User:Zeezee7/Lee Quede/Snowdrop1995 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Zeezee7


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * 


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * no wikipedia page on Lee Quede in english

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
There is no Lead section yet. (Yes! Thank you for mentioning this. I have to add Lead and introductory sentences about the artist to make a brief description of what are the major sections of this article are about).

Content
The article deals with a topic that is underrepresented, which is great!

The 'Early Life' section covers more information about Lee's brother than Lee himself. Maybe that information can be phrased in a more concise way so that the section doesn't loose focus from the main topic - Lee Quede. It might also be useful to include, if possible, where Lee Quede was born and on what date he was born (not just the year). Additionally, if there is any information about the rest of his family, both in his early life and in his later life, then that would be great! For example, did he ever get married? Does he have kids? What about his parents? Also, in the section about his moving to North Korea, where specifically did he go? What's the name of the city? (One of the reasons that I add info about Lee's brother because I could not find that much of information about Lee's early life and even his parents. Most of the sources that I have are about his later life and what did he do in his art work. I am going to search more into that cause those are such good points and questions. Thank you!).

In the 'Lee Quede and Hyangtosaek' section, it would be useful to have more information about 'hyuangtosaek', such as when it was created and who started the movement? (Yes, I can talk about the movement more but Lee Quede was one of the artists who started Hyangtosaek and I am just going to focus on that and clear it out).

Third Paragraph in the 'Lee Quede and Hyangtosaek' section - try to explain a little bit more about what you mean by "Right or Left". If this is in political terms, then maybe use the specific ideological beliefs instead, such as "Conservative" or "Liberal". (You are right. It is better to use the political and specific terms because I can make the reader confused by saying "left or right." Great point. Thank you!).

Lastly, there are a few small typos that can be fixed and some sentences feel a little long. (I am going to check its grammar and revise it).

Tone and Balance
The tone isn't completely neutral. The last sentence of the Activities section tried to paint Lee in a positive light, almost in an argumentative way. I suggest just cutting that sentence out since it summarizes the rest of the section. (Yes, it does. I will change the tone of the last sentence).

The descriptions of the paintings read a little bit like analysis, which might influence the neutrality of the article. Rather that trying to explain what the paintings evoke, or to reference the viewers as "we", it would be more neutral to simply describe the elements of the paintings. In other words, try not to connect specific details, such as color or shape, to emotions or evocations. (Thank you for mentioning this but I do not agree with explaining what the paintings evoke. If I describe the paintings based on my personal perspective and reference the viewers as "we" then I am going to be bias. The whole descriptions are going to be bias and not neutral).

Try to avoid using language such as "provoke" (first sentence in the second paragraph of the Lee Quede and Hyangtosaek section), because it makes the writing sound argumentative. Thus, it doesn't come across neutral. ( I am not sure what I am feeling about this feedback. I am going to look more into it. Thank you).

Neutrality with description of paintings can be tricky, especially in response to emotions or effects of the paintings, because each viewer might have a unique emotional response to a painting. That it why it may be more neutral to simply refer to superficial descriptions of the elements of the artwork (eg: color, shape, figures, age, etc.) and to reference historical significance of the artwork (eg: was it recognized? was it shown in exhibits? was it used for posers or for propaganda?). (Good point! I will look into the historical significance of the paintings).

Sources and References
The reference citations should be put at the end of the sentences, not in the middle. (I am confused with this feedback. Is there any place in the article that the reference citation is in the middle of the sentence? I have not noticed any).

The linked images take the reader of the article to the MMCA website, but not to the specific images in question. It can be a little bit confusing to click on the link in hopes of seeing the specific painting, but then only seeing the artists biography. (I think for this problem, I am going to just add the pictures into the articles so it is easier for the viewer to see the pic directly).

As of right now, there are only 2 sources being referenced. I look forward to seeing the article with all of the sources used! :)

Images and Media
It might be good, if possible, to add some of the images that are described and referenced physically into the article, rather than through the links. (Agree. Last time I was not able to add pictures due to some of the wikipeadia's policies but this time it should not be a problem).

For New Articles Only
The structure of the article is good so far, except that it is missing a Lead section. It could use more sources, but I'm sure you have the already planned out. (The Lead section is going to be added and more of the sources are going to be used. Thank you for checking the sources reliability).

The two sources used however are reliable, which is great for meeting the Wikipedia Notability requirements.

Overall Impressions
Overall, I believe the draft is a good first version! The main element I would point towards would be to make sure the tone is neutral, which can be addressed with some rephrasing of sentences.

I would also suggest adding more factual information about Lee Quede himself, such as birthplace, birthdate, parents, whether he was married, where he lived most of his life, etc.

Otherwise, this article was really fun to read and I look forward to reading the finished version too.

Good luck! You got this! :)