User:Ziggy9alm/Kimsooja/Conceptcontext Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ziggy9alm


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Ziggy9alm/Kimsooja
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kimsooja

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Big Questions

- Overall what you have written is very good and interesting

- You have no direct references in the paragraphs you have written so far. Although the references are good there is no way of knowing where you got what information in your paragraphs.

- You have a very good start and interesting points, maybe adding information about specific works the artist made as well as pictures would help improve your article as well.

Lead

- Very good however perhaps you can add the details about her education can perhaps go in a biographical paragraph. Your   lead could give more of a general overview.

- i know about her studious life than the importance of the topic or the most important information

- Lead could include information about her art practice and the different mediums she uses in a general introductory way.

Article Body

- Perhaps start off by restating her name because it is a different section

- Very interesting contrasts of what her work does like the material and immaterial. Make sure to keep a neutral tone when formally analyzing her work.

Structure

- Structure is good and makes sense, I would only flip some information from the lead to the article body and vice versa. Placing the most relevant things in the lead and biographical details in the body.

Balance

- Article is well balanced there just seems to be missing details and information but that will come as you continue to advance.

Neutral Content

- good job being neutral

- you talk about how her piece is challenging for some viewers but are not saying that it is challenging for you so that is good

- "Art spectators are forced to separate the art from the artist and, in turn, question not just humanity’s existence but also the problems we as a collective face in any given era". This part maybe is a bit more argumentative but just a small shift in some language would fix it.

Reliable Sources

- Your sources seem good only thing is to directly cite in the lead and article where you are getting what