User:Zhaq123/sandbox

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This is place to practice clicking the "edit" button and practice adding references (via the citation button). Please see Help:My_sandbox or contact User_talk:JenOttawa with any questions.

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 * Note: Please use your sandbox to submit assignment # 3 by pasting it below. When uploading your improvements to the article talk page please share your exact proposed edit (not the full assignment 3).


 * Talk Page Template: CARL Medical Editing Initiative/Fall 2019/Talk Page Template

Concussion

Assignment Number 2:
Zahra: Looking to edit and find a better source for this sentence: It is the most common type of TBI.

1)    How you searched for a source (search strategy – where you went to find it).

I searched for a source on PubMed multiple times (21 times, to be honest). I kept adding and removing limitations. I went back and looked at the MeSH headings and tried to more inclusive by using Brain Injuries, Traumatic header that includes Brain Concussion, Contusion and Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. Since I wanted a secondary source, I limited publication type to Systematic Review. I am looking for updated statistics on concussions in the population in the last 4 years, which is how I arrived at this search.

2) What potential sources were identified and considered (give examples of 1 or 2).

Citations are provided in APA format. I am interested in finding out what are the most common types of traumatic brain injury.

Source 1: Lasry, O., Liu, E. Y., Powell, G. A., Ruel-Laliberté, J., Marcoux, J., & Buckeridge, D. L. (2017). Epidemiology of recurrent traumatic brain injury in the general population: a systematic review. Neurology, 89(21), 2198-2209.

-        This source came up in the search. While this paper talks about the epidemiology, which is good, it narrows in on recurrent TBIs- so traumatic brain injuries that happen more than once. Since I am interested in finding out the general most common type of traumatic brain injury, it is not exactly what I am looking for.

Source 2: Nguyen, R., Fiest, K. M., McChesney, J., Kwon, C. S., Jette, N., Frolkis, A. D., ... & Pringsheim, T. (2016). The international incidence of traumatic brain injury: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Canadian journal of neurological sciences, 43(6), 774-785.

-       This paper focuses more on an international level and also identifies traumatic brain injury in general, and not just focusing in on one type. It is a systematic review, which fits the criteria. It also reports what type of TBI is most common, which is what I am looking for.

3) Why the source was chosen (what made it better than other choices).

The second papery by Nguyen et al (2016) was chosen because it fits all the criteria I was looking for, and more specifically, it explains traumatic brain injury and not just limiting it down to different types of traumatic brain injury- for example, concussions or repeat TBIs.

4) List at least three reasons why the source that was selected meets Wikipedia’s reliable medical sources (MEDRS) criteria.

-       It is a secondary source and not original research

-       It is a systematic review – not an original research article

-       It is published in 2016, so within the last 5 years meaning it is recent

5) How do you plan to use the source for improving the article?

The current Wikipedia sentence reads outcomes are generally good, with a reference from about 15 years ago. This source will be used to expand what the outcomes after a traumatic brain injuiry are with more recent literature.

Assignment #3:
Proposed Changes: I would like to edit this section of the article:

Concussions are estimated to affect more than 6 per 1,000 people a year.[3] It is the most common type of TBI.[3] Males and young adults are most commonly affected.[3]

My proposed changes: Worldwide, concussions are estimated to affect more than 349 per 100,000 people a year. Concussions are classified as mild traumatic brain injuries and are the most common type of TBIs. Males are the most commonly affected and those at extreme ends of age (under 15 or over 65) are at lower risk.

Nguyen, R., Fiest, K. M., McChesney, J., Kwon, C. S., Jette, N., Frolkis, A. D., ... & Pringsheim, T. (2016). The international incidence of traumatic brain injury: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Canadian journal of neurological sciences, 43(6), 774-785.

Rationale for proposed change: There are 3 sentences I am editing and why.

1.	Change the concussion statistics to reflect new information. The previous reference (#3) is from 2004. I have found an updated systematic review + meta-analysis article that has updated incidence numbers for concussions globally. The change is necessary because it has been 15 years since the statistics were updated on the epidemiology of concussions. The new information comes from the systematic review published in 2016 by Nguyen et al. The new statistic is a smaller estimate than the 15 year old number, and is dramatically different, which is why it should be changed. 2.	I want to change concussions are the most common type of TBI and are referred to as mild TBI. The reason for this is to clarify that concussions are a TBI, but are classified as a mild TBI, and to ensure that this distinction is noted here. 3.	I want to add a reference to the sentence that says “Males and young adults are most commonly affected” from the same source as 1 that confirms it with recent data. Once again, the previous citation is from 15 years ago, so I would like to update it to something more relevant

Some anticipated controversy about these changes are as follows:

1.     The updated statistic (349 per 100,000 people) is harder to understand than 6 per 1,000. However, I believe the new estimated epidemiology of concussion is dramatically different enough from the previous, 15 year old estimate that even though it is more difficult to understand, it needs to be changed.

2.     The edit adding in “concussions are classified as mild traumatic brain injuries” may seem repetitive within the scope of the entire article. However, I argue that to be totally clear and transparent, it is necessary to redefine how concussions and mild traumatic brain injuries are related to clear any doubts.

3.     There might be controversy about having two sources for one fact. I would address this by removing the older source (it is 15 years old).

Critique of Source:

-       The source I used is a  2016 paper by Nguyen et al, a systematic review and meta-analysis of the incidence of traumatic brain injury worldwide. My main issue with this paper is that it is not published in an exemplary journal; the Canadian Journal of Neurological Sciences is a local journal (the authors are from Canada as well), and has an impact factor of 2.286

-       A major limitation of this study is that articles were only included in the systematic review if they were published in English or French. As this study attempts to estimate the overall global incidence rate, they could be missing important data published in another language.

-       The global estimated incidence rate mainly includes data from North America (39/77 papers) and Europe (32/77), with the rest of the continents having less than 6 papers reporting incidence rates. This can result in a significant deviation in the reported incidence rate from the true incidence rate, due to the oversampling of North American and European populations and under sampling of the rest of the world.