User:Zefiak

Man Genius
Szymon Figurski, dubbed 'man genius' is without a doubt, the most intellectual and intelligent being on Earth. His creative and outstanding ideas can change the world forever. His many feats and accomplishments are now the stories of the world. He is the reason why we are all still alive today, yes, its all because of the 'man genius'. As his famous words say, "I'm not smart, everyone else is just dumb!" His words indeed proved themselves several times, the first time on a science test. Szymon had spent exactly 0% of his time studying for his science test, and he got a B-. The good part? He wasn't even surprised when the teacher told him he got the best grade in the class, he simply said. "I'm not smart, everyone else is just dumb!" Even Szymon's teacher said, "I don't really understand why he comes to school, he already knows all these stuff!"

Szymon managed to be the most epic homosapien of all time, just like that. His wisdom enhanced everybody around him in an instant, and he carried on with his intellectual skills with surprising alacrity, As reporter Ryan Kress said, "Einstein is the past, Szymon though? Szymon is the future!"

Horizontal trees
Out of all those ideas out there, Szymon's are still the best. His 'tree idea' has been said to be the most useful and odd idea of all time. It is really quite simple: Tree's should be horizontal. If trees did not stand vertically, but horizontally on the ground, then the dangers would be much smaller and overall it would make more sense. No longer would you have to worry about a tree falling on your house or car, because if trees stood horizontally, then they wouldn't fall. As Szymon said, "The key to all my great ideas is logic." Horizontal trees are very logical indeed, the pull of gravity would no longer pose such a threat to humans. How many times did you walk down the sidewalk worried that a tree will fall on you? Or how many times did you walk in the middle of the street just to stay safe from trees? And how many times did you get hit by a car when you walked in the middle of the street? There is only one answer to a question like this. A lot. So you see now yourself, horizontal trees will change the world for the better.

Doorknobs
Why do people have door knobs? All they do is waste your energy when you have to turn them to get somewhere else, and who wants to do that? Szymon's flawless idea about this topic solved a troublesome problem and saved the country from terminal crisis. "Just get rid of them." he had suggested, and with his words came a miracle. Doorknobs stopped bothering people once and for all. Finally we got rid of that horrible anathema.

Flat House's
Is there a better house than a flat one? Of all of Szymon's ideas, this is without a doubt one of his best. "House's just take up space, make them flat!" he had said, and so it happened. The first flat house was built in November of 2019. Though not very stylish and roomy, it definitely served its purpose. It didn't get in the way, and it didn't take up any space! This flat house turned out to be successful, and so others followed. It is expected that by 2300, all of the U.S will be filled with flat houses, and finally for the first time in years, there will be space. Szymon's improvement already proved that the world needs talented individuals like him.

Homework
The most devious and scary torture method of all. Homework. This is usually carried out by teachers, counselors, and other sneaky adults who are trying to ruin your lives. Homework was proving to be a big problem in society, and a hard one too, so naturally, the first thing the government did was call Szymon. "Get rid of it." Szymon advised. "Not only does it poison children's brains, but it also leads to accidents and other bad things." What if your dog choked because he ate your homework? What if you got a paper cut because of your homework? Or what if you fell under a car because you were thinking about homework? Not good. It has been scientifically proven that homework leads to stress, stress leads to more stress, and more stress leads to pain. Szymon told them that adding more classwork will only exacerbate the problem. The government is currently thinking about this matter, knowing that Szymon is right, but too guilty to admit that they are dumber. Indeed, this is a real dilemma.

Schooling
Szymon is often asked, "How did you get so smart? What did you do? Why do you still come to school? The answer is still a mystery. Nobody knows what kind of magic Szymon used that made him so wicked smart, but many have tried to match his level of intelligence. All have failed. Teachers often don't know what to do with him. It's hard to teach someone when they know way more about you on the subject, in fact, that is a favorite thing for Szymon to do in class. Say for example, that a teacher starts talking about WWII, and then Szymon would ask. "Could you please explain more about this? I find your presentation quite perfunctory when I also find the topic scintillating. However some parts seem a little obfuscated to me, could you please elucidate on the matter of Ghetto's and the Warsaw uprising?" As the teacher, you find it hard to keep up, often you pretend you didn't hear the question.

As it is, Szymon has mastered all of his school subjects, plus several more. He has deeply studied dinosaurs, pirates, and animals to the extent where he knows everything. But again, that's no surprise. History in school is so perfunctory that it is quite unnerving for future society when people will be asking who Napoleon was. Szymon is said to be the avant-garde of science, history, math, etc.

The Mystery of the hidden Pencil
When Szymon was interviewed on the topic, he said that to him it hadn't been much of a mystery at all. For the sake of privacy, he replaced the suspect's names with letters. As it was, when Y came over and told him about the missing pencil, Szymon knew it was either Z, X, or V. They always stole pencils, but he couldn't just shout false accusations, that would give too much trouble. Z however was one of those people who stole pencils with coerce. Y however said that the theft was done secretly, which left X and V. Near the place where the pencil had been before the theft, Szymon found goldfish crumbs. Only one person in the class had goldfish. Instantly, V was cornered, and he was forced to give back the pencil, plus with a fine with a few goldfish. And just like that, the case was solved.

The Past and the Future
When people ask what Szymon was like when he was younger, the answer is always the same. Smart, creative, and awesome. Three characteristics that obviously stayed with him as he aged. He seemed to know how to do everything from the moment he was born. Just like that he was already writing books. By the age of four, Szymon even manager to change some of Shapespear's lines for the better. "To be smart, or not to be smart, that is the question." he always said. And he was right. Szymon did many things in his youth. He got stitches three times on his head, two times when at the pool, and one time when he ran into a doorknob. He also traveled to Poland, Britain, Germany, and crossed the border in the Tatra mountains into Slovakia. He managed to impress everyone around him all the time.

Many people asked what him what he wanted to be when he grew up. At age four he said he wanted to be famous. After accomplishing that he decided that he wanted to be even more awesome. At age six he had already been everything that he wanted to be. So what now? As time progresses, we can only wait and see what other stunning things will he do in the future?

Dog
Nella is a white English lab who will do anything for food. She is also the source of many of Szymon's ideas. When Nella's food gets messy, baam! Szymon invented the dog food bowl. When Nella wants to sniff out in the woods where you don't want to go? Baam! Szymon invented the longer dog leash. Nella's great influential behavior is why many things that we use everyday exist. Nella is also hype when it comes to other dogs, she sparked the idea of electricity, wind turbines, and hamster balls just by looking at another dog.

Thumb
Szymon's thumb is also the source of many ideas. His thumb is special in a peculiar way. It is the biggest of his five fingers, and rounded at the end. Now imagine this, what if you dipped your thumb in paint so that you could paint on paper with your thumb? That's right, you have Szymon to thank for that one. Also nail clippers, thumb print identification, and bone structure. Szymon's thumb is indeed more important than most. So now there is a real question. what about your thumb?

Hair
Szymon has brown hair which helps him think. The color brown is scientifically proven that it helps people concentrate and be more creative. To keep this hair with him at all times, he keeps it on his head, swept to one, side. This way, whenever he need's to concentrate, it is there for him. Yes, that was another one of his essential ideas, and you have his hair to thank that for. And what about ponytails? Those were also his idea. Because of this, Szymon has a rather low opinion of barbers. "When they cut your hair off," Szymon said, "it's like they take a part of you away." The moral, don't let your hair get cut.

Arm
What would one do without an arm? An arm makes life easier in so many ways, and since Szymon has two of them, you can already see he's a genius. An arm is used for many things, from writing, to playing basketball. You can used your arm to carry a shield, you can even use your arm to hit someone. Szymon's arm is ineed on his list of essential things need in life. His arm manager to keep others in awe, because who wouldn't want an arm like Szymon's?

Knee
His knee also came in useful to the development of several languages. Just by learning how to say 'knee' in several language, Szymon had already developed new skills. Rodilla, kolano, knie, koleno, etc. Nobody has ever noticed the true importance of the knee. How easily you can learn new languages and protect your legs, all at the same time!

Finger
Fingers are just as important as knee's, if not more. With fingers, you can type on keyboard, hold things, and pick your nose! Is there a better tool? No, there is not, everyone picks there nose at some point, and with fingers, you can do it easily, and stealthily.

Forehead
What would a head be like, without a forehead? It wouldn't be very big, and Szymon needs a big head to hold his giant and massive brain. Without his forehead, Szymon would find that he would look rather odd, and his brain might ooze out his ears because there won't be enough space. Of course, you have to watch out for that, so remember always keep some nuts with you. They help.

Leg
Legs come very useful in life. You can walk and jump and overall be happy. Without his legs Szymon wouldn't be able to walk anywhere at all, and walking as it is bring on many new ideas. Moving sidewalks, cars, wheelchairs, etc. So Szymon's legs are really important, but most of all his left leg. Because what would his right leg do without his left? He would have to hop, all day long. So his left leg is the most important, and he uses it all the time. What would he do without it?

Thighs
Thighs are very important to Szymon, and hopefully you too. They support your whole body, and allow you to do many things. Thighs are the main part of the body, that should be big and attractive. We can all take a example of Saquon's thighs, he is quite a role model on the subject.

Doubters
Yes, it is the sad truth. Some people doubt Szymon's amazing intellectual abilities, and the flawlessness of this article. So now this warning is out there. All doubters will be executed with a blunt axe, tortured, washed with hydrofloric acid, then executed again with a hydrogen bomb. Your remains, (if any) will be hung outside on the flag pole in front of the school for all to see. We will take all the blood from the process and use it for food coloring. Your brains will be ground into a mush and shoved down a random innocent persons throat. Then your friends will be frozen forever.