of homosexuality in American football. There is a detailed list of each homosexual football player who came out with their highest level of play and division, which is helpful for finding out more information on the player. Each player is also hyperlinked to their own wiki page, which is helpful to learn more about them. The language is easy to read and has a neutral tone.
 * 3) What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article?
 * 4) I would organize the Reception section of the article more, either by creating sub sections or dividing into new sections. That section has a lot of different teams and player’s perspectives, which I think can get confusing when trying to extrapolate the general consensus of how homosexuality and coming out is received by American football teams/coaches.
 * 5) Why would those changes be an improvement?
 * 6) This would help to get the information organized. I think you could find more sources to add to this section as well, specifically displaying negative receptions by teams in the past.
 * 7) What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?
 * 8) I would like to know about the history of homosexuality in American football and the progression of acceptance levels by teams. Making a brief timeline would be a good contribution you could make! On the timeline, you could include anti-discrimination laws and their impact on acceptance in football teams as well.
 * 9) Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article?
 * 10) Yes, I noticed a reception section on this article that I think my article should have. I am working on Cartoon Network and LGBTQ Representation, and have already started too add information I found about negative reception by conservative/religious groups.