User:ZuesChill/Demaratus/PimpDaddyPeaches Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

ZuesChill


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:ZuesChill/Demaratus?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Demaratus

Evaluate the drafted changes
Demaratus:

"Demaratus was removed from the throne after the oracle at Delphi said he was not the son of Ariston." This is a good piece of information to add, since in the current version it does not explain why he left.

Family Background:"After Ariston had remained childless from his first two wives, he made a deal with Agetus, one of his friends, that they both grant each other one favor. While Agetus went into the treasury and picked something, Ariston asked for Agetus' wife." This is much better than the previous version, this brings more detail instead of the latter being, he took Agetus wife.

Reign and Deposition:

The title change is good, as it tells what the full paragraph is about instead of just Reign. My only suggestion for this paragraph is to add a citation to this sentence. "Leotychidas, still upset about Demaratus trying to take his wife, Perkalos, as his own, agrees under the stipulation that Leotychidas will become King when Demaratus is deposed." Just for readers to get the full fleshed story of Leotychidas and Demaratus relationship.

Demaratus summons his mother:

This is a nice addition to the article has as a whole, as it adds new information not present within the current articles version.

Demaratus and Xerxes I:

You added with great detail of how Demaratus actually made a deal with Darius before his son Xerxes even makes it unto the throne, when the current version only stipulates that Xerxes is king.

Overall:

You added some great detail to this article that really fleshes it out. You kept a neutral tone. The only issue is that all your sources are from Herodotus, but that isn't the biggest deal since it is a person from two millennia ago, but try to see if you can add another credible source if you can.