User:ZionMoore/Carmen Maria Machado/Zac.israel Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) ZionMoore


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:ZionMoore/Carmen Maria Machado


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Carmen Maria Machado

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Hello Zion. Great draft! Please see my feedback below.

Lead:

I see that the original article has a pretty in depth opening paragraph describing who Carmen Machado is so there is not much I can say here.

Content:

What you have added in the "Early Life" is good because it talks about the struggles she faced and what she was interested in in her early life. Try to see if you can talk more about her childhood because the original article does not talk about it. The original article was very detailed in the "Career" section but you were still able to add some significant information to it. The "Personal" section in the original article only has one sentence so I like how you added the "Personal Views (Personal)" and "Writings and Writing Style (Personal)" sections. In the first sentence of the "Early Life" section, there should be a "when" before "she was."

You added a lot more to each section which is something that I need to do.

Tone and Balance:

You did a good job of keeping a neutral tone and not showing any personal biases. You allow the readers to come to their own conclusions about Carmen Machado.

Organization:

Your writing is split up into appropriate sections so it is very easy for readers to follow along and understand what you wrote.

Sources and References:

You have a good number of sources all of which seem to be credible. This is great because readers will believe what your are writing. I need to add more sources!

Images & Media: N/A

Overall Impressions:

Overall, this draft is a very solid start. I like how you added a lot of information that was not already in the original article.

Aside from the minor errors (first sentence in "Early Life" section), I do not have much to critique about this draft. You did a great job!