User:Ziggy9alm/Kimsooja/Sb871423 Peer Review

Lead:

- recommend a more concise introductory sentence that explains the medium she works in, where she works, and any relevant dates

- lead should only be an overview of what will later be discussed in the article

- excessive information (ex. do not need to elaborate on mfa)

- too much detail about education/personal life that could be broken into another section

Content:

- subheadings in the article body may clarify the important exhibitions/events in her career

- some text in the article body doesn't offer any information about the subject and it convolutes the article. I would remove excessive reflection, ex. "With such mediums she visually and emotionally intertwines tradition with contemporary art." This is a correct statement, but it feels jarring in the context of a Wikipedia article.

- think show not tell: what art pieces has Kimsooja created that intertwine tradition with contemporary art? From this article, I have limited information on what work she has actually created

Strengths:

- demonstrates understanding and acknowledgment of the gravity of kimsooja's career

- reveals why this artist may have had difficulty receiving acknowledgment as a Korean woman.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Ziggy9alm


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)